Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Monday, May 30, 2011

what a glorious weekend!

I feel like after today I am relaxed and ready to go back to work.  That sounds nutty but sometimes I just need some time off to relax, more than just the two glorious days we normally get!


One month until Phyllis's Party...  OH YEAH I was supposed to paint trim this weekend... oh boy, maybe tonight!  I was also supposed to work outside in the garden... Tuesday!  I'll do that Tuesday!  And maybe Thursday I'll pick up the chair molding!  


Right now, three beauties are sleeping. Two in the living room and one upstairs in the Penthouse :).  Oatmeal Banana pancake batter awaits them!  Melissa said to me "we'd really enjoy it if you want to make us breakfast". Makes me laugh because I can't recall ever just feeding them cereal.  Cuties!


Looking around lately, maybe it's nuts but I feel so incredibly blessed.  How thankful am I that I didn't get flooded (I can only imagine what my basement would have looked like had it not flooded in April!).  I look at the awesome people in my life and I think I am so not worthy.


I'm going to El Salvador in 2012!!!  And I am so blessed by God's provision that I can pay for it!  Remember that girl who  made poor choices and ended up pregnant at 19?  I do.  WOW! I've come a long way.  God has carried me a long way.


I often wish I was married (or for crying out loud had a boyfriend) but maybe it's not the right time, I am not sure.  But I feel so blessed to be where I am, created for such a time as this.


I had my mp3 player in the van yesterday, I was listening over and over to this...








That second one just hits me because when you're in the middle of a mess, you have no idea what will happen, sometimes it just seems so hard, like you don't matter.  But that first one, reminds me of how God has it all.  It all rests in Him.


I can't believe how incredibly blessed I am.  And always was.


Romans 5:3-5 3 Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

Sunday, May 29, 2011

Menu Planning Week of May 30

An easy week ahead.  I am making the chicken for Tuesday ahead in the crockpot today & the chicken for the BBQ sandwiches & the ground turkey & Lentil filling (lots of vegetarians at AKT) for the tacos.

Monday - Grilled Chicken & Veggies
Tuesday - Quesadilla & Spanish Rice
Wednesday - BBQ chicken Sandwiches & Pasta salad
Thursday - Tacos (for AKT Theatre too!  It's Tech Week)
Friday - Aaron & Katie's Wedding
Saturday - Not sure (maybe Ikea)
Sunday (next) - Alive Leaders - Meatballs & either noodles or Mashed potatoes

Friday, May 27, 2011

The best mom I never had!

So once a month is BH day, some friends of mine cook dinner and serve it to a mission/church in LP.  Yesterday we celebrated Memorial Day with hot dogs, tuna salad, chips, and ice cream sundaes.  And let me tell you, I had a tiny fit about the ice cream sundaes, I just wanted ice cream sandwiches but Vicki talked me into it, and I was glad, people were happy happy about you scream I scream, we all scream for ice cream (sundaes).

So… this young boy (7th grade) asks Vicki if she’ll go to his National Middle school Honor’s Society awards because for whatever reason no one in his family can/will go with him.  She, being Vicki, says sure.  However, me being me, knows that there is a rule about a female being alone with male student (or a male being alone with a female student), so I volunteer to go. (Those rules are in place for a reason!!!!)  So we go, and he’s happy because he’s got someone to root him on!  I saw him more than once look to see if we were watching!  He was so happy to have someone there.  I know what it’s like to have no one there, things come up that can’t be helped.  I was so proud of him (and by this point) I’ve known the kid 2 hours.

As we walked out, he says to us ‘you guys are like the mom I never had’.

You know I would have loved to spend the night relaxing on couch or cleaning my house, it’s the truth, but nothing could have replaced how I felt God’s love in my heart and how I got to pour that love into someone else.  I truly believe that if we just loved each other (those we know and those we meet 2 hours before) the world would be an amazing place.  My world, full of love, it's amazing!  How blessed I feel that because my heart was open to love, it poured out and then got replenished.  Another example of how you just can’t out give God.

1 Tim 1:14 The grace of our Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.

Thursday, May 26, 2011

small thoughts from a small mind...

So yesterday we had flood warnings.


I have to tell you, when I see the devastation of floods, my heart always breaks. Yesterday the streets were flooded. I realized something yesterday, I have an irrational, completely, I mean COMPLETELY irrational fear of driving through large amounts of water.

