Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Friday, April 30, 2010

Menu planning

You all think I'm this great wiz in the kitchen, and I am!  HA!  However, you know what's funny? We eat out  A LOT because I just don't plan or I don't feel like cooking.  So I'm trying to do something that about that...  if you want to get somewhere, you gotta take a step.  So today, I picked out our meals, did some grocery shopping but I need to hit the local fruit market.  I was just WAY too tired tonight.

I'm making hummus for snacks, and maybe some lunches this week.

Sunday we are having spaghetti (I use my own spaghetti seasoning & tomatoes) super easy and I have all the stuff.  Thinking homemade rolls to go with and maybe some salad.  And maybe...  even... some HOMEMADE brownies, going to check out a new recipe (you know what i don't understand sometimes... I have a great recipe, but I'm gonna try a NEW one...  but I am).

I am going to make a veggie with lots of yummy stuff!  Excited about that!  Its from the Family Feasts for $75 cookbook

Thinking Chicken Cacciatore in the crock pot or Mexican Bow Tie Pasta (but I'm making with whole wheat rotini)

Spinach-cheddar Quiche (for breakfast)

That's what I have... I'm excited!  I figure that will get us through dinners and a few lunches, especially since there is only two of us!

Matthew 6:25-34 25"Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important than food, and the body more important than clothes? 26Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?



28"And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O you of little faith? 31So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' 32For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Grace upon grace upon grace upon grace


Everyday it’s a surrender. There are times when I think “I could just go back” meaning back to thr land of the dead. There are times when I think it would just be so much easier at each moment, but then I started hiding all the regrets. I think about that all the time, i can’t help just finding so much joy in that.

There are SOO many big things that God has done in my life, and you know what I sometimes get most excited about? $.50 bread or $1 peanut butter. Because God cares about the little things in our lives. And you can ask Katie how excited I get about the bread… its ridiculous and funny and great at the same time.

I think about what my life was when I was 19/20, I think about where I came from. I think about 15 years ago, I worked 4 jobs. That’s right, four jobs, none of them paying much, and all of them not adding up to me even making it on my own. And did I mention, I went to school (college) too. And I’ll tell you, sometimes it frustrates me when people don’t work for things and they just expect everyone else to take care of them. MAKES ME CRAZY! There are some things you’ll never earn, but there are quite a few times when I want to say EARN IT!

My heart seems to be exploding, last week that was not the case. I struggled through last week. Sometimes I had to ‘fake it til I make it’ and sometimes I just broke down in tears, all the while I was seeking God (and that’s the thing about faking it til you make it, all the while when you’re smiling, your bible should be open, you should be praying like crazy, listening to worship music, I think that we, as Christians, forget to mention that to new believers). Sometimes saying “I know Your goodness, but I’m struggling and I just need to hide under Your wings”.

Isaiah 40:31 but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint
.

And that’s the coolest thing about knowing God’s Word, you can use it when you’re struggling. Its truth. And when you’re thirsty, it quenches like nothing else. And by no means would I say I’m a biblical scholar, I just know what I know, and I keep learning, and He keeps revealing!

Even though I follow Jesus, my life is not easy, but its mostly difficult when my focus is on me and not on Him. Its amazing to me that He loves me, that He allows me to love Him, and allows me to love others.

Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon Grace upon grace…

John 1:16 ESV And from his fullness we have all received, grace upon grace.

Eph 6:24 May God’s grace be eternally upon all who love our Lord Jesus Christ

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Hummus

Got this recipe from Family Feast under $75! Seriously, GREAT BOOK! Pick it up on Amazon!

1 15oz can chickpeas, rinsed and drained
1 T sesame oil
2 to 3T olive oil
1/4 c lemon juice
3 cloves of garlic (you could use just two)
1 t cumin (this scared me a little, but good!!)
1/2 t salt
1/4 pepper

Combine all ingredients in a food processor or blender, process until smooth. If mixture is too thick, add a little water to preferred consistancy. Serve at room temperature. Store in fridge for 1 week in sealed container.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

THis is an unpaid political announcement.

So the Governor of Michigan visited Wyandotte Roosevelt High School. And Phyllis sang for her with her a cappella choir. It’s a good thing I didn’t know until after it was over. Because I would have told Phyllis’s teacher that I forbid her to sing.

The woman who steals from our children came to the school that is the lowest paid in the state per child because they have instituted an Algebra 2 class or something without it being state mandated.

How can she have the nerve?!?

Rarely do I go all political on here, but seriously?! And I wonder how many of those teachers asked her about the budget cuts she’s made, while they feel it necessary to talk to the students about it. And how about talking to her about the REAL affects its making on the students. One student did. I wasn’t there, however, I got it from a reliable source that he did tell her that most of the students in the top 10 of their class are in the music department. Oh, and BTW, the next time there are budget cuts, the music departments may go.

Seriously, I’d like to meet with her. I’d take the day off, burn a vacation day and ask her what she’s thinking. I’d like to know how it is that the lottery money was supposed to pay for schools is still being collected however, the school budgets are being cut. And why every school doesn’t get the same amount per child.

Ok, I don’t feel better, but I’d like to meet her. And ask her.

The children are our future, if we don’t protect them, who will?!?

Numbers 32:17 But we are ready to arm ourselves and go ahead of the Israelites until we have brought them to their place. Meanwhile our women and children will live in fortified cities, for protection from the inhabitants of the land.

My Famous Chicken Alfredo

Olive Oil
1 garlic clove
1 8oz cream cheese
2 chicken breasts, cooked and cut up
1 box of your favorite noodle (ours is rotini)
chicken broth

Cook noodles

While noodles are cooking:

saute garlic in olive oil, add cream cheese until melty, add chicken broth til your desired consistancy, add chicken, heat through (5-10 minutes)

Mix sauce and noodles together

Enjoy with your favorite garlic bread and salad

and then wonder why you don't make this more often!

Monday, April 26, 2010

Weaving love

So it’s a crazy thing. I was totally in meltdown mode yesterday, I think the only thing holding me together was Arlene’s tacky glue, ok really it was Jesus.

