Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Sunday, September 30, 2007

In Awe

Are you ever in awe? I am in awe of the things God does for me, and mostly, I am just in awe of how much He loves me.

I sit before you in tears. I can't even tell you.

First, to have such healing after 33 years of this pain. A pain that just wouldn't go away. Not until I truly gave it up. 18.8 miles, I don't have any idea of how many steps that is, but satan, I stomped all over you. You suck, God reigns.

Second, to see my daughter off to homecoming, she was absolutely beautiful. Pictures tomorrow. It was a day, I will never ever forget. After that I spent some time with Drew, Amanda, and Ava at dinner. The food was good, but the company was better, and at our empty seat sat Jesus. Breaking tortilla chips with us.

Then today, I went up to Grace Gospel Fellowship to hear a sermon that was unbelievable. One I so needed to hear. Keith sang "it is well with my soul". And what else is there? It is well with my soul.

No matter what I've been through, self-inflicted or not, God is a God of love. How amazing is that. It is well with my soul all because of Jesus.

I can't seem to get enough of this scripture...

Romans 8:38-39 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


It is Well
WHEN PEACE LIKE A RIVER ATTENDETH MY WAY
WHEN SORROW LIKE SEA BILLOWS ROLL
WHATEVER MY LOT, THOU HAST TAUGHT ME TO SAY
IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

CHORUS:
IT IS WELL (IT IS WELL) WITH MY SOUL (WITH MY SOUL) IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL.

MY SIN, OH THE BLISS OF THAT GLORIOUS THOUGHT
MY SINS NOT IN PART, BUT THE WHOLE
WAS NAILED TO THE CROSS AND I BEAR IT NO MORE,
PRAISE THE LORD, PRAISE THE LORD, OH MY SOUL.

AND LORD HASTE THE DAY WHEN THE FAITH SHALL BE SIGHT
THE CLOUDS BE ROLLED BACK AS A SCROLL
THE TRUMP SHALL RESOUND AND THE LORD SHALL DESCEND
EVEN SO IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL

IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL
IT IS WELL, IT IS WELL WITH MY SOUL - WITH MY SOUL

Saturday, September 29, 2007

So how did it go?

Well, it's Saturday, I'm blogging... and it doesn't end until Sunday. Does that give you any indication??

I'll start at the beginning, and you'll have to bear with me on every detail... you know I'm wordy, I get that from Sara, she invented me you know...

I was so nervous, hardly slept Thursday night. I was all packed... We get there (after we found the place & got out of traffic). I hopped out of the van, all I cared about was kissing Phyllis good-bye. Forgot my water bottle on the console of the van, and my dad couldn't turn around because of traffic. I panicked. What am i going to do...

So... I'm walking around trying not to cry (yeah, Sara, tell them how easy that is). I'm praying God, please bring someone to soothe me, I can't start this way...

Answered Prayer #1 I hear my name, it's Jan Schueler from my old church, she's a survivor and her daughter was walking too. Shew... calm...

Answered Prayer #2 I NEEDED a water bottle, none! in sight, I was telling someone how stupid I was... "Oh i have an extra one, you want it?" Now this was one of those two for one deals, if I took the water bottle I had, it would have been a pain to carry, heavy so I got a perfect size one...

Answered Prayer #3 I wanted to see someone from my team that I knew (I didn't know that many) and not even 30 seconds later, here comes Jan and her daughter, Jan just found out she has (it will soon be HAD) breast cancer, her surgery is Monday. I was so glad to see her. I had been praying all week for her.

Answered Prayer #4 I really wanted to walk with my tent mate, she is amazing, remember her? Bonnie. I IMMEDIATLY turned my head, in 1000s of people, whoop there she was! We walked the whole time together.

So the walk goes on and on, I turned my ankle about mile 5. Not too bad, just kept walking, no swelling... We eat lunch at mile 10.1 (over half way there!)... we're walking... about 10 minutes into it.... There goes Margie (you guys forgot to pray for my ankles, because i have one not even worth mentioning blister). I fell. Hard. 10.2 on the richter scale. But I kept walking... it swelled up a bit... golf ball size...

Answered Prayer #5 Ice cream, Bonnie and i were wishing for ice cream "any flavor". We turned the corner... ice cream parlor. I didn't even get passed the door in the sidewalk, I was right in there. Bonnie asked "what we're going to get ice cream, we're going to go to the Pit Stop with ice cream?" My reply "they can get their own". I said this ice cream is a gift from God, we're not passing it up. I had Peanut Butter Chocolate, she had Cherry Cordial... YUMMO!

Answered Prayer #6 We were tired, we didn't want to put our tents up. Romeo Football and Hockey teams were there to help with the tents!! Great job boys!!

I finished the walk, that last mile was a killer and my ankle hurt but I was determined to finish. I went to the medic, as soon as i got my shoe off, you could have played baseball with my ankle. HUGE. Iced it, Motrin. It hurt but I hobbled around. I was so worried that I couldn't walk today. What will people think, what if they are mad because I didn't make the whole 60 miles? Yikes, got myself all worked up. Took a shower (much needed) and felt better. Ate too...

I asked someone to send me a scripture, it was Duet 30:15-20. I have never read Duet because I "thought" it's the law. Ick. I don't like rules... But it was perfect there were some parts that hit me like a ton of bricks.

I had a new life bible because i didn't want to take my big one... and it was only $5 at FCS. I know not all the versions say the same thing, but you can read what I read.

15 "See, I have put in front of you today life and what is good, and death and what is bad. 16 I tell you today to love the Lord your God. Walk in His ways. Keep all His Laws and all that He has decided. Then you will live and become many. And the Lord your God will bring good to you in the land you are going in to take. 17 But if your heart turns away and you will not obey, but leave to worship other gods and serve them, 18 I tell you today that you will die for sure. You will not live long in that land across the Jordan which you are about to take for your own. 19 I call heaven and earth to speak against you today. I have put in front of you life and death, the good and the curse. So choose life so you and your children after you may live. 20 Love the Lord your God and obey His voice. Hold on to Him. For He is your life, and by Him your days will be long. You will be allowed to live in the land the Lord promised to give to your fathers, Abraham, Isaac and Jacob."

So here's the thing, this wasn't about walking. It was about bringing honor to the decision that God made to bring my mom home to Him. It was about a healing that I needed because the bandaid holding my pain in wasn't going to last much longer.