To the point of panicking and wanting to throw up. Ok, so what’s the worst that can happen if you drive through water and get stuck? You hop out of your car and call a tow truck. HOWEVER, there is a hefty bill that comes along with it, new car parts, new engine, inconvenience of sitting there, inconveniencing others (because you’re in their way). It makes me sick.

Yesterday, I drove through some scary parts of our fair (or not so fair) city. Places that as a young child were part of our commute to various places…

This was my trek:

Telegraph to Grand River, Grand River to Laser, somewhere along Lahser, flooded plains, detour through a neighborhood that was NOT nice, but I saw three teenagers trying to huddle under 1 umbrella, so what do I do? I give them my FAVORITE umbrella. I mean, I loved this umbrella. I don’t know why, but I did. But it’s just a ‘thing’ and I bought two new ones on my way to Phyllis’s concert so I’d always have a spare to give away. Ridiculous I know. Then back to Lahser only to find out that at Outer Drive – FLOODED! AHHHHHHHHHH! Turned around, took 5 mile to Evergreen, Evergreen to Tireman (was going to take it to Ford Road, but guess what… flooded just after Tireman so I had to turn around). Tireman used to be a well kept street. I was saddened by the way it looked. What happened to pride? So… Tireman to Southfield freeway. Southfield home.

I found out this morning that Southfield was open the whole way, no issues, LOL.

But this takes me to my next subject of neighborhoods. How do people just walk away from their homes? Some I realize that someone loses their income, I get that, but what about people who upgrade to a bigger house, leaving those in a neighborhood with lower home values. I have a house in my neighborhood that someone walked away from, I don’t know why, but what a mess they left. I get that things happen, but instead of taking the stuff in the house to the curb, instead, they left the mess, and then someone had to come clean it out… then it all ends up on the lawn by the bank. I blame, the previous homeowner, the bank, and the government for making it so easy for letting people walk away from their homes… I would love to walk away from my underwater and even just go rent in another city, but here’s the thing… As one of my friends said, “I signed a piece of paper that I would pay back this amount, there wasn’t conditions to my signature”.

I realize that things happen, but I also know that people want bigger and better when all they could afford was fair to moderate.

So that’s my very small thoughts for the day…

I hope you’re dry and loved wherever you are!

Monday, May 23, 2011

Meal Planning for this week...

Well... last week I only made 3 of the meals i had planned...  so this week, I'm not doing much planning ahead, gonna do a day by day thing and see how it works out!

Today we are having BBQ chicken sandwiches because they smelled so good yesterday that I made for the Alive leaders, so I busted out some chicken, threw it in the crockpot, cooked it up, shredded it, add bbq sauce, and that's what we're having for dinner tonight along with some pasta salad (also made for the Alive leaders but I purposely made extra for us), and maybe corn on the cob.

So that's it... wish I could tell you that I was doing better planning but I'm not...

Sunday, May 22, 2011

Traveling...

I've got some sisters...

Traveling sisters... well, we travel, all seperately... but we've had a crazy scarf adventure, an apron adventure... and now a bible adventure... I started posting there on Monday...  and finished today...

www.travelingscarf.blogspot.com

Friday, May 20, 2011

Extreme Couponing

Here’s my thoughts on Extreme Couponing…. If you care.


I’m thrifty. I believe in getting the most for your money. I have one friend who is doing it and I believe she is not obsessed with it, but is helping others, and helping her family, and I’m ok with that.

What I am not ok with is stock piling stuff you’re never going to use. Hey, if you can get a 24 pack of Toilet paper for $.25 but you have 2 lifetimes worth, that is a waste. If you buy kitty treats and have a room full, but YOU DON’T HAVE A CAT and you don’t donate it to the humane society or PAWS or some other organization, I think that you are sinning. You are wasting. If you have 300 boxes of stove top stuffing but you can’t eat it all before it goes bad and you don’t donate it, shame on you. If you are spending 6 hours cutting coupons, running around but leaving your family and not teaching them the greatness of a bargain, I think you’re a fool. Time is precious!

HOWEVER if you are buying groceries/toiletries that you will eat/use, you are helping your family to save or even survive or using those groceries/toiletries to help others and you can do it for a great price, I’m with you! I cannot tell you how thankful I was for peeps who donated tons and tons (and tons) of stuff for our Mission Trip last year because they got things at a good price. They are using their talents for the greater good and if you’re passing on the gift of being thrifty, GOOD FOR YOU!