Praying last night about prayer cards written on the hi-tech 3X5 cards last night, I was thinking about how good God is, about the pain that was written on some of those cards, and how God has the power to heal that. How nothing is too short for him.

When I feel like I was, I wonder why. I want to know what is so deep rooted in me that I am struggling. Whatever it is, I want to know, I want to address it, and I want to move on. For me, I will go ‘round the same mountain until I lick it, so I better lick it, because its tiring going round and round unless you’re on a beautiful carousel. And I’m not on a beautiful carousel.

It’s almost Mother’s Day. I love and hate Mother’s Day in the same breath. I love it because I have the bestest daughter in the whole world, and I have a bunch of children that God has put in my life. And I hate Mother’s Day because my mom died. I walked in the 3-day breast cancer walk to bring honor to her death, to bring honor to her. It was not just a walk for me, it was a journey, which is accompanied by a scrapbook for rememberence.

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose Romans 8:28

Dear satan, you can’t beat me. You can’t make me feel so lonely that in this time that I will come back to your selfish ways, to the pain that I felt before, you can’t distract me from loving. You can make it difficult for me, but you can’t win, its not possible.

This last week or so, I’ve felt like even with people around me, I’m on an island, and I’ve been struggling. How easy I’ve thought it would be to go back for a moment to be surrounded by people who at least for a minute made me feel loved, though that love is fleeting.

Last week marks the 36th anniversary of my mom’s death. It doesn’t seem to get any easier. But her life meant something. Her life was lived, however short on this earth, as a life of love.

I was talking to one of the prettiest people I know (on the inside and outside) about being a mom. I don’t really have any preconceived notions of what a mom should be, sure, I have shining (and not so shining) examples of motherhood but day to day, I’m on my own to figure it out. And all I can say is ‘by the grace of God go I’. All I know that is that I need to love, everyday, I think the rest just kind of falls into place.

I always wanted a lot of children, well, a lot by today’s standards. 6. How do you balance all that? I can’t even imagine. I think you just love the best you can, and leave the rest to God. However, I have one, which really is perfect for me, but I have so many other students that I feel so deeply for, that I love so much, so BIG, that if they only knew how they bombard my heart, how I can take one look at them and know they need a hug or prayer or how I love to celebrate them and their achievements. How I worry about the resources for clothing, for Mission Trips, and Cedar Point, and all that. How I sometimes wear God out with my prayers (I know I can’t really do that).

I guess I say all this because I don’t need a nomination to ‘women who make magic’ because I’d rather be a ‘woman who weaves love’. How I want my life to be the needles that crochet love into hearts. How I want to show the love of Christ to plant seeds and water them. Maybe never seeing the fruits this side of heaven, though I’d be lying if I didn’t want to see it.

You see, in all that loneliness, I didn’t know what to do but cry and seek God. And I cried Jesus tears, those kind that when all the garbage of our lives is released, Jesus fills those spots.


Psalm 63:3-6a 3 But let the godly rejoice.
Let them be glad in God’s presence.
Let them be filled with joy.
4 Sing praises to God and to his name!
Sing loud praises to him who rides the clouds.
His name is the Lord—
rejoice in his presence!
5 Father to the fatherless, defender of widows—
this is God, whose dwelling is holy.
6 God places the lonely in families;
he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

love language

I need to take that love language thing because I know how I GIVE love but I don't know how to recieve it. Today I just had a melt down, I sassed someone I never sass, and finally I just broke down. I lost it trying to figure out which lights I needed on and which ones off. Then the computer was acting completely ridiculous!

You know everyone tells me how great they think I am and somehow I just don't believe them. I feel like they SAY it but they don't SHOW it.

I have this weird fascination about dying (I also have a weird fascination with being a mafia wife, but we will leave that for another day). I don't ever want to leave something unsaid for someone's funeral. The bible says that we are supposed to encourage each other, and I think what's the point of waiting until someone is dead to tell someone THEY loved how great they are.

There is this contest (I almost said stupid but its not stupid) by Magic called 'woman who make magic' and I've actually written about people i know and love and nominated them although they didn't win. And I KNOW that I shouldn't want to be nominated but I DO! Not really for me, but because I want to know my life counted for something for LOVE that somehow I mattered in the life of someone, that they knew I loved them in the simplest or biggest of ways. I know dumb, but I tell you, I think it would be so cool to know that I mattered, that my life mattered.

Luke 9:48 (msg) Your spirit, not your size, makes the difference."

Saturday, April 24, 2010

What IS the deal?

I don't know what the deal is, though I am quite sure that God has something going on with me.

I feel at home NO WHERE. Not at church, not out, not with family(with the exception of Phyllis, she always feels like home). 

I was walking out of weight watchers alone and thinking this is not what I signed up for.  But I am on the road to weightloss and so whether I walk by myself or with others doesn't matter, it just means that I walk and I continue, its not the first thing I did by myself and it won't be the last.

I was struggling last week about phyllis and college.  Oh boy.  The schools she wants to go to are $21-26K a year. I was talking to someone, kind of venting and they said "now that you've vented do you feel better?" and I was like "really, who else do i have to talk to about this stuff, I have no one".  What an alarming fact that was.  But that's how I feel. I feel like I made these choices and I trudge on alone.  So that's what I do.  Again, its not the first thing I've done alone and it won't be the last.

I feel like the place that should be most like my family, isn't. Its the place where I spend the most time, try and give the most love, and to be honest, a lot of times it feels like it comes back void.  I feel like I walk around alone, I may have a few people that listen, but I keep saying "i feel so alone" and all they do is listen, I don't feel like any of them make an effort to change the fact that I just don't feel loved, that I feel left out.  And so like I said before, its not the first thing I've done feeling alone, and it won't be the last.

Josh 1:9 9 Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

The good thing about when you don't feel like you have anyone, and you have a relationship with Jesus, He's a good one to turn to.  His Spirit is comforting, His Word is true, and you're never really alone.