Today is Phyllis's first homecoming, and it broke my heart that I was going to miss it. And now I don't have to. I think someone pushed me to make sure I didn't miss a milestone. That when my daughter looks back, she'll have memories of her mom who got to be at everything she could be.

So let me tell you, I can't for one minute put into words how much your love and support has meant to me. I can tell you that my mom is looking down on you too, and she's smiling because the love she has for me, shown through you this whole time.

God is good, all the time.

I'll post pictures later

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Lists - Things I need for my walk



1. Prayer

2. Kleenex

3. Good shoes

4. Sleeping bag

5. Pillow

6. Water Bottle

7. Sunscreen

8. Camera(s)

9. My cool shirts

10. More Prayer

For Friday



Since I won't be "here" Friday, Saturday, and probably not Sunday either... I will post so if you miss me, you can still visit. You don't have to visit, but please don't stop praying!!!

Verses to remember (this is my theme!)

YOU ARE LOVED!!!
Romans 8:38-39
38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[
a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.


YOU ARE HEALED!!!
Isaiah 53:5
5 But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.


YOU HAVE HOPE!!!

Romans 5:1-5
1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Prayer


Psalm 27:7 Hear my voice when I call, O LORD; be merciful to me and answer me

Quote of the day "I'm so thankful for a God that never gets tired of hearing from me". Normally I don't say too many profound things... but today, that was me.

Yesterday I went for a mammogram. It's a routine thing I have to do because of my mom. AND, IF YOU ARE DUE FOR ONE, AND YOU HAVEN'T GONE, GET GOING, I love you and expect for you to be around for a LONG LONG time! And early detection is your best chance of survival. Just imagine the things God can use you for His Glory. Get going.

I called at the last minute for my mammogram, got right in, on the day I wanted, and the time I wanted. hmmm.. think it was a coincidence, I don't think so, you know why?
Because as I was sitting in the changing room, in that sexy gown they give you, makes you want to run out to the red carpet, doesn't it.... There was a woman who just finished her ultrasound (usually only get those if they find something on the mammogram). They found something, she was waiting for the doctor. All alone. Tears welling up in her eyes. I'm sitting there. Praying for her in my head. Wondering, should I ask her if she wants prayer... You think it's easy, it's not, I am already pretty self conscience about praying out loud, what if she thinks I'm a moron because I don't pray well outloud. But I stepped out. I asked her, she said yes. Then in my head I'm thinking "please God, don't let me sound like an idiot". And I did, I prayed, I mean, I don't know what I sounded like, I hope I sounded like someone who loves God, loves that woman, I prayed for her healing, for the doctors and for hope and joy. Some woman named Phyllis (HA!) said that I sounded beautiful. Hopefully it helped her too. I think she was wearing a wig... made me think she had cancer too. I left just thankful that God could use me, and praying they don't find anything...

Last night was 1721, the worship gathering of churches downriver to worship our great God. It was amazing, we had over 350 kids, 31 churches. Get that 31! 31 DIFFERENT churches who put the "us vs. them" down, and remembered why we are here. Jesus Christ. That's why we're here. It was an amazing time, I can't put it to words but I will tell you that I couldn't sit down, God was moving big time!! I'm telling you, I must pray 1000 prayers for those kids, I just love them. I saw some kids from my 'old' church there, and they were as excited to see me, as i was to see them (and it completely overwhelmed me! They know how much I love them!!)

Today, I got a text page, a woman at the mission overdosed last night. She relapsed. ugh. I'm so sad. I am overwhelmed with sadness. Why did she relapse? I don't know why. Was she saved? I don't know, but I sure hope so. Drugs don't keep you from Jesus. If you know Him, you know Him. We've all relapsed. Every single one of us. maybe not on drugs but on our addictions. It makes me want to run up and hug each person there and just let them know how much I love them, and more importantly how much God loves them.

Tomorrow, I walk. I walk for so many things, for so many people. I walk each step to send satan back to hell where he belongs, he can take his cancer, his drugs, his hate, and all the other crappy stuff he brings to this world. This is a world that needs God, and one step at a time, I will do everything I can for the Glory of God. Because I'm thankful for a God who never grows weary. For a living, and mighty God. For a loving God. One who loves you, and love me.

Lord, I don't have the words today. You know my heart. Heal those who need it. Send Your love down. Bind satan in chains that don't break. Remind us God, in the little things, in the big things, how much You love us. Lord, I love You, please keep using me Lord. In Your Son's Mighty, Healing, Loving name. AMEN!

2 Corin 1:10-11 10He has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and he will deliver us. On him we have set our hope that he will continue to deliver us, 11as you help us by your prayers. Then many will give thanks on our[a] behalf for the gracious favor granted us in answer to the prayers of many.



Solution - Hillsong United

It is not a human right
To stare not fight
While broken nations dream
Open up our eyes, so blind
That we might find
The Mercy for the need

Singin Hey Now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey Now
As we hold to our confession
Yeah

It is not too far a cry
To much to try
To help the least of these
Politics will not decide
If we should rise
And be your hands and feet

Singing Hey Now
Fill our hearts with your compassion
Hey Now
As we hold to our confession

Woah-oh-oh,
God be the solution
Woah-oh-oh
We will be Your hands and be Your feet.
Yeah, yeah

Higher than a circumstance
Your promise stands
Your love for all to see
Higher than protest line and dollar signs
Your love is all we need

Only you can mend the broken heart
And cause the blind to see
Erase complete the sinners past
And set the captives free
Only you can take the widows cry
And cause her heart to sing
Be a father to the fatherless
Our savior and our king
We will be your hands, we will be your feet
We will run this race
On the darkest place, we will be your light
We will be your light

We will be your hands , we will be your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place, we will be your light
We will be your light (we’ll say/sing?)

We will run we will run
We will (run with the solution?) (2x)

We will be your hands we will be your feet
We will run this race for the least of these
In the darkest place we will be your light
We will be your light

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

No quitting


There is no quitting in my household. I can tell you, one example would be the walk I am about to take. I will walk every mile, there will be no quitting. There is only two ways I am finishing the 3 Day Breast Cancer Walk, across the finish line or on a stretcher.

I don't quit. I just don't. Even when people tell me I should, even sometimes, when it's for my own good. Not quitting. I don't give up. It's some character flaw.