I think like all things (especially those that can border on obsessive/compulsive, I think we should always check our hearts. Me included.

Matthew 6:21 For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

TGIF!

It’s the end of the day.  It has been an exhausting couple of days, I had to spend them with my engineer, and he is exhausting.  Seriously. 

I got home, and decided I didn’t want to make dinner so we went out to the little corner place, and then I came home and got in the flower beds. I am a firm believer that if you do a little at a time, eventually the work gets done! So one bed cleaned out and one flat of flowers planted!  My new grass is growing, hopefully it will look decent for the party! 

I feel like every weekend I get a little more done around here!  This weekend I am going to go look for a pattern for the curtains, work in the yard, and work around the house!  It will be busy but good!

I’m glad it’s Friday tomorrow and I am going to try to get up and go to the gym in the morning! 

1 Cor 4:11  12 We work hard with our own hands.

It's not about me...

Today I was standing at the shuttle. It was raining. Everyone wanted on the shuttle, people were going to be late for their 8 o’clocks. Today I wasn’t late, I was meeting my engineers and it wasn’t a big deal if I got on the shuttle. Besides, I trying to remember that there are things I can control and things I can’t. I can’t control the timing of a shuttle, I don’t drive it, schedule it, I just ride it. The driver of the shuttle is awesome! If someone is running towards the bus, he doesn’t leave them. No one is going to die anyway.


I said to the lady next to me ‘this will be a test of character.’

As I suspected, people plowed to the shuttle, almost knocking others.

I thought of the scripture Phil 2:3-4 Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4 not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Since I didn’t care if I rushed to the shuttle or to the building, I planned on staying back. Sure I wanted on the shuttle but I wasn’t going to knock anyone down about it.

Whenever I start to get a little self righteous or I start saying ‘mememememememememe!!!!!!’ I remember that scripture and remember, it’s not always about me, rarely is it ever.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

This week's results!

So… I went to weight watchers yesterday… and I would have been happy with just breaking even. I know that late in the game (WW week) I ate things that were not the best choices, I wrote it all down


If you…

Bite it you write it
Drink it you ink it
Snack it you track it

Somehow I was -.4 which was good, I was happy! Sometimes a little grace goes your way. Sometimes you follow program to the ‘T’ and you don’t lose. The point is that this is a way of life, not a diet.

Our Pastor said before that success is doing the right things for long periods of time. Truth.

So this weekend will consist of working the garage and that will be some major calorie burnage. I’m hoping for a good week next week, I’d like to get to -10 soon! Right now -8.6 not too bad for my third weigh in (~1 month on the program).

Yesterday we ate at Johnny Carino’s… ate way too much bread and pasta, but it’s the meal after weight watchers so I pretty much eat whatever I want. It was YUMMY!

Today it’s back to program! Snacks packed, blueberries and bananas, and just figuring out what’s for lunch!

Grace.

Monday, May 16, 2011

My training....

This is how a lot of conversations go when someone sees me…


“hi, how are you?”

We exchange a few things… and then “how’s your marathon training going?”

And then a whole bunch of self loathing and scariness goes on in my head.

I like to be honest…

So here’s me being honest.

I don’t want to do the marathon.

I don’t think I’ll be ready, truly, because I don’t have time to train correctly.

I want to run the half, and I want to run the half, well. I want to run the whole half instead of walking, running, crawling the whole marathon. How you like them apples?

But then I feel like a jerk, because I told people I’d do the whole thing, and I like to be a woman of my word, I feel like a failure (and I haven’t even failed yet!).

I like to do things well, I like to do them with excellence, because, after all, excellence is honoring to God. Half-butting it in anything, is not.

So, I don’t know what to do. I’m praying about it, and even though there may be looks of disappointment and people saying ‘I knew she couldn’t or wouldn’t ‘ it might just have to be ok.

I’m putting this at the feet of Jesus and letting Him guide me instead of the stupid voices in my head.

And it’s not that I think that I can’t, because I can. Just not sure it’s the right time.

“The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”” - Zephaniah 3:17

I'm quite sure....

if I hated to eat, I’d be skinny LOL


What a weekend! I made lots of yummy food for a fundraiser dinner and then Sunday made tacos for lunch, and we had pizza and salad for dinner! Yum! I also made chocolate chip cookies for dessert to love on my family a little! I did write it all down, gotta figure out the points, but it’s written down!