Matthew 28:20 20and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."



More than anything – Hillsong United

You knew us from the start
Our every moment
Though we fell apart
You chose to love us
Never letting go
You sent Your Son for us

VERSE 2
He came into the world
With one desire
To lead us from our sin
Remove our failures
So we could meet with You
You know ourselves as Yours

PRE CHORUS
In a world that tries to
Find a way in itself
Searching high and low
Looking for a meaning
We will hold to what we
Know is truth know is love
Life is found when we give
Ourselves all to You, Lord

CHORUS
Give it all give it all
To the One who's Life
Give it all give it all
To the One who's Life
Give it all give it all
To the One whose life
Saved mine

VERSE 3
Our future in Your hands
Our lives with purpose
Sins now erased
Our past behind us
Never looking back
We know ourselves as Yours

BRIDGE
This we know we have a new life
We are Yours now and forever
In this life all that we seek
To be with You more than anything

Friday, April 23, 2010

week in review

This week was crazy like every other week...  as always random thoughts from this week...

Thank you for texting me and saying 'good morning beautiful' I was feeling a lot less than beautiful, and you really were Jesus to me in a real way this morning

spring awakening was great, spending time with Phyllis so much better!

Crazy logic does not work on me, because logic can't be crazy...

I can't believe the lilac bush is so big and already blooming

garden or no garden

i wish you understood how unimportant you make me feel

why can't our house stay clean

am i really going to try to make homemade biscuits, I must be nuts

FROSTING FROSTING $.49 FROSTING FROSTING!!!!!

i wish i could just paint this joint myself, this is way too overwhelming and making me feel like a failure

i feel like the only reason they say i'm great is because i do stuff for them, and them not even noticing i was in the room was just wonderful

fruit of the spirit

i know why people don't like church (when I say this, I don't mean mine, I mean in general)

disappointed that you didn't do the prayer labrinth

coupons coupons coupons

i wish i could just cry all this pain away and let Jesus repair this hurt, i can... just gotta let go

i think i'm crazy

my faith is in You

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Prayer

I feel like when things seem really great, God is about to wreck me.  And so it goes...

Yesterday my dear friend went into surgery for a biopsy only for the doctors to find out that it wasn't a tumor after all.  And I said something to the affect like satan said "i might as well go home, i can't shake her, besides, her friends are sending up prayers on her behalf" and moved on.

And I thought "what if everytime there was a need we prayed like that".  Everytime there was a friend, a family member, someone with a cold (because if you're wore out its difficult to advance, especially toting a box of tissues) we just instantly sent up prayers.  What if when we didn't see someone for a while, whether its our family, someone in our church, our life group, we PRAYED.  Heartfelt, prayers.  "God its not ok down here, we need You" prayers.

What if?

I feel like I'm praying a lot.  Would I say I am praying unceasingly?  Probably not.

Yesterday I left a meeting.  Upset.  Again leaving this one place feeling like I don't matter.  And it was the 3rd time I felt that way in two hours by the same people.  And was angry.  So I left, I wanted to yell and get mad, I started to and I just said "you know what?  I need to shut up" and I left because in my head I thought "it doesn't matter because I don't matter".  And I prayed.  There was nothing else I could do.  I had a choice I guess, I could have told people off, but that's not a good one.  But prayer.  Good choice. 

I prayed for my girls and my students
I prayed that I wouldn't feel so alone
I prayed that people would be respectful of other's time, and I prayed that I would have grace when they aren't.
I prayed for the people I know that are sick
for the awesome person who text me last night
I prayed that the Word of God would resonate in my heart and my head
I prayed for myself more than I usually do
And a whole lot more
And lastly, I fell asleep praying that the unedited version of our lives would be pleasing to God.  Because right now, I don't think it is.

Col 1:9 For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Giving gifts

What do you need?

Not one of those “I need a new TV” need but what do you really need?

What do your friends and family need? Some really need, but not all. Would they notice if you spent $5 less on their birthday present and you donated $5 to:

BloodWaterMission in celebration of them so that 5 Africans can have clean water for a year? Or how about donating to Grace Centers of Hope in our own backyard
Soles for Souls (every $1 provides 1 pair of shoes)
Your favorite soup kitchen/food pantry
To someone going on a mission trip (MetroSouthChurch has Detroit, Colombia, and Haiti Mission Trips)


Next time you’re about to buy a gift, please consider helping someone or an organization that really meets the needs to others.

Matt 25:31-46 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, he will sit on his throne in heavenly glory. 32All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate the people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats. 33He will put the sheep on his right and the goats on his left.
34"Then the King will say to those on his right, 'Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, 36I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.'
37"Then the righteous will answer him, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? 38When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? 39When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?'
40"The King will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'
41"Then he will say to those on his left, 'Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. 42For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.'
44"They also will answer, 'Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?'
45"He will reply, 'I tell you the truth, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.'
46"Then they will go away to eternal punishment, but the righteous to eternal life."

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

oh boy... why can't I trust!

Ok, so I'm sitting in the kitchen and I'm about to lose my mind. My heart is breaking.

"just because we're forgiven doesn't mean there isn't consequences"

My daughter wants to go away to college. And I can't afford it because of the choices I've made.

I live in one of those 'catch 22' situations. I make too much for her to get free college (grants) but I don't make enough to pay for it myself. Ugh. I figured it out. If I get rid of the house, live in a $500/month apartment and no cable, i might be able to pay for her college. That is if she gets no scholarships. Now hopefully she will. College is the only thing really that we argue about, and its stupid.

"don't you trust Me".

Oh, do we have to go there today God?

I trusted Him to provide a way for her to go to that summerstudio in June, and before I asked, there was an envelope on the counter that had the answer. That's how my God works.

I gotta trust in the small stuff and the big stuff.

Praying for open doors. And we will walk right through.

I've got to just realize that His grace covers my sins. And His grace can pay for college. And His grace will lead me Home.