I belong the generation X, followed by the millenials. both generations, have been given way too much and expect that the world owes them something. The world doesn't owe you crap. I sometimes feel like I am an exception to the rule of my generation. I work hard, I take my responsibilities seriously. And I don't walk away.

Imagine if you will, where would you be if Jesus came down as an Xer or a millenial and said "You know, Dad, this is just way too much, I'm done, I'm out, find someone else".

Ugh.

I believe that we have two generations who need Jesus more than ever. We have kids and parents, and single people, and divorced people who need Jesus. They need all He is. They need a Savior, a Healer, a Redeemer, a Friend, a Father to show them a way that may not be easy, but every step with/in Him is worth taking.

My heart is breaking. But I'm healed.


Isaiah 53:5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our iniquities; The chastisement for our peace was upon Him, And by His stripes we are healed.

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My Generation - Starfield
There is something more
hello, we're going down the hallway to the door
we know there's something more

Our soul has a got a hole
we know but what's it waiting for
scattered in the street
like dreams and destiny
the things we wanna be
are scattered in the streets

If we're coming clean
we've seen to know we're incomplete

Chorus:
How do we feel, how do we feel
my generation is aching for real
dyin for love cryin for truth
my generation is aching for you

Country of our own
is all we're asking for
a place to call our home
a country of our own
we know it must be close
our souls are searching through the cold
the cold, the cold

Chorus: x3
How do we feel, how do we feel
my generation is aching for real
dyin for love, cryin for truth
my generation is aching for you

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Hit the road...

satan... hit the road, and take cancer with you. I'm sick of you both.

His 'can' covers my can'ts

Let me first say, I am not amazing, I'm not awesome, and I am not an inspiration, I am not a hero. This is not about my self-esteem. Those things, they are about God. He is all those things.

I slip up, mess up, sin, doubt, and I want to give up on a regular basis. Ok, I said it.

I am the ordinary. I am someone who tries really hard, only to be reminded that I am just me. If God depended on me to save the world, well, I can tell you, you won't end up in paradise. But thankfully God can do anything.

Last night I went to a meeting for Phyllis's trip to Austria for the Hayden Festival in 2009. What's that you say? It's like THE biggest music festival in the WORLD, held in Vienna Austria. You think Motown is big? Mozart came out of Vienna. Yeah, 3 groups from the USA have been hand selected Eric Knapp to participate. Duke University, Princeton University, and Roosevelt Accepella Choir. yes, that's right. And my beautiful daughter is in that last group. Can i tell you? I am not sure she gets it. But her mom gets it. This is the opportunity of a freaking lifetime. A LIFETIME!!! It's amazing. And I needed to get out of Downriver mentality to get there (sorry, if I offended you), there's more to life than Wal-mart and Nascar. Like can you hear the conversation? "so, have you ever been to Europe? Yes. Where? Vienna. What did you do there? Sang at the Hayden Festival."

Not going to lie, left the meeting completely OVERWHELMED! Where am I going to come up with $7000??? Yeah, she's not going by herself, I'm going too. I have 17 months to save for it, and I'll get there, but it was a bit overwhelming, my head was spinning. "maybe if I don't eat for the next 17 months" and a million other thoughts. And then. STOP. "God's 'can' can cover all my 'can'ts'. Within the hour, the answer came.

I am still completely overwhelmed. But I am overwhelmed by the opportunities God continues to give us. I am overwhelmed by His love.

Phil 4:13 I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

Monday, September 24, 2007

THE WALK!!

it's almost here.

Friday at 6:45 is opening ceremonies for The Michigan 3 day Breast Cancer walk. I can't believe it's here. I'm excited and scared all at the same time. I went crazy shopping getting this weekend buying all the rest of the stuff I needed. I was going to have shirts made until I found out that it was going to be $25 each shirt (and i needed 3) and I thought with all the money I have had to spend, that was a complete waste... so I went to Michael's, got 3 shirts $5.99 each, 3 fabric markers, and wrote the following on each shirt and had people sign them.

Loved: Romans 8:38-39
Healed: Isaiah 53:5
Hope: Romans 5:1-5

I'm nervous. But this I know, there won't be a step I take that isn't prayed for, and God will be walking each step with me. And if it rains (which pray it won't) it's tears from heaven from a mom that I hope is proud of me. I can't tell you enough how much all the love and support means. I was listening to the Alive band play "inside out" last night, there is one part of the song (check the bolded part below that hit me, when I started this, my whole goal was to bring honor to the decision that God made to bring my mom home. And I do that now, I praise Him! And though I still don't like it, I praise Him for all His decisions, even that one. I praise Him for all He's brought me to, and through. I praise Him for the woman I am today, because without Him in my heart, I suck.

So remember, today, and always, you are loved.

Romans 8:38-39 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord

You are always healed, (Arlene, that means YOU!)
Isaiah 53: 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions,
He was bruised for our iniquities;
The chastisement for our peace was upon Him,
And by His stripes we are healed.

You always have hope

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have[a] peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; 4 and perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

God is good.



Inside Out - Hillsong
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise

Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out


Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise

From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

Saturday, September 22, 2007

Things to bought at Fruit market:

1. 11 pounds of apples for applesauce
2. Carrots & onions for Italian Wedding Soup
3. Tomatoes & Cukes for Salad
4. Lunch meat for, well, lunches
5. Marble rye bread for egg salad
6. Hummous & Tabbouli for eating
7. Onions for Chicky Pot Pie
8. Peaches for snacking
9. Cauliflower because I love it
10. Chocolate Chips for Cookies

This time next week, I'll be well on my way into 60 miles for the fight against breast cancer and the hope of a cure!

Friday, September 21, 2007

Lots of stuff

I ran yesterday. just around the block, but it's the beginning. I ran. I am pretty proud that I started, considering I had to run in the dark because we went shopping last night at Walmart because they have the cheapest work out clothes that I need for my walk.

Someone I used to work with (they were a supplier of mine), his son passed away to be with Jesus after a REALLY long, hard fight with a brain tumor. I'm sad. Please pray for the family, the little boy was 6, he has a big sister and a mommy and daddy who will need our prayers.