I blew it, I expect to gain weight this week (weigh on Tuesday) but it is what it is. We move on or we move up (in weight) so today, I started with my usual 4 point breakfast and banana, had some blueberries for a snack and I will have a sensible dinner with veggies, no point in beating myself up about it. Some weeks are a little better than others, the cold rainy weather isn’t helping my running/exercise!

Planned my meals for the week, thankful that our mercies are new every morning!

Dinner Menu for the week

I got off track with making dinners for the week... no time like the present to get back to it!  Nothing exciting this week!

Sunday – Lunch Tacos


Dinner: Pizza and Salad with the family

Monday – Spaghetti w/ground turkey, mushrooms, and spinach

Tuesday – Somewhere on the Hill

Wednesday – Grilled Chicken Salad

Thrusday – Chicken Sausage, Veggies, & Pasta

Friday – Fattousch

Saturday – Hopefully out with Christie!

Sunday, May 15, 2011

United

I was driving home from dropping off a ton of food at Mission when I was just blown away by the goodness of God, and how when the church truly works together we can bless each other like crazy!

Let me first tell you that I have had nor do I have any desire to go to Haiti, well, maybe for half a second then I was like ‘if I can’t bring a muffin (my term for cute little kids) home from there forget it’.  My awesome co-leader for the beautiful 10th grade girls asked if I would help her do the food for the Unite Road Rally fundraiser.  Of course, I said yes.
The joining of two ministries…
Unite
Alive Leaders
So the day is approaching, and I’ve got countless people praying for me, because let’s be honest I’m nuts and everyone knows it. 
My friend from a Presbyterian church in Livonia
Friend’s from Harvest church in Canton
MetroSouth
We are now at 5 connections (possibly more because who knows who else was praying!)

So I do the fundraiser and there are COUNTLESS raffle stuff… so really, who knows, right, so now we are probably up to 8 different ministries!  AT LEAST! The people who were there... amazing!

Then we had way too much food (this time, promise, it was not my fault, lots of peeps didn’t show up)

We gave out so much food to families who needed it, a Mission in LP, new mom ministry, just tons, and I’m thinking, all because a bunch of peeps said yes.

They said yes when God called.

Oh what it is to be obedient. What a blessing obedience it (though it doesn't always seem like it).

There is such a blessing when we serve others, when we see a need, whether it’s going to Haiti, whether it’s donating a gift certificate or time, in prayer, in boiling noodles, whatever it is.

And then I was thinking about the name of the college ministry, Unite.  
I think it’s not a coincidence. Thankful for all those who started, work in, support this ministry, this one day, your name, your mission, was fulfilled, I am so glad that my daughter will be part of this awesome ministry, that I was able, even for such a small amount, be a part of it.

Christ’s work, at Its finest moment.

United.


1 Cor 1:10  I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought.

Fundraiser Dinner!

So I cooked for my biggest fundraiser dinner, I was told 300 people, but there weren’t 300 and to be honest for the first time I ever I feel like I didn’t over cook, meaning I didn’t make too much!  Unfortunatly, 300 people didn’t show up.  Maybe about 100-150.

Which meant I had about 300 piece of left over chicken left, and loads of mostacolli and rolls.  That’s a lot.  I sent a lot home with people, I even called a friend who has a big family and handed her 100 pieces and said ‘freeze it’.  It was crazy!  I sent food home for new mom’s, the peeps there, for families who just are burdened by a lot of stuff, and food for a few meals always helps because it is one less thing to do.

If you know me, you know I get a little bit stressed (and tired) at these functions, not this time, I was calm, cool, and collected.  It seemed awesome, I worked with an amazing group of people who whenever I asked for help were right there.  Opening tons of canned stuff, carrying stuff, garbage, whatever was needed, I never had to ask for something twice (which is not how it usually is) and knowing that things were taken care of was AWESOME! I had two FABULOUS peeps in the kitchen with me, keeping everything going, stirring, whatever needed to be done!

I think that it also helped that I didn’t have tons of other things going on in my life so that I could focus, and really enjoy this. 

I feel so blessed!  Amazing how you serve others, and you’re the one with the blessing!

Friday, May 13, 2011

I’m cooking for a fundraiser this weekend… FOR 300 PEEPS! Crazy isn’t it, it’s my biggest yet!


I’ve ordered the chicken, bought all the stuff for spaghetti, those poor ladies at Kroger, they almost pooped their pants when I came in…

People always say that I should start a catering business because I’m so good at it. No thanks. I started doing this as a fundraiser, and I feel like my gifts should be used for God. People ask me to do weddings sometimes, but I did one and I was so stressed out, I got a migraine, it was horrible!