2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Homemade Granola

Adapted this recipe from Owlhaven she's the one who wrote the book Family Feasts for $75 a week

Total prep time: 30 minutes

Makes: 16 cups of cereal

In a very large bowl combine:

•9 c. oats
•1 T. cinnamon
•3 c. “goodies”– nuts, raisins, sunflower seeds, coconut, and dried fruit all work well. (I used raisins, almonds, and pecans)
Mix well.

In glass measuring cup pour:

•3/4 c. oil
•3/4 c. honey
Be sure to pour the oil in first. This will allow the honey to easily release from the cup. Heat oil and honey in microwave on high for a 2-4 minutes, until hot. Pour honey and oil over dry ingredients. Mix well.Spread onto 2 or 3 large greased cookie sheets and bake at 325 degrees till light to medium brown, 15-25 minutes. Cool and store in sealed plastic containers or ziplocks. It rarely lasts more than 3 days at our house. If your family doesn’t eat it that fast, you can store half in the freezer until you need it.

New Fun Opportunities!

So, I was looking at a flyer for Miss Phyllis, she was sent a flyer for The Illinois Institute of Art – Chicago. It kind of seemed out of reach at $825 for the week. It’s $375 for the program and $450 for the housing. That really does seem a lot.

And then you know what happens? I open an envelope that probably gives me the opportunity to send her. I mean, I even considered not painting my house this year, just wait until next year so that she can have the opportunity.

I was talking to the woman on the phone today, because I had a couple questions. After talking to her, I truly decided that no matter what, she should go. It’s a great opportunity and I wish I could have gone to something like this when I was young, well, if I knew what I wanted to do when I was her age. I’m excited for her, and I’m excited to see God show up and bring us the money to provide the opportunity.

That’s how it works. If she’s supposed to go, He opens the door wide open with practically a written invitation.

It’s a pretty great opportunity! This girl is going to have quite a summer… Summer Studio, Cornerstone, Colombia Mission Trip, Detroit Mission Trip!

Proverbs 4:25-26
25 Let your eyes look straight ahead,
fix your gaze directly before you.

26 Make level paths for your feet
and take only ways that are firm.

Another 'oh boy' moment

So yesterday I had this moment, and to be honest sometimes I just am glad there's no sharp objects around... lol, otherwise I might stab... myself. Not really, but I do have these moments when I could just lose it.

Yesterday was one of them.

And then... another one. Though I think this time I was the one being a jerk, but whatever.

And then... another one. and all the time I'm thinking 'God please put a cork in my mouth because I am going to FLIP out!

and then this morning, a note on milk pong... and the person was defending themselves. I don't need them to, they can do and say whatever they want, it doesn't change the fact that I think they are one of the best leaders I know. I just hate milk pong. I can, I'm allowed.

And this morning God has been saying "look at their hearts" Not the last one because I always look at his heart, but the first two. Look at their hearts. There are many times i might do the wrong thing with the right intentions, so that's how i have to look at it.

Its a crazy funny thing, I didn't realize that in all those 'oh boy' moments satan was trying to distract me. There was a student who needed me, and thankfully God just shined the light on them so that I could see, and my path was quite clear, and the coolest thing, they gave their life to Christ last night. Amazing. That never gets old. its as exciting the first time you do it! In my heart, I could feel the party going on in heaven. The rejoicing. To know that someone is going to heaven for eternity (that's a lllllooooonnnnngggggg time) but that they will have Someone to turn to in the mess (Jesus), His truth is absolute, He never leaves, His love endures forever.

Matthew 5:12 Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Sunday Truth

Almost every Sunday I make dinner for the Alive Leaders. It all started out of obedience and it continues because of obedience.

And a lot of times, that’s the absolute truth. Though there isn’t any other kind of truth besides absolute, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog. This is a true story of how it came about and how I feel about it. I’m telling this story because I feel like sometimes people see me as this huge ‘giver’ and I want you to know that I am real, and I do struggle, but I know in the end, God’s way is best.

I don’t know what meeting it was, but there was a meeting that Adam said, as Alive leaders, we need to serve the students, serve the church, and serve each other. And in my head I thought, I got 2 out of 3 but that’s not bad. And anyway, what could I do to serve them, half the time I invite them over and they don’t show up, a lot of times I don’t even think they like me. Serve them? How?

God: “feed them”
Me: “feed them?”
God: “yes, feed them”
Me: “ I don’t wanna”
God: “did I give you a choice, feed them on Sundays”
Me: “come on, don’t I do enough on Sundays, they probably won’t even appreciate it”
God: “Feed them, and anyway, its not about them, its about Me”
Me: “UGH! Ok, but You better bring me some food, there is a lot of them”

So since then, I’ve been feeding them, I occasionally don’t, and believe it or not, I ask God for permission to take a Sunday off. Sometimes I just have way too much on my plate and I can’t. But I always give it much consideration when I don’t.

Sometimes I love it, most weeks I love it. I love feeding people. I love when I make meatballs and noodles or rice because everyone is super happy. I love it when something turns out super good from ordinary stuff. One time I had chicken, green beans, potatoes (I thought it was SO good, and there was none left), and sometimes I make this chicken dip stuff with tortilla chips, I think they would like the crockpot clean if I let them. One time someone made a comment like I just throw whatever I have together and call it dinner. I said yes, that is true. And I was SO angry, I wrestled with God about doing it anymore because I said “See, he’s not even grateful”. God said, “its not about him, its about Me”. UGH! When I’m scrubbing my crockpot because no one ever offers to wash it, it makes me sad. And I’m not saying that because I want them to (but it would be nice), it makes me sad because they never offer and it doesn’t occur to serve that way.

Sometimes I know that if I didn’t cook, they wouldn’t eat, and its apparent when they have to run to McDonalds for dollar menu because I couldn’t cook. People have thanked me saying that they wouldn’t eat if I didn’t cook, and that makes me happy. Not going to lie, sometimes it feels good to be Jesus with a few fish and a couple loaves of bread.