...the crack dealer. I consider myself to not be naive. I have lived so close to Detroit, hung out there, but somehow still protected from the dangers the streets held. I told you I have a friend who was a major drug dealer in this area. I have met people who have killed (convicted of) 27 people, and I think that's just the ones they got him on. We kept our boat when I was young next to someone who was eventually convicted of money laundering. I've met the brother of John Gotti. All of these people some of the "nicest" people I have ever met in my life.
I've gone looking for someone who relapsed in Cass Corridor because I wanted to bring him home (don't worry though, I stayed on the outskirts which are still a little scary). I've seen drug deals go down from a far with a car full of kids on our way to a Soup Kitchen in Detroit. But never in my life have I been so close to having someone to walk up to my car and going to offer to sell me crack, it even unnerved me. And they didn't because the person in the car with me told them to leave me alone "she doesn't want anything you want to sell her". And that was it, a few more choice words that I didn't hear because my windows were rolled up. I was completely aware of my surroundings, I always am. Growing up in Detroit, you learn to take nothing for granted. You learn that your awareness will keep you alive. I remember Pat wrote something about how HH has to sit facing the door, it's a cop thing. It's a survival thing. I will not, sit with my back to the door unless I know that the person I am with can assess and take care of any situation, should the need arise.

I am in constant prayer for a hedge of protection. I pray it for every day, for any "dangerous" situation that could come up at any given moment. One being the attack on my heart. The kind that pulls you from God. The kind that makes you more satan like than Christ like. The kind that makes you forget about mercy and about grace, and about love.

I have learned that a place safe in Christ is the best place to be.

Numbers 14:8-9 8 If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. 9 Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them."

Thursday, September 20, 2007

Connection/No Connection

Connection:
You may know that I have a friend in prison. Enprisoned for something he didn't do. Though, if you ask him, he will tell you that they just didn't catch him for the things he did. I won't go into all the details here, but yesterday I was driving home and it occurred to me the connection of his previous life and the destroying of lives of people I have really come to love. And how it has even tied to my life being a single mom. It was a pretty big revelation. Shocking it never occurred to me before but it may have had something to do with the crack dealer that was going to walk up to my car last. God spoke to me in a lot of ways regarding that subject, a lot about mercy and grace. It's not about a judgement, just about a new view.

No Connection:
Second, I am going to share a fear with you. I am afraid to be thin. Not spiders, not snakes, though neither of those things thrill me, but I can kill them, if they don't kill me first.

The last time I was thin (I am yo-yo), I made a lot of bad decisions, the world thought I had it all together, I looked great, was healthy, I put on a really good show. Never been sadder in my life though I did have a lot of good memories. I literally had people tripping near me to get my attention. I'm scared to go back there.

Now, this fear, totally stupid, I wasn't walking with the Lord, He may have been walking with me, but I wasn't walking with him. Yesterday I had another revelation... being thin and making bad choices ARE NOT connected. I did feel great when I was thin, I was active, even more than I am now, rarely tired. So I decided yesterday, with a little nudging from some angels around me, it's time to get back to it. There's no connection to my wrong choices and being thin, and physically I feel better thin. I didn't walk with God, I didn't run with God, and I certainly didn't make God-honoring choices. Now, I want to live a life that brings Glory to all He does, and mostly for who He is. So ask me how it's going. I did lose about 20 pounds this summer but I got about another 50 to go. There's more to this story... and we'll go there another day.

Col 2:28-23 18Do not let anyone who delights in false humility and the worship of angels disqualify you for the prize. Such a person goes into great detail about what he has seen, and his unspiritual mind puffs him up with idle notions. 19He has lost connection with the Head, from whom the whole body, supported and held together by its ligaments and sinews, grows as God causes it to grow.
20Since you died with Christ to the basic principles of this world, why, as though you still belonged to it, do you submit to its rules: 21"Do not handle! Do not taste! Do not touch!"? 22These are all destined to perish with use, because they are based on human commands and teachings. 23Such regulations indeed have an appearance of wisdom, with their self-imposed worship, their false humility and their harsh treatment of the body, but they lack any value in restraining sensual indulgence.


Wednesday, September 19, 2007


Isaiah 53:5
But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed
For all those who need healing, especially Arlene

what will she be?

My daughter doesn’t really know what she wants to be when she grows up. Funny thing, huh?

I always wanted to be a teacher. My family wanted me to be a nurse, so much so that they tried bribing me with a car. Nope. Not good if you puke on your patients, literally, I gag when people talk about medical procedures, but maybe I could have been a poop doctor because I always seem to be talking about poop.

I don’t know how I ended up a sales person. Maybe out of survival, maybe out of drive, but maybe, just maybe, God had a plan. Just maybe. :) I often look to the skies and wonder, how on earth, did I end up here? I am good at my job and my crazy gift for organizing really pays off here. I am good with people, they think I trust them more than I really do. There are just a few people that I trust completely. That’s just the way I roll.

I decided that I was going to have her take some aptitude tests to figure out what she’d be good at using her gifts. She’s only 4 years away from college… it will help if she has some direction. I even looked into CCS (Center for Creative Studies in Detroit) for her. Gotta be prepared, you know…

I wanted to see how good those aptitude tests really were, so I decided to take one and see how it came out, to see what I should be when I grow up. I should be an Entrepreneur. I am the perfect balance between right brain and left brain thinking… ha! My creativeness is balanced with organization and logical thinking but not too much logical thinking that it suffocates me. How about that? I can deal with all kinds of people because I understand how they think… and can adjust accordingly. hmmm…

It was a fun thing, but I have always wanted to own my own resturaunt and some day I believe I will. But not in my time. A few people have tried to discourage me but if/when the time is right it will happen.

What do I think Phyllis will be when she grows up?

Exactly what God wants her to be.

Psalm 20:4 May he give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Moving Towards the Goal


Phil 3:12-14 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.


I woke up to a song today. History by Matthew West. God tends to find a lot of different ways to speak to me. Music is a big one, I've always been a huge fan of music, if you've been to my house, you know that.

I drove by a sign today at Southland Mall, Nikki Sixx from Motley Crew will be there signing their new album. I know, I know, you need to take the day off, go visit him. Yeah Yeah, and some of you are saying Nikki who? what did SHE do. It's a guy. Long Haired Hippy Guy. Totally thought they were great when I was a kid. Did you know that Nikki Sixx overdosed a lot (I don't know how many times) on heroine. He's been "brought back". I don' t know why, but I thought, hmmm... God must have big plans for him, he just hasn't answered the call yet. I wonder who will be the one who plants the seed in Nikki's heart and then may or may not see it bloom.