By now, I’ve got this under control. What to buy where, who has the cheapest prices, the order of steps to get things done.

I stand here today, thinking about how overwhelmed I was yesterday and how in prayer and petition I put it before God and said ‘please handle this’ and He delivered what I needed – TEN FOLD! Seriously, TEN FOLD!

I know that He always provides, He always loves!

May you cast all your cares onto Him, because truly, He cares!

43 pounds of ground turkey

50 jars spaghetti sauce

43 pounds of noodles

14 cups of cheese

Have a great weekend!!!

Thursday, May 12, 2011

overwhelmed

Sometimes I feel like the song 'He still loves me' from the movie 'Fighting Temptations'

I used to wake up somedays

and wish i'd stayed asleep
cuz i went to bed on top of the world
today the worlds on top of me

I kind of feel like that now, I am in desperate need of a run, hoping to get one in today, all by myself, well, not ALL by myself, I run often with God.

I will tell you that I'm trying to stay positive, and think of Phil 4:8-9 and I KNOW I have so much to be thankful for, but you know what?  I am kind of lonely today. It's kind of been that way all week, I'm afraid to talk about how I feel, because I think I'm 5 seconds from a cry.

I feel like so much I want to be there for others, but how come I feel so alone?  I have so much on my mind, carrying huge burdens for a lot of things, knowing God will provide and it will all work out...  but right now, it seems a little overwhelming.

But I will not stop loving, and I will start running.

Also, you know I'm on WW now, so I am posting at http://www.itsnotaboutfood.com/ sometimes too!  Ok, so that's it... lovetoyou!
1 Peter 5:7 Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Not defined!

Today is WW weigh in day. I don’t know how it happened that Tuesdays ended up my day, but I love the meeting lady, so I’ll stick with it, it does make me accountable over the weekend and makes me choose wisely. AND write all my points down.


I received the dining out companion and the big book of points plus AND it had the 3 month tracker, and I didn’t even know that was in there so I was super excited (doesn’t take much, huh?)

I did well this week, I watched everyday and did not have an ice cream on Sunday, even though I wanted it because I just didn’t have enough points. I plan a lot better and choose wisely. I don’t know how it happens some days and I know that even if I ‘fall off’ for one meal, it does not give me a pass to just go crazy.

I’m on a new medication for my PCOS and I don’t know if it’s working, apparently it takes 2 weeks to really get going in your system, and this is starting week 3. So we will see.

I believe that I cannot be measured by someone else’s ruler, and the scale does not define me. I did well this week, exercised, made good choices, and it doesn’t all come off in one week, and I had a great week this week.

So whatever the scale says, it doesn’t matter, I feel good this week putting healthy things in my body, not shoving my face into a vat of ice cream when my heart was breaking over missing my mom!

His grace is sufficient!

2 Cor 12:9 (NLT) Each time he said, “My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness.” So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me.

Sunday, May 08, 2011

What does love look like?

I spent the morning a little sad, knowing that it was a glorious day and that I am blessed beyond belief!  It took me a minute or two to let go of sadness and REJOICE!!!  Sometimes that's why we fake it till we make it, if we count our blessings, eventually we might, even for a minute forget our burdens, and be thankful!

I got to thinking about what love looks like.  Sure sometimes it's fabulous romance, but sometimes it looks a lot different than that.  Sometimes it is chocolate covered strawberries in a ziploc bag, sometimes it's...

so today... this is what love looks like to me (these are gifts I've given or are going to give or received) today.


My mac and cheese not only tastes great... it sings to me as the noodles fill with cheese sauce <3

 Doesn't look like much... but that is 8 lbs of potatoes soon to be mashed potatoes
 Strawberry love on a plate Phyllis made me for Mother's Day years ago,
 I'm sure to be 80 and still serving on it.
 My dad came over to drill the hole for the internet in my new office (above and below)

 A small gift for someone
 HELLO!  Cupcakes!
 From my girl :)
I really wanted this!


People are often unreasonable, irrational, and self-centered. Forgive them anyway.
If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives. Be kind anyway.
If you are successful, you will win some unfaithful friends and some genuine enemies. Succeed anyway.
If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you. Be honest and sincere anyway.
What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight. Create anyway.
If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous. Be happy anyway.
The good you do today, will often be forgotten. Do good anyway.
Give the best you have, and it will never be enough. Give your best anyway.
In the final analysis, it is between you and God. It was never between you and them anyway.
-this version is credited to Mother Teresa

Happy Mother's Day to you!