This week was hard to cook, which is why there is this blog. Its “sketti mac”. Because its macaroni, spaghetti sauce, hamburger, and cheddar cheese. I made caeser salad, and strawberry pretzel jello. 90% of these ingredients I already had at home, that is what God provided. When I make meals like this, I think of that person who made that comment, and all I can say is that is what God gave me to make, and so that is what we have. Waste not want not. I will feed about 20-30 or so people and it cost about $5 today. When I serve them, I am serving Him.

I love the people I serve with, and I am glad to feed them, and serve them, because I know that God is using me, even if sometimes we have a wrestling match inside. I know that sometimes we have to be obedient, because after all, it is not about us, it truly is about Him. We love, because He loved us first. (1 John 4:19)

Luke 9:13 He replied, "You give them something to eat."

Friday, April 16, 2010

A week in review

I find myself with a million things running around in my mind… and so let this be a week in a review…

I love the Colombia team so much so that I cooked twenty pounds of ground beef for them. I don’t think I’ve cooked 20 pounds of ground beef in two years, I always use ground turkey. Ground beef smells. I am cutting cantelope, oranges, cheese, papaya tonight, which is good for them for breakfast. Looking forward to seeing them tomorrow morning. I love being such a small part in their trip but finding a way to support them in any way I am able. Food and money tracking, its all I got… so I’ll do what I can do.

I went to weight watchers and weighed in for the first time in awhile, made a lot, I mean a lot of poor choices this week, I’ve got to get on track.

Trying to decide if I want to tear up half my backyard to make it a garden, and have a silly stone making party and have “my kids” make me stones throughout the garden. A garden of food and love. I also am dying for this compost container at Sam’s Club, it’s $40 and I really want it, so I’m thinking about getting it.

I totally love my kitchen, but I wonder why I spent that money on that, was there a better investment for God?

What am doing that really matters? Am I loving enough? But in the same breath, am I loving myself enough?

Phyllis performed Wednesday, wow, how the years have gone by, one more year of school concerts. How did I ever get so blessed?

Love and logic really is the way

I’ve had a good week, thankful for His Word and being obedient and following it. Its certainly not easy to go against what I want to do, however, I sleep much better at night.

I am struggling with a certain someone, I am having a hard time remembering that she was made in God’s image too, and He loves her, and He calls me to love her. Oui. That’s a hard one.

I miss my boys… well, they are not my boys but I miss hugging and snuggling with Levi and Judah.

Luke 9 is resonating… I could study it EVERY day!!! Is that dumb??

I try to get my schedule under control, its been really crazy, part of that was due to Phyllis’s rehearsals for Brahm’s Requiem and the musical, but this week and next week is just plain busy. I’ve got the painter’s coming for estimates, we are going to see Spring Awakening, more youth stuff… Thankful to be busy, but yesterday, I barely made it to finish cooking the chorizo…

Topsy Turvy strawberry plants… I want one or ten of those… imagine your own strawberries! That makes me excited!!! Yes! I know… nerd!

So proud of Phyllis for going after her dreams and sending her ACTs to FIDM (Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising). WOW! To go after your dreams! Wish I would have done that…

Would it be weird to move to California if Phyllis really does go to school there?

How come I felt like I offended him with Jesus, when all I did was ask if he was ok? (that was almost a month ago, but see how I internalize everything?)

I love making cupcakes just so I can say “want a cupcake, Cupcake?”

I love feeding people! Morning bagels, afternoon meeting cookies.

I’m so thankful that God made me encouraging and thoughtful

I love that she wants me to cook!!

Lots of oranges, cantalopes, and papaya

Truly amazed at how God is moving in my heart.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Oh Boy...

So now whenever something happens to me or around me, I just say "oh boy" instead of going into a fit!  kind of like "oh dear" but "oh boy".  Today...  my day started off with me throwing up on my way to work.  Great, and just before I was about to throw up, I said "oh boy" pulled over, threw up and went to work. 

Oh boy.

Then I have this high level thing I have to do... and someone who is key in the process shows up late.  Ok, not gonna get mad, but seriously, we can't succeed unless we're a team. 

THEN a certain chain of events and I was standing in Qdoba (I LOVE QDOBA!!!!) and right as I was about to order, a bunch of hullabullooo and I don't get Qdoba.  I don't know if I was more upset about the Qdoba or the hullabullooo....  Oh boy.

But someone sent me a text this morning.  John 10:10

The thief comes only to steal and kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full.

Ok, seriously, I was like "UGH, I KNOW!!!!!"

So after the Qdoba fiasco (how great is your life when you call missing Qdoba a fiasco, seriously?!  I still ate!) I had something else to deal with.  The WHOLE time I'm singing in my head and humming

We are,
Living to make Your Name high Jesus
Living to make Your Name high Jesus
You!!!
Gave what the world couldn't offer us
Say what they want!! Say what they want!!!!!
We are freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee,
wwoooooaaaaaahhhhh  oooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

and the thing I had to deal with, turned out just fine. 

My joy, its mine, its mine because it really belongs to the Lord, and I belong to Him.  It amazes me that for so long I said that me swearing was a heart condition, I knew it, but until I was ready to get a heart transplant, I was a mess.  The wonder of it all!  His Word!  His Truth!!!  and I'm so glad I did the whole '60 day challenge' of no garbage music.  Think if i would have listened to some 'angry' eminem song instead of Hillsong....

I am FFFFFFFFFFFFFRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

WWWWWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Two are better than one

I’m shocked how God takes an ‘ordinary’ scenario in my life and somehow it transforms His teachings to me. Oh, the wonder of it all! Who says the Word of God is not relevant?