I should have been dead myself. I got in a huge car accident once. Well, more than once, but when I had my ZX2 I t-boned a semi truck, spun around on 94, the truck driver said that if I would have been one inch either way from the axle, I would have probably gone under the truck. I remember thinking, "i'm about to die". Only to hop out of my car with a piece of glass stuck in my hand, and somehow my shoes came off. And I had them on, that time. I remember distinctively thinking "God isn't done with me yet" and I wasn't even saved then.

I look at people and I see their potential. I see all the great things God has done, the gifts He has given them, and the work He continues to do, and I think, "I serve a Mighty God". He takes wretches, and He makes them beautiful. All we have to do is move in His light.

I was looking for the History song, and I thought it was by Switchfoot, so I came across 'I dare you to move'. Both songs have parts in them about leaving the past behind. "leave it all behind you" (History) & 'Like today never happened' (Dare). What's behind you isn't nearly as important as what's ahead of you. Except when you use it to glorify God.

I am having a hard time letting go of something, I know God did, but I am the dope who keeps reminding myself of how stupid I was. I know that God wants me to let go of it, and I think He's speaking in a lot of ways to get it to stop paralyzing me. I can't move if I am paralyzed, I can't move for Him.

What's ahead of you? I can't even describe it, partly because I don't know. It's a life that maybe won't be easy, but it's full of grace and love... all you gotta do is move...


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History - Matthew West

It's been a bad day

You've been looking back

And all you can see is everything you wish you could take back

All your mistakes

A world of regrets

All of those moments you would rather forget

I know it's hard to believe

Let me refresh your memory

[Chorus]Yesterday is history

And history is miles away

So, leave it all behind you

But let it always remind you of the day

The day that love made history

You know you can't stay right where you fell

The hardest part is forgiving yourself

But let's take a walk into today

And don't let your past get in the way

Would you believe that you are history in the making, in the making?

Every choice that you are making

Every step that you are taking

Every chain that you are breaking

History is in the making

Every word that you are saying

Every prayer that you are praying

Every chain that you are breaking

History is in the making

History is in the making

History is in the making


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Dare You to Move - SwitchFoot

Welcome to the planet
Welcome to existance
Everyones here,everyones here

Everybodys watching you now
Everybody waits for you now
What happens next? What happens next?

I dare you to move,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to move
Like today never happened,
today never happened before...

Welcome to the fall out,
Welcome to existance,
Redemption is here, redemption is here,
Between who you are and who you could be,
Between how it is and how it should be

I dare you to move,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to move
Like today never happened,
today never happened...

Maybe redemption has stories to tell,
Maybe forgivness is right where you fell,
Where can you run to escape from yourself
Where are you gonna go? Where are you gonna go?
Salvation is here...

I dare you to move,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to lift yourself up off the floor,
I dare you to move,
I dare you to move
Like today never happened,
today never happened, today never happened,
today never happened before

Monday, September 17, 2007

Inside Out

Decided to go with a much tamer post this morning... lol...

It was quite a weekend, I got to spend it with some beautiful young ladies who kept me up until 2AM on Friday after the Alive hangout, they let me make the breakfast and we went and volunteered in the kitchen. We made French Toast Casserole for them, it was so fun to work with the girls and then we made t-shirts and read a story to some of the kids!!

There is a scripture that keeps going over and over in my head...

Romans 8:38-39 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Maybe it's because I struggle so much with grace. I understand the concept, but how, oh, how, does God love me that much? I'm a wretch. Does it blow you away too?



Inside Out - Hillsong
A thousand times I've failed
Still Your mercy remains
And should I stumble again
I'm caught in Your grace
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame
And the cry of my heart
Is to bring You praise
From the inside out
Lord my soul cries out

You can read it again...
Romans 8:38-39 38For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,[a] neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Friday, September 14, 2007

my cup and my mouth runneth over


You can go see Sara's post about talking... This one more time proves we are sisters... If you want a nice post, go see her, or look below... but I gotta rant...

I don't think I have said a bad word about President Bush, I very rarely say anything bad about him, i might not like what he does but I don't want to be the president of the United States... Here's my thing, I would like to be governor, and to be quite honest, I think I could do a better job than our current governor. I just read an article that says we will be $2 BILLION in the whole by March based on our current budget. FOR CRYING OUT LOUD! what are we spending our money on? Does that scare you????

We don't spend it on our kids, except for the teacher's unions and big fat pensions.... and no accountability for them. Have you seen the list of school supplies parents are expected to purchase. Teacher's need to take a pay cut like everyone else...

We don't spend it on Foster Care for those less fortunate kids out there with no parents, I heard that a Foster Child is 5 times more likely to be killed by a Foster parent than if the state just left them in their home by the parents. I don't know if it's true... but yikes... even if it's only 2 times.

We don't take care of the mentally ill, quite a few years back, that was a big budget cut. Ask Sara, they all visit her.

We certainly don't take care of our roads... I saw a pothole so big one time my car almost got swallowed by it, and that is a TRUE story.

We don't spend it on keeping jobs in Michigan. Hello, if no one buys anything, there's no sales tax...

Now, let me say this... I am no politician. I will say what I think, and do what I say. I've eaten Macaroni and Cheese & corn for A WEEK, gone to bed hungry so my daughter would have. That's just the way it goes sometimes. I believe in Jesus, but I believe that if someone wants to worship some other God, that's your choice, I can't guarentee where you'll end up, but have at it. I don't beleive abortion should be illegal (yeah, I know, it's not a popular belief among Christians but you can email me and I will give you the reason), and I think that we should take care of our own before we go out and help someone else.

I am saying, get someone in their who knows how much things cost, and if it's necessary to watch how much we spend on TVs, hammers, water, pop, and any other necessity the state has out there, hire a couple mom's who can tell you how much Peanut Butter is at any store, how much Toilet Paper is, who know the value in their family working, and get it done.

I will tell you, put me in charge of that budget, and I guarentee at my current salary, I will save 10 times, maybe 100 times my salary in budget cuts. Or I'll eat a worm!

Victory

This is for you Arlene. Phyllis and I are praying for you! We love you!!



