Good Morning! I am encouraged that I got to go to church today! I always want to remember that it is an honor to worship Jesus in church! Its so great that we can choose! It was an amazing service today, I keep asking God about where He wants me to go to church, I certainly am not a Sunday Christian and so the church I go to needs to be a outward giving church.
I posted earlier that I am in this season of kind of like winter. I go to a counselor and to be honest she’s been guiding me towards this season for some time now. I thought (hoped) it would last one month. Let’s face it, sitting still is not fun for me.
After about a month I was like “ok, I’m done” ready for what was next but she said no “this will be like 5 to 6 months” and I will be honest that almost seemed like a death sentence.
I was driving today thanking God for this time. Honestly one month of slowing down was kind of like a drive by shooting. I was still moving, albeit slower, I was just slowing down to get ready to rev up at any moment to take off as fast as I could. But I am thankful for this time. Because it made me slow down and ease up.
I have been taking this time to seek God. Where do you want me Lord? I have made some changes and it’s been hard to step back and have people who have said they loved me and cared about me to not say a word to me. And I am not sad, I’ve actually found such a joy in knowing people love me for me, not what I do for them. It’s been nice in the seeking to find truth.
I’ve said good-bye to a church that I have attended for a long time. And I have had so many feelings about that. Thinking about memories has stirred up a lot of feelings, some good some bad. And getting to a place of joy took time. And I leave with a heart of gratitude, and that took time.
I’ve come to a place of quiet and peace because I am not running around at 100mph (most of it in circles. I have a chance to process things, to feel and not react. I have time to ask myself the questions I need to:
Why am I really upset?
What am I afraid of? (usually when I am freaking out, I am afraid of something)
If I react, what good will come of it?
What can I do to make this situation better?
I am thankful for this time of growth. I am thankful for this time to clean out and help others with my abundance and this helps me to get rid of all the things I have held on to “just in case”. For me, “just in case” is sin because I’m holding on to things as if to say that I am not trusting God, like He won’t provide if I need it. It been completely freeing, letting go of stuff. And I am thankful because it takes time.
Taking the time to reflect makes me thankful for whatever time I have left in this season for God to grow me.
Thankful as I remain in Him.