Yesterday I was at the Tiger Game, they were removing the tarps from the field (it had rained all morning) and there was like 10 guys/gals pushing the roundie thing to wrap up the tarp, it was going pretty well, until the wind started blowing. Uh Oh, they couldn’t roll it flat because the wind was blowing. I was watching, one of the gals on the field was watering the field (not sure why because it JUST rained, but whatever) noticed that those around her were struggling, so she put down her hose and helped those who needed help, I assume without being asked but just because they were struggling. WOW! I was thinking about how many times I do or don’t pass up the opportunity to help someone who is struggling. Or if there is a big task I think “if only someone would just help me for 10 minutes, I could get this done in ¼ of the time”. The perfect example: Sunday I needed to set something up for Alive. I needed help. I could have gotten it done by myself, however, I was so blessed that 5 or 6 people helped me. It would have taken me an hour to hour and a half, if I did it by myself, thankfully they helped me, done in 10-15 minutes. And so I was able to get more stuff done. Some people just stepped in, I didn’t even ask, and one person I asked didn’t help. Hmmmm… but thankful for those who did.

Ecc 4:1-2 1 Again I looked and saw all the oppression that was taking place under the sun:
I saw the tears of the oppressed—
and they have no comforter;
power was on the side of their oppressors—
and they have no comforter.
2 And I declared that the dead,
who had already died,
are happier than the living,
who are still alive.
3 But better than both
is he who has not yet been,
who has not seen the evil
that is done under the sun.
4 And I saw that all labor and all achievement spring from man's envy of his neighbor. This too is meaningless, a chasing after the wind.
5 The fool folds his hands
and ruins himself.
6 Better one handful with tranquillity
than two handfuls with toil
and chasing after the wind.
7 Again I saw something meaningless under the sun:
8 There was a man all alone;
he had neither son nor brother.
There was no end to his toil,
yet his eyes were not content with his wealth.
"For whom am I toiling," he asked,
"and why am I depriving myself of enjoyment?"
This too is meaningless—
a miserable business!
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:
10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!
11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
12 Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken

Tuesday, April 13, 2010

being lead

I’ve been thinking about a lot of things about how God is working on me, in me, and through me. I think some basic lessons we learn are the same, love first and always. That’s a given.

Some people do not have a temper, some do. God deals with accordingly. The ‘hot tamale’ may have to learn to chill a little, while the ‘cool cucumber’ may have to stick up for themselves a little more.

Me, I’ve got the whole ‘take in accordance my time, please’ thing going on. I’ve got a lot going on in my life, mostly because I’m organized, but even I run out of time, even though we are all allotted the same amount…

God is also working on me because we’ve all got our battles to fight, not all the same as me, and I’ve got to remember that maybe some people are trying to be better organized, and if I give a little grace and maybe a little guidance, it will help them and help me, depending on how I approach it. If I can help them, and keep my temper means that I get to take the knowledge I have and help others, and I don’t have to say I’m sorry for losing my temper.

I think that’s why my flesh and my spirit are fighting over calling out the liars. Because I want to do it, meaning my flesh, and my spirit knows that I am not equipped, yet, to do it without being offensive. So I’m praying for Holy Spirit leading in this and all situation.

Psalm 139:4 See if there is any offensive way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting

Monday, April 12, 2010

Wondering...

I stress out about everything, seriously, born-stresser!

So I've been stressing out about this...

If you know someone is lying (big and little lies) or fake...  is it a sin NOT to call them out?  I mean are you lying (and sinning) if you go along with their mess?

Its driving me crazy...  now normally, I would just call them out... but I'm struggling with this one...

And are they lying and fake because truly they are struggling, and does that mean I'm WORSE because I don't reach out... UGH!!

I wish they would just come clean, and then we could talk about it... ALL!  Lies and struggles...  until then... praying...

oh boy...  Got Questions

Exodus 20:16 16 “You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.

Banana Nut Waffles

Recipe from here

3/4 cup pecans
2 cups whole wheat white flour
1/4 cup sugar
2 teaspoons baking powder
1 teaspoon salt
2 eggs
2 cups milk
1 t lemon juice
2 very ripe bananas, mashed (about 1 cup)
4 tablespoons butter, melted
1 teaspoon vanilla

Mix milk & lemon juice, let stand 5 minutes.  (you can use 2 C buttermilk if you have it)

Chop pecans, set aside
Meanwhile, combine flour, sugar, baking powder, pecans, and salt in large bowl. Beat eggs, Add buttermilk, mashed bananas, butter, vanilla and pecans; mix well.

Make waffles!

Back to it, better choices

Loving Panera’s new menu board. I love that they show all the calories to each menu item. Its so awesome! Went there for lunch today. Talked myself into the .99 bakery item. Thankfully I got the little ticket that you can chose what you want when you’re done eating. As I was standing in the a really long line, I decided that I would just give someone in line my ticket. I didn’t need anything. They didn’t have my favorite which is the cranberry orange muffin so part of me was like ‘if I can’t have my favorite, I shouldn’t have anything” so I didn’t. I was thinking about getting the Oatmeal Raisin Cookie. 370 Calories, 14 g fat! It would have been 8 points! Not worth it! SO NOT WORTH IT!!!!

Tomorrow we are going to the Tiger Game. I have to make good choices, it will be hard to be there and not eat crap, but I’ve got to plan! Bring an apple, some veggies to snack on. I didn’t eat that good this weekend, and I also didn’t poop that good either.

Anyway, glad I got some good stuff at home. I think I’m gonna bbq some chicken or something tonight, and I’ve got some good veggies and I’ll make some homemade dressing! YUM!

I’d like a good weightloss this week. Maybe I’ll even try to get on the treadmill a couple days this week!

Being accountable on the scale, helps keep me motivated.

Milk Pong

I won't be the most popular leader with this post, but at least I'll be honest.  A bunch of kids are doing this thing they call 'milk pong'.  Funnel, tube, milk... barfing.

1.  They replaced beer with milk.  While they are not getting drunk, the action is the same.  I know that they don't get drunk, but really, what worries me is how good they would do if they did indeed replace the milk with beer.  Maybe its the over protective mom, can see the bad things happening before they do thing, not sure.

2.  Making yourself throw up is not good.  It's not good for your body.  God designed bodies that if something it can't tolarate is in it (because its bad) then it comes out one way or another, and usually with a vegenance.