I got ,got the victory
I got the sweet ,sweet victory in Jesus yes I do He is a mighty conqueror
In him I will trust all my battle's He'll fight
I got ,got the victory I got the sweet ,sweet victory in Jesus
for me He died but He rose on the third day that's why
I have true victory everyday

Verse 1:
Truly I been through the storm and rain
I know everything about heartache and pain
But God carried me through it all
Without His protection I'd surely fall
I been broke without a dime to my name
but all my bills got paid 'cause I called on Jesus name
You can't tell me that God isn't real 'cause
I got the victory and that's why I'm still here

Chorus

I'm not worried 'bout material things I don't have
I just rest 'cause I'm sure in my savior's care
'cause I know that my blessing is on the way
I can't see it right now but I stand by faith
I fought many ,many battle's in His name
I held up the bloodstained banner and proclaim
that Jesus is the Truth and the Light
believe it when I say He will make it alright

Bridge
Yeah I got the victory ,yeah I got the victory yeah ,yeah ,yeah
(And if you have the victory sing along with me)
Yeah I got the victory ,yeah I got the victory yeah ,yeah ,yeah
(Over all of the trials,hey yeah,sing it with me I got the victory)

Church


In order to get "church" sometimes its necessary for me to go to another church. That sounds nuts I know. There is always something that needs to be done, and if I am there, I am worrying about it. But once a month, I go to another church where nothing but listening is expected from me. At first, I felt really guilty about this. I have no intentions of leaving "my" church. I love it there, it's home. If you've never experienced church being your home I can't tell you, but if you have, I don't need to.

I love my home, but, I need to leave sometimes. I need to eat somewhere else, I need to relax somewhere else.

One thing I do not compromise is the Word Of God. I would never go to a church where the Word of God doesn't run rampant. I would never go anywhere, including my home church, that I couldn't feel God move.

This is my Sunday "away". Which only means that I won't be in my church in the morning, I will be there for Alive though. And the great thing about that is I get double duty in hearing the Word of God.

I hope that this weekend, God leads you to a place where His Word is spoken so loudly that He resonates your whole being.

Col 3:16 Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God.

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Rhonda Hart - Information


I know a lot of people loved Rhonda Hart. Her testimony was taped at a church and if you would like to purchase it on DVD it is available at http://www.gracecentersofhope.org/


It's $20, the money will be used to purchase a home for children at Grace Centers of Hope in honor of her. You can pay by cash, check, or charge. I go there every week if you would like me to pick one up for you.


You will be blessed by it.

Dreaming


When I was a young girl I always wanted a family. A big one, brothers and sisters, dad & A MOM! Now we all know that didn't happen. BUT it's about to happen. A little over a year ago my dad met the greatest woman, Cheryl. She has 2 boys, both married, 4 grandkids, Aaron and Abby belong to Tom & Jennifer; Noah & Nathan belong to Scott & Angie. I was talking to my friend at lunch yesterday. We were talking about all the things I've prayed for in the last 6 months that have all been answered the way I wanted. One of those things was that 3 people at work who are really negative will be moving on to great positions for them! They are negative and I kind of wanted them out of my space :) Lo & BEHOLD there they go :). God is good to all of us.

She asked me what I've been praying for lately. A couple of things immediatly come to mind, Herb (had a relapse), Arlene, Phyllis & School, and my "new" family. I told her that I was worried that I wouldn't fit in. She said "what are you worried about, this is the family you've always dreamed of". Hmmm...

Then I was standing (well, I was sitting) and someone was reading part of a book to me and it basically said that God gives us dreams , and He fulfills those dreams to show us how much He loves us. Do you think I made it without crying? Yeah right.

To think a dream that I dreamt years and years ago is being fulfilled. In God's time, not mine. I'm so blessed.

Esther 8:16 ...it was a time of happiness and joy, gladness and honor

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Isaiah 53:5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.



This is one of my favorite songs, it’s worship Wednesday. So here we go… When I think of this song, I don’t think of “one generation” because I think that we need all the generations to do what we need to do for God. I think that we can learn from past generations, and past generations can learn for the ‘millenials” today. I think that we all have so much to learn from each other. I can tell you that this ‘whole thing’ with Arlene has brought me to my knees on more than one occasion, it’s brought tears to the eyes of a 14 year old beauty who doesn’t quite get it all. “why mom?” The only answer I could say is “I don’t know”. Because I can’t make up an answer, because it would be lying and she’d see right through it.

I think of the one part in the song that says “we will defy all that holds us back from you” that’s probably my favorite part of the song. Partly because that’s the hardest part of the song for me to grasp (leave it all behind- I’m human, ok) and partly because its’ my favorite part that the kids SCREAM during worship. This part also makes me think of Arlene. It reminds me when she and Barry hold fast to their faith, they don’t let the world tell them the answers, they know the answer, she’s healed. By the blood of Jesus Christ, by His stripes she’s healed. Amen, Hallejuh, Praise God, she’s healed.

Let me just say this, God isn’t going to bring her home yet, I still have a lot to learn from her.

Matthew 17:20 …I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

One generation,
Living salvation,
Here we go,

Seeing revival,
We will defy all that holds us back from you,

So we'll rise together,
And with one voice we sing,

Jesus is our Saviour,
There will be no other,
We will shout it out,
We want the world to know

One generation,
Living salvation,
We live for you,

Seeing revival,
We will defy all that holds us back from you,

So we'll rise together,
With one voice we sing,
Jesus is our Saviour,
There will be no other,
We will shout it out,
We want the world to know,
Jesus is our Saviour,
There will be no other,
We will shout it out,
We want the world to know,


This is the generation,
We live devoted to your name,

This is the revolution,
We will not leave this world the same,

We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
We live our lives for you,
And now we say it too,
We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
We live our lives for you,
And now we say it too,
We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
Jesus is our Saviour,
There will be no other,
We will shout it out,
We want the world to know,
Jesus is our Saviour,
There will be no other,
We will shout it out,
We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
We want the world to know,
This is the revolution,

Tuesday, September 11, 2007


I remember 9-11. The big day. We were scheduled to get on a plane on 9-16-07. I am not going to lie, I was scared, I was scared about everything. I believed in God, but I didn't believe Him. Does that make sense to anyone but me? A really good friend of mine, sent me this poem. She assured me that God, in all His wisdom, makes no mistake. This poem was written in 1932 and still continues to ring true today. And it always will.

HE MAKES NO MISTAKES
My Father's way may twist and turn,
My heart may throb and ache,
But in my soul I'm glad to know,
He makes no mistakes.