It's Mother's Day but so far, outside of making chocolate covered strawberries, it doesn't seem that different of a day!

We are going out to eat with the fam and then home, I kind of need to clean out my garage LOL and Phyllis needs to get her room in order, unfortunatly until someone runs the cable line into my office, not sure when that will happen! maybe I can ask my dad today!  I also need to finish the trim in the dining room and kitchen, it will get done, I promise! I finally moved the supplies downstairs because I was tired of looking at them. Things are really starting to come together!

Also need to run to Walgreens to have them scan all Phyllis's pics for her grad video...  there's like 150 of them :)

Taking food to the Alive Leaders at 5:15ish, chicken, mac&cheese, and mashed potatoes, cupcakes, and chocolate covered strawberries for the moms! 

And maybe... a movie, I want to see 'Something Borrowed' or the new Madea movie (I know it's weird that I love Madea movies).

I hope your Mother's Day is fabulous!

Saturday, May 07, 2011

Mother's Day Eve

There might be a lot of blogs in the next couple days... I write when I have a lot of emotion... it makes me feel better to release it.
It’s not like one day makes me miss my mom more than the other, but maybe some days are a little harder, and I wish she were here. I’ve caught myself about to cry about 30 times today. You think I’ve been so busy today because I like it? Nope, just trying to get through the days without shoving my face in a 1.75 qt of peanut butter fudge ice cream. So better be busy and get activity points, right? Do the things that I know to be true, and noble, and admirable, and excellent and praiseworthy, love when it’s hard, do everything I know to keep from hurting someone (hurting people hurt people, you know).

Also, do things I love… I went grocery shopping, I was in there so long that when I went in, gas was $4.08, when I left, $3.95. Don’t ask me the total on my bill. It was bad, I did have a lot of coupons, and got some free stuff, and I love grocery shopping.

Getting ready to move some furniture, hang some pictures, and do some other stuff. Gotta make some Mother’s Day gifts and cards.

I’m missing my momma today. I am thankful. I am. But that doesn’t mean I don’t miss her.

I think it’s gonna be a rough weekend. I better not start crying, or I’m never gonna stop.

Lord, I know the plans you have for me are never to harm me, but I’m missing my momma.
(Pic is from left to right... my momma (that smile is on it's third generation - my mom, me, and Phyllis), my dad's gramma ~Nana, my aunt Janie, my gram ~gram, my sister Dolores) around 1971

Mother's Day

1.  Lunch with those you love
2.  Missing those you love
3.  Flowers
4. Cemetry
5.  Presents
6.  Cards
7. Blessed
8.  Working on the house
9. Loving others
10.  Love bigger than you ever thought you'd know

Exodus 20:12   “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you

Friday, May 06, 2011

This is what love looks like

This is a picture of my mom, all these crazy facebook status’s have been making me miss her, I decided to go digging for a picture of her. This one is from my 1st birthday. The only birthday that she celebrated on earth with me. There aren’t many pics, and most of them she is skinny and kind of sickly looking.


But I’m thankful.

She taught me what it means to live a life unselfishly.

I’m thankful for a mom who taught me how to love.


Psalm 86:16 Turn to me and have mercy on me; show your strength in behalf of your servant; save me, because I serve you just as my mother did.


Here is my essay on why I walked in the Breast Cancer walk in 2007

Why I Walk by Margie Maierle

To try to put my finger on why I am walking in the 3 day breast cancer walk is like trying to nail down jello. There are so many reasons. I walk for those who have passed before us, I walk for those who have survived. I walk for those who held their breath during a breast exam or a mammogram, and who held their breath waiting for the results.

My mom died when I was 16 months old, she was 31. Both of these ages seem too young. I walk in the hope that one day I hope that I can truly celebrate Mother’s Day. I am a mother of a beautiful daughter, but when I think of Mother’s Day, I think of all the projects made for someone else, not my mom. I think of the flowers brought to her grave. I think of all the times when someone would hear that I didn’t have a mom and ask me about it.