3. ITS WASTEFUL! We send dollars to Africa to give people clean water but we waste milk that could be given away at soup kitchens to parents who need it.  Maybe I take this a little too personal because I can remember when we had $30 for groceries for a week.   Mac and cheese and corn, for a whole week is what we ate.  I can think of times in the last year or two when the budget was tight and I was walking around the store with a calculator because I had to watch the budget.  There are so many families who are struggling (families of people I know!), even those who have jobs, who get assistance. Its not always easy, and with the rising cost of groceries, gas, it sounds dumb but it really breaks my heart that there would be such a waste of milk.

We are called to take care of others because we are called to love others. 

John 21:16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?"

He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you."
Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep."

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Movin' the Peeps...

Phyllis and I thought it would be a cool idea if once a month, we hopped on the People Mover and got off at a different stop each month and tried a new resturaunt... These are my choices at first glance...

1.  Times Square Station - Luci & Ethel's
2.  Grand Circus Park - ?
3. Broadway - Bert's on Broadway
4.  Cadillac Center - Foran's Irish Pub
5.  Greektown - Pegasus - COMPLETE!
6.  Bricktown - Opus One
7.  Renaissance - River's Edge Grille
8. Millender Center - Anton's Breakfast & deli
9.  Financial Center - Green room salad ?
10.  Joe Louis - ?  not many choices
11.  Cobo Center - ?
12.  Fort/Cass -?
13.  Michigan - Roast

Some of those might be 'special occasion' places like 'Roast' but I think even if we only do one or two, it will be fun!  We are going to see 'Spring Awakenings' on the 20th, that should be great!

Friday, April 09, 2010

Home Projects - Be Patient!

My kitchen construction is done! Hallelujah! PRAISE THE LORD! I’ve got a few things that need t o be finished in the whole update.

Tile for the backsplash
Patch holes in the wall
Painting the house
Living Room
Dining Room
Kitchen
Hallway
Stairway

Before any of that can happen I’ve got to do some deep cleaning. My carpets need to be cleaned, walls washed, so on and so forth.

I’ve had one person come to give me an estimate for painting about 3 weeks ago, still waiting for the estimate. I’ve also got 3 more people coming to give me an estimate. There are a few things I learned from my construction project. One being that if it takes a long time to get the estimate… how long will it take for the project to be completed? And the other is daily communication about what is going to be done and how far the project will come along each day. I believe that my project could have been done within 6-7 days (working) instead of the 11 days (working) it took if I would have communicated my wishes and expectations. And I should have known because it took a little over a week to get an estimate.

Anyway, I’m excited to get this whole project done, but what scares me is that I have NO idea how much the painting is gonna cost me. I might have to save til July… But if I do this correctly, it will be worth the wait!  Besides I have to remember that its been this ugly for eight years, what's a couple more months!!

Gal 6:9 And let us not lose heart and grow weary and faint in acting nobly and doing right, for in due time and at the appointed season we shall reap, if we do not loosen and relax our courage and faint. (amp)

Thursday, April 08, 2010

The Wonder

Some of you have been Christians your whole life.  Maybe you've never known a time when you didn't know Christ, maybe you 'found' Christ, or recognized Him in your life at one point or another.

I remember the first time I ever saw someone open their bible, a Wednesday night at Bethel Baptist, I wasn't a Christian yet.  I didn't even own my own bible.  The person I sat next to, just whipped open their bible to whatever the passage was, and I was in wonder. 

I remember a time when I was in awe whenever someone would rattle off a verse like it was the ABCs.  I remember thinking 'I want to be like that'. 

There are some scriptures that I can rattle off like my ABCs now. I don't even think 'WOW!  I can't believe I can do that" but I should.  I do a lot of odd things to help me remember scripture, I tape it to my cabinets in my kitchen so I can read it while I make 'whatever' I have some taped to my bathroom mirror, some taped to my computer, on my white board.  I read it, I listen to it, I write it.  God sometimes works a scripture into me so that it becomes like the only language I can speak is His.

When something is important to you, you learn it, you fine tune your craft.  Take for example Mrs. Mac or Sara, its important to  them that wholesome food goes into their family.  They believe that homemade is best made.  They work at it, new recipes, experimenting.  All working to perfect their craft.

There are a lot of things I know.  I know that I mess things up a lot.  I also know that truth is absolute.  I also know that only one thing is absolute truth, God and His Word.  I know that while I might have a hard time dealing with something that's in the bible because it means I have to surrender myself a little more, that it is indeed the truth, and the truth will bring you freedom.

Last night it was kind of brought to my attention that I do have God's Word tucked deeply into my heart.    May I never lose Its wonder.  The scripture below, God has been working in my heart for over a month.  He wants me to not only know it, but to live it.

Luke 6:45 The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks

Tuesday, April 06, 2010

Sorry

Sometimes we do something for someone and we just think it’s going to be a blip, its not going to make a difference one way or another, no good or bad will come from it. We always hope that good will come.  And then it happens, something goes wrong, we are wronged, even though we were innocent in the whole thing. Until our mouth opens and all the hurt and pain come roaring out like the tide. Out of the overflow of our heart, our mouth speaks. And then whatever innocence we had is gone.

I had this situation. One that I am sorry I ever decided to be kind. Very rarely will I ever say that I am sorry for being kind, for opening my home. This time, I am sorry. I am sorry that I opened my home only to feel unsafe in my home for the first time in eight years. I am sorry that I can’t forgive the person (people) who wronged me, and I’m sorry that I didn’t just put duct tape over my mouth, and I’m sorry that I just didn’t clean up the mess on the porch so I wouldn’t constantly be reminded of what they did. And I'm really sorry I couldn't keep my mouth shut.

Quite often in our lives we have to clean up someone else’s mess. Whether we like it or not. And sometimes others have to clean up our messes. The sooner we clean it up, the sooner it will be over.  Unfortunately, we have all sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. That’s a sad thing to come to grips with. But that’s just the way we did, we live in an imperfect world, but we love and serve a perfect God.