My cherished plans may go astray,
My hopes may fade away,
But still I'll trust my Lord to lead,
For He doth know the way,
Though the night be dark and it may seem,
That day will never break,
I'll pin my faith, my all in Him,
He makes no mistake.

There's so much now I cannot see,
My eyesight's far too dim,
But come what may, I'll simply trust,
And leave it all to Him,
For by and by the mist will lift,
And plain it all He'll make,
Through all the way, though dark to me,
He made not one mistake.

Author A.M. Overton (1932)
I've been singing this song all morning, it's by Hillsong United, though I can't imagine anyone singing it better than Katie
Lead me to the Cross
Savior I come
Quiet my soul remember
Redemptions hill
Where Your blood was spilled
For my ransom
Everything I once held dear
I count it all as lost
Lead me to the cross
Where Your love poured out
Bring me to my knees
Lord I lay me down
Rid me of myself
I belong to YouLead me,
lead me to the cross
You were as I
Tempted and trialed
You areThe word became flesh
Bore my sin and death
Now you're risen
To your heart
To your heart
Lead me to your heart
Lead me to your heart
Biblegateway.com verse of the Day. I lift up my eyes to the hills— where does my help come from? My help comes from the LORD, the Maker of heaven and earth.”- Psalm 121:1-2

Monday, September 10, 2007

Let Go


There are things in our lives that we just need to let go of. You can see my post from yesterday. A friend that I need to leave behind, I need to let go of him. I need to take our friendship for its season that it was and let it go. I don't know what is holding me back.


I sometimes look at Phyllis and think how much she is like me and how hard it is for her to let go of things. I watch her and I see how hurt she is and how hard it is for her to let go, I wonder where she gets it from?


Holding on to things is downright painful. Because we hold on to past hurts that seem to paralyze us, they are like a cancer that fester and fester that make us crazy.


I really gotta work on this...


Phil 3:12-14 12Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. 13Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus

Saturday, September 08, 2007

For Him



And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave
Because your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone

Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
But now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face, it haunts my once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away all of the sanity in me

Chorus:
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase
When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have, all of me

I'd love to walk away
And pull myself out of the rain
But I cant leave without you
I'd love to live without
The constant fear and endless doubt
But I can't live without you

When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When youd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I've held your hand through all of these years
But you still have all, of me

Friday, September 07, 2007

Here we go!!



It's about that time! it's the time that Fuel and Alive are about to start again!! I'd be lying if i didn't say I enjoyed my time off! I did. It's a time where we could do what we wanted, we could come home on Monday nights and hang out or run around. Its been nice. But I am excited about the kids who will be redeemed by Jesus. I'm excited about the parents who will show up on Sunday's because they think we are a cult, and want to "check it out" only to be met at the door, by me, and more (way more) importantly, Jesus.

I've missed my kids. I miss their smiles, their joys, and their stories, I've missed the opportunity to sit and cry with them, or laugh until I've peed my pants. I've missed watching them worship.


About 2 months ago, I stood on the very top mountain of God. Whew, was the view breathtaking. I can't tell you how I got there, but I was there. I had more joy in my heart than I have ever known. Funny thing, me, being me, thought "uh oh, I'm up here, and that means sooner or later, I'll be down there (meaning a valley)". What a jerk I am, I can remember thinking, what the heck, are you asking for it? Yeah, kind of I was. I love standing on the mountain of God, but sometimes I love being stretched. I love the fact that NO MATTER what I go through, I have a God who loves me more than I will ever understand. Because, let's face it, I'm a wretch, a mess, and a jerk.


About a month ago I started learning about this whole "predestination" thing. Call it Calvanism, call it whatever you want. I don't care. Also know that I will NEVER EVER EVER debate the subject with you. Ever. Get it? But here's what I have to say about the whole thing (you can also check my blog about it), by myself, I am destined for nothing, worse than nothing, I am destined for HELL!! (yes, I said it and for crying outloud, so are you! - gasp, I said it again) but with Jesus (say it loud and proud) but with Jesus, I am predestined for greatness (and that means you too!).

I'm excited that so many kids are going to hear the call of God through all the students at Alive, that the kids will hear the Word of God in relevant ways through each leader, each friend, each song, and through a Mighty Jesus Follower named Adam Dorband.

Here we go, an exciting year!! Keep us in your prayers, because the Good Lord knows, we need them!! And most importantly, we need Him!!


Col 1:24-29 24Now I rejoice in what was suffered for you, and I fill up in my flesh what is still lacking in regard to Christ's afflictions, for the sake of his body, which is the church. 25I have become its servant by the commission God gave me to present to you the word of God in its fullness— 26the mystery that has been kept hidden for ages and generations, but is now disclosed to the saints. 27To them God has chosen to make known among the Gentiles the glorious riches of this mystery, which is Christ in you, the hope of glory.
28We proclaim him, admonishing and teaching everyone with all wisdom, so that we may present everyone perfect in Christ. 29To this end I labor, struggling with all his energy, which so powerfully works in me.



Mountain of God - Third Day

Thought that I was all alone
Broken and afraid
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
And I didn’t even know
That I had lost my way
But You were there with me
Yes, You were there with me
‘Til You opened up my eyes
I never knew
That I couldn’t ever make it
Without You
Even though the journey’s long
And I know the road is hard
Well, the One who’s gone before me
He will help me carry on
After all that I’ve been through
Now I realize the truth
That I must go through the valley
To stand upon the mountain of God
As I travel on the road
That You have lead me down
You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I have need for nothing more
Oh, now that I have found
That You are here with me
Yes, You are here with me
I confess from time to time
I lose my way
But You are always there
To bring me back again
Sometimes I think of where it is I’ve come fromA
nd the things I’ve left behind
But of all I’ve had, what I possessed
Nothing can quite compare
With what’s in front of me
With what’s in front of me



Thursday, September 06, 2007

New EXCITING stuff

Phyllis loves to sing. She's in Accapella Choir this year (9th grade) which is super cool! They have the opportunity to sing with the Austrian Phil Harmonica in VIENNA in 2009!!! How cool is that?! She's also singing with the Detroit Symphony Civic Orchestra, and many other engagements this year.

Can I tell you, nothing of this world makes me happier than seeing my daughter sing/perform. She lights up like a star on stage. I know she takes great pride in practicing, making sure everything is as it should be when she performs. She's come a long way from 7th grade choir. She truly has the best teacher who has the perfect combination of clear expectations, kicking their butts when needed, and love.