I walk because the one thing my mother taught me long after she was gone was how much you can love your children. I walk in honor of my mom who knew love so big that she chose my life over hers. She didn’t have the option of treatment, She was pregnant when she found out she had breast cancer. Well, she had the option, but it would have killed me, because she was pregnant with me. She chose my life, in doing that, she chose to give up her own. She loved me before she knew me, that much. After she died, the doctor told my dad that even if she would have had the treatment, she wouldn’t have survived anyway, that was almost 33 years ago. In honor of her choices, I named my daughter Phyllis, after her. A name that in my mind, only means one thing, love.

For most of my life, I thought I would die young, I thought that before the age of 32, I would too, die. I celebrated my 32nd birthday, not my 30th. I held my breath the entire day that my daughter was the same age as me (to the day) when my mom died. It sounds silly, but to me, it didn’t seem silly. I walk so that Breast cancer will not be a death sentence. I walk so that no other child will know the pain of losing a mother.

I walk in honor of my dad, my cousins, my aunts, uncles, and all of my family who miss her. I walk in honor of my daughter who never had the opportunity to meet someone with that much love. I walk in honor of myself who has daily struggles of missing her mom, and misses that I can’t just pick up a phone and call her.

I walk for hope.

I walk for a mother’s love.

Mother's Day

It's Mother's Day on Sunday.

I look forward to it, but it's gonna be busy :)

I can't wait for my gift :)  I told Phyllis EXACTLY what to give me (see pic from my cellphone), she says I'm hard to buy for because I just buy what I want :)  Which is true.  I went so long with wanting and not really getting the things I enjoy, if I have the money, I want it (if my wanter is not on full blast and within the budget), I buy it.

I'm looking forward to having lunch with my family after church (gonna make my stepmom her gift and give her a little something I know she'll like - she's hard to buy for too, it must run in our family!).  And working on my house (wondering if it will EVER get in order!!)   Gonna hang pics this weekend on my beautifully colored walls of my beautiful family.

1 John 3:18 Dear children, let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth

Breakfast

You should always eat breakfast, that's what they say.  I agree, I'm hungry the moment my feet hit the floor in the morning.  Finding a low point breakfast that holds me over till 10AM snack time can be tricky, especially if you hate oatmeal and yogurt.  I'm happy to say I found one...

1 Whole Wheat English Muffin (Good health brand I think) 2 pts
3 egg whites cooked with spinach (1)
1 swiss laughing cow cheese (1)

This is yummy and quick and holds me over :) 

It took me some trial and error of how many points things are on the new system.

BTW... PB&J... 7 points, what the heck!
4 points for the bread (whole wheat)
2 points for PB
1 point for fruit spread...

But I do love me some PB&J!  LOVELOVELOVE!

Thanks to a run I got to eat an extra half of one yesterday!!  woooo hoooooo!!!!  Almost as good as ice cream (that's how much I love PB&J)

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Weekend Plans

Need to work on boundaries again, things are a little crazy, and by crazy I mean that I am going to bed later than 9:30...  A couple days I haven't even gotten home until 9pm and so it's all crazy.  Last night I was up later than I wanted to be getting the FB invitation done for Phyllis's Party (see pic, but all the information about our house is deleted, but you get the idea for the invitation!).

Tonight, home!  I am running with a friend and I need to finish the trim in the dining room at the least so I can somewhat put my dining room together. I still have to get the chair molding up but I need to get things somewhat in place.

Phyllis painted the first coat in her room upstairs, my current office, so this weekend, I hope to do the 'switch' this weekend so I can get those two rooms put together.  So that would be 3 rooms.

Working on the basement getting it back in order, do you know how crazy your basement looks after a flood.  As Levi and Judah would say 'whoa'. 

Need to do some work in the garage (prep for the grad party) and outside too, moving some landscaping. 

This is going to be one very busy weekend, and I don't really plan on doing anything scheduled, with the exception of church and lunch on Mother's Day.  Not even my nail appt.  I think it's tacos for the Alive leaders Sunday because it's easy... or it might be chicken and mac & cheese and mashed potatoes.  Not sure, but something easy.

So that's all that's going on in our world.

lovetoyou!!!

bible verse of the day:

Phil 4:6-7 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Love is the answer

I don't like to give satan too much credit.  I don't like him, not one bit, but giving him credit when things go wrong gives him too much power. 
Do I think that people are sometimes under attack?  yes.  But I also know that we are responsible for our own actions. 
I often pray that satan be bound and God's plans be loose, but it is up to us to make good choices. he tries to prey on us when we are weak, but we are stronger than we think or believe.