I was singing the CS Lewis song today, this song resonates in my soul. How I long for God to speak to me, and not just that, how I long for my flesh to be weak and my spirit to be strong.

The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks. ~ Luke 6:45

God please keep speaking to my heart so that the overflow is nothing by You.

CS Lewis Song - Brooke Fraser
If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy,
I can only conclude that I was not made for here
If the flesh that I fight is at best only light and momentary,
then of course I'll feel nude when to where I'm destined I'm compared
Speak to me in the light of the dawn
Mercy comes with the morning
I will sigh and with all creation groan as I wait for hope to come for me
Am I lost or just found? On the straight or on the roundabout of the wrong way?
is this a soul that stirs in me, is it breaking free, wanting to come alive?

Cause my comfort would prefer for me to be numb
An avoid the impending birth of who I was born to become
For we, we are not long here
Our time is but a breath, so we better breathe it
And I, I was made to live, I was made to love, I was made to know you
Hope is coming for me
Hope, He's coming

Monday, April 05, 2010

another new recipe - Balsamic Dressing

I know I already have a great one, but I decided to try a new one, got it from Family Feasts for $75 a week!

1/2 c olive oil (it called for veggie, i used Olive)
1/4 water
1/4 c balsamic vinegar
1 clove garlic, minced
1 t dry mustard
1 t salt
1 t sugar
1 t parsely

Put all ingredients in a pint container with a tight lid (remember, you're going to shake it!) Shake Well. Store, tightly covered, in fridge up to 2 months.

I needed a marinade for some chicken on Thursday, so I tripled the recipe, smells wonderful!!

Saturday, April 03, 2010

I'm tired.

I'm so thankful for Saturday Service.  I'm so thankful that tomorrow I can just hang around the house and do whatever needs to be done and go to see the fam later for dinner.  Monday I am not sure what we are doing, though I know we are NOT going to the DIA because it's closed.  I do know that I WILL be taking out the garbage, and a lot of it.  Maybe cleaning.

Very much looking forward to the next couple of days where i can rest in Him.

Happy Easter!  He is RISEN!!

how do you know?

I have a friend who thinks that religion is just a way for the government to keep the people down. I know a student who claimed to love Jesus but then changed to an athiest. I know people who say that they know the God I know, but choose to not follow Him. I know people that are wondering around looking for something to fill them up, but they never find 'it'. I know people who say "how do you know?"

I'm not judging any one of those people. But let me tell you, I can't put into words how I know there is a God, I just do. I can tell you that there is nothing in His Word that doesn't hold true. I know that history marks Him though it seems we don't teach Him anymore. We even mark our days with His birth (BC - before Christ, AD Anno Domini, the year of the Lord).

Why was my life saved from an eternity in Hell? Grace
Why do I get to love? Grace

How do I know there is a God? Grace

His Grace covers me when I sin. His grace gives me peace when I'm in a room full of people and anxious. His grace allows me to love and not be bitter. His grace allows me to be forgiven. His grace is how I know.

2 Cor 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Friday, April 02, 2010

Its Friday! And its Good Friday

Its kind of weird to me that I love in food. I think its weird to other people to. Last night PHyllis and I were tag-teaming the food, she made the cupcakes, I was cutting vegetables and doing other things... I had to pick up a few extra things this morning and I thought to most people none of this would matter. But it does. Because its how I love.

I'm overwhelmed with today. Good Friday. wow. Good Friday, amazing grace. Sunday is Easter. A risen Savior. A living Savior. A Savior King. Living in me.

Love Wins...

Thursday, April 01, 2010

Amazing Grace

Our Youth Ministry does the Good Friday service at our church every year. I can’t even tell you how amazing it is. God is moving in their lives and its so awesome to see. Some people think that I’m so great because I serve at Alive and the teenagers, really, like all things in Christ, the blessing is mine, and totally undeserving.

This year’s service is no different than the last, its amazing, mind blowing, heart changing. Just watching the run throughs I was crying during that. My job is in the back, doing words. I like it back there. You can see hands raised, you get a great view because you get to see everything happening.

Last year I don’t remember what we ate, because everybody just bought lunch/dinner. There are a lot of us that will get there at one (or earlier) and not leave until midnight. That’s a long day. Today’s menu: Mostacolli, bread, salad, red velvet cupcakes (get it red – blood) and later I will bust our a cheese and cracker & a veggie tray after the first service. So many people say “thanks” or “you’re so awesome to do that”. I want to tell you something, and its crazy, but its my honor to serve them food. It is a true gift from God that I can cook, cook well, cook for a lot of people, and that I have the funds available to buy the stuff.

I always wanted a large family, one with lots of children, and by the grace of God I have more children to love than I ever imagined. Not only do I get to love them, I see God’s grace in their lives, I see them go out in faith to love their friends, to love people they might not even like, to see them be nice to the kid who sits by themselves, to see them travel to foreign countries to love people and break the chains of religion and to allow themselves to be used to show people what a relationship with Jesus looks like and to give them that gift. To see the kids the kids live love out in their own families.

Amazing Grace.
How sweet the sound.
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost
But now I’m found
Was blind
But now I see

Praise God!

Even when its busy

Last night was life groups and Good Friday rehearsal!  Seriously, no matter what denomination you are, Jesus is all of them, but you should come to one of the services on Friday.  I work with the youth, and somehow I am amazed every time at their talent, and I'm just in awe that God let's me work with them.

Last night I was like "mememememememememememememe" and God just said 'have you thought about anyone else? What they are going through? Its not always about you'.  Oh boy, I love it when that happens. Even when things seem so busy, God never stops taking the time to speak to me. And sometimes He whispers so I have to listen.

Its a busy couple of days.  Tonight - BH and cooking for Friday, Friday is Good Friday, Saturday - GCH, Sunday - He is Risen Day & time with the family, Monday - WE ARE OFF!!!  Don't know what we're gonna do, but its gonna be something!!

My kitchen should be done today!!