It's going to be an amazing year!!

Ok, I'm getting all teary.

Pray for Phyllis, she's had a bumpy start to high school. And we don't need to buy that calculator!!

Psalm 63:5 My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods; with singing lips my mouth will praise you.

Wednesday, September 05, 2007

Reasonable School Supplies

Yesterday was my peanut-head's first day of school. I have been picking up things here and there for preparation... folders, pencils, pens, etc.

We got the list for science, I spent almost $25 in school supplies for Science. If I would have had the list in June, I probably could have spent $10, but now it's late in the game, and I have to buy it because she needs it.

But she didn't make it to Advanced Geometry because of a schedule issue (she was supposed to be in Acapella Choir, not Chorus). Come to find out, she needs $110 calculator. They have known she was in Advanced Geometry since May. They knew she would need the stupid calculator then. I didn't know. THey made us graph by hand when I had Geometry. I will tell you, this is one more thing that was not in the budget, and it was already a tight month. We chose not to eat out because we don't have the cash. We chose not to go out, because we don't have the money, we shopped at the Thrift Store, etc, because we don't have the cash.

What is reasonable when it comes to school supplies? Is $110 calculator reasonable? I understand pencils, paper, folders, compass, binders, etc.

Got an answer?

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Write a letter

If you want to write me a letter for me to receive on my Breast Cancer walk... here is the address.

It must be received by Sept 14th if you want me to get it... Must have my name on it.


3-Day Camp Post Office
PO Box 80617
Lansing, MI 48908

Unsettled

I'm not ok. Lately when people ask me how I am, I say "ok" but I'm really not.

I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I am about as connected with God as I have ever been, but somehow I have never felt more unsettled as I do now. I am not sleeping at night, and for me, that's when I know it's pretty bad. I lay down, I wake up a million times a night.

I don't know what it is, the only thing I can say is that everywhere I am, doesn't seem right. I don't know why I feel this way. Nothing is "wrong", I'm not making poor choices, actually in all aspects of my life, I think I am doing well, but I am unsettled.

I feel like God is speaking to me in a million ways, all the time, His voice, though it's not really in words is very clear. I feel like I am standing on the rock of God and someone is trying to push me off. And to be honest, it's kind of getting on my nerves.

1 Thes 3:2-5 2We sent Timothy, who is our brother and God's fellow worker[a]in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know quite well that we were destined for them. 4In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. 5For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent Timothy to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter might have tempted you and our efforts might have been useless.

So I am trying to get through this. Phyllis starts 9th grade today which is so awesome, a lot of people wish for times past, back. Not me, I am happy to be where we are.

Here is a prayer, written by Sara, I'm standing on the Word of God today, resting in His arms.

Dear Gracious Heavenly Father,
Once again we send our children out into the world. We know it's a place that won't love them like we do and won't always encourage them to love you. But Lord, greater are you in them than what they will face in the world. We ask you to place a hedge around their physical bodies and give them safety and strength. Guard their hearts from doubt, fear and emotional attacks of the enemy.
Give them wisdom and minds that always seek you in what they are being told and let them learn to compare the information they receive with your word. Give them victories that they can praise you for. Give them failures that will teach them to be humble but not break their spirits. Give them friends who love you that they can learn to serve you along side of. Give them teachers who follow you. Bless the buildings they will sit in and the people they will be with.
Father, if there is any person, adult or child, out there who might intend harm toward these precious kids; stop that plan now in the name of Jesus Christ. Put a barrier in front of that intent of destruction before it can materialize. Expose those individuals that they might be helped and saved from themselves.
Finally my Savior, I ask that you would lay a cloak of peace and joy around our children. And do a good work in us as parents that we might become worthy of this great gift you've placed in our hands.
Thank you God; for kindergartners and high schoolers and college students who will love you with their whole hearts and live lives to your glory.In Jesus name.Amen.

And if you were the jerk who made that nasty comment on my blog, you're a jerk, I'm praying for you. And... eat a worm.

Sunday, September 02, 2007

I just picked up the new Casting Crowns CD, the song on the radio is East to West. I loved it the first time I heard it.



Written by Mark Hall and Bernie Herms


Here I am, Lord, and I'm drowning in your sea of forgetfulness
The chains of yesterday surround me
I yearn for peace and rest
I don't want to end up where You found me
And it echoes in my mind, keeps me awake tonight
I know You've cast my sin as far as the east is from the west
And I stand before You now as though I've never sinned
But today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
Jesus, can You show me just how far the east is from the west'
Cause I can't bear to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
I start the day, the war begins, endless reminding of my sin
Time and time again Your truth is drowned out by the storm I'm in
Today I feel like I'm just one mistake away from You leaving me this way
I know You've washed me white, turned my darkness into light
I need Your peace to get me through, to get me through this night
I can't live by what I feel, but by the truth Your word reveals
I'm not holding on to You, but You're holding on to me
You're holding on to me
Jesus, You know just how far the east is from the west
I don't have to see the man I've been come rising up in me again
In the arms of Your mercy I find rest
'Cause You know just how far the east is from the west
From one scarred hand to the other
One scarred hand to the other
From one scarred hand to the other

Cookbooks


How does God speak to you? Yesterday He spoke to me in Cookbooks. Sounds pretty odd, but let's remember who we are talking about here... me... I'm the odd one, not Him.

I got a cookbook yesterday, you all know I love to cook. This wasn't just any ordinary cookbook, it was the ORIGINAL Betty Crocker Cookbook, I know it's amazing!!!! You have no idea how much I wanted this cookbook. My dad has one, and its tatered and some of the pages had to be laminated because it's the page that my dad uses for homemade rolls, and nut roll that he makes at Christmas. My new cookbook is in mint condition. I got it as a gift yesterday. I cannot even tell you how much the cookbook meant. It was given to me by someone who has come to mean so much to you, again I can't even tell you how much. This cookbook may look like an ordinary cookbook, but you know I love to cook for many occasions, grad parties, weddings, my love of cooking comes from long times spending with my gram and my dad cooking for holidays, and just everyday cooking. It almost sounds so stupid when I say it outloud but cooking is part of my ministry and somehow this reminds me how the steps God takes in our lives lead us to where He uses us. Even in cookbooks.