We live by faith not by feelings. if you don't believe me, find it in the bible where it says we live by feelings.

My friend Sara once told me that if we live by emotions, we will be right 50% of the time, if we live by purpose, 98% of the time.  Or something like that.  I remember that when I have to make a decision.

I don't know if people think that I've had some perfect life and that things are easy for me, or that making good choices is easy for me.  It's not.  Not one bit  Every day it is about getting up, and surrendering my life to Him.  And making choices based on my faith not on my feelings.   It is not easy. 

My faith is based on Love.  A love that was so big that it could save my soul, it changed my destiny.

I believe that we can save the world, based on love alone.  Fighting doesn't work, I saw a church sign that said 'the world was never set on fire by a hot head'.  That stupid sign rocked my world. 

I had a pit in my stomach yesterday, because of the whole OBL 'thing'.  I thought about his eternity, I thought about how mine was changed, by Love.  I care about eternity.  Yours, mine, and others.  I am not always sure how to change the lives of others and their eternity, I just know that love is the answer, and it always wins.

I love this quote by MLK, Jr, I stole it from someone's fb post,

"I mourn the loss of thousands of precious lives, but I will not rejoice in the death of one, not even an enemy. Returning hate for hate multiplies hate, adding deeper darkness to a night already devoid of stars. Darkness cannot drive out darkness: only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate: only love can do that"

Be love.

Romans 12:21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

Monday, May 02, 2011

Speak life!

I wish that I could put bubbles around them
I wish that I could build walls around their hearts with Buckingham Palace Guards with AK47s to protect them from being hurt.

I love all ‘my kids’ but I love the girls especially. I often can’t communicate the love for them that I have. I see these boys who I think want to do the right thing, but I also know that boys want to release their own desires, and in that release comes a wake of destruction that heads for the shore of those beautiful girl’s hearts.
I wish that those girls would see how beautiful they are, how God created them for greatness.  I wish that when they looked in the mirror they didn't see the flaws that the world has pointed out to them and they wouldn't try to compete to be better or they wouldn't give up because they think they will never be good enough.

They already are good enough, pretty enough.  They already are beautiful. They are God breathed.

I wish that someone would have loved me enough to say 'that boy is bad news' and tell me why.  Maybe I wouldn't have listened the first few times, but maybe I would have started to see that I was beautiful and that I shouldn't 'date down'.  maybe I would have believed that I deserved someone great, not someone who 'tries' but someone who acheives because they didn't 'try' for greatness, they 'strived' for it!

I finally learned that I just don't want something great, someone great, I learned that God has it all planned.  And that as I wait, He prepares both our hearts.  That I won't settle.  And I want that for my girls too, I want them to know that God gives us the desires of our heart, and then because He loves us, He fulfills them too.

I wish that I could protect each girl, I wish that I could love them enough to think before I speak and always speak in a language of love that they hear it instead of hurting them too.

Love is hard.  Espeically with a big mouth like mine...

But it always wins. 

Proverbs 18:21 The tongue has the power of life and death, and those who love it will eat its fruit.

Weekend!

I spoke on Saturday at the Mother’s Day luncheon, it was so awesome to be surrounded by friends and family, it makes me want to have a 40th birthday party! LOL!!!
Sunday was pretty busy, how did my calmest day change to my busiest day again? Ugh! I loved having Sundays! Oh well, I loved seeing my girls!
I’m really deciding not to overwhelm myself these days! I’ve got a lot on my plate and I need to decide what things are most important, when I don’t do that, I end up with poor planning, and eat like crap and it sets off a spiral of junk in my life. Failure to plan is planning to fail…
Also, last night, I woke up to a light on, I asked Phyllis was she was doing (it was 12:30), she was watching the news! Really? Osama Bin Laden is dead, and I think I was probably one of the VERY few who thought, ‘oh man, that guy is gonna burn in hell, He didn’t know Jesus’ I felt horrible, and fell asleep with a knot in my stomach! I think God and His love are doing some weird things in my heart. Though, let me say, what he did was despicable, I just hate to know that someone is burning in hell. Crazy… I know…
So that’s it. I hope you had a great weekend! And I hope you have a great week!
1 John 2:15-17 15 Do not love the world or anything in the world. If anyone loves the world, love for the Father[d] is not in them. 16 For everything in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—comes not from the Father but from the world. 17 The world and its desires pass away, but whoever does the will of God lives forever.