The journey of grief: Healing and new shoes


 I have said more times than I can count in the last two weeks...  "I have more peace than I've ever known"

This seems weird to me because I don't think that in my ENTIRE life Ive know a day without an angst within.

I'm an over achiever because that is what people praised in me.  It helped me to belong.   If you want something done, give it to a busy person. And busy I was, and I accomplished things like it was my job.  I did so at a cost.  And I always worried it was not enough.

The other day a friend came over and said to me "why are all your shoes black?"  LOL it is 100% true.  Even my tennis shoes... are black.  You know why? because they match everything I own.  Black.  

You know why? because when I was a kid I didn't have a lot of clothes or shoes.  To be honest I had one "Mary Jane" type of shoe - to which to this day I HATE and sneakers. I can't even remember having sandals or flip flops... probably why I love being barefoot to this day. maybe I had sandals but I can tell you I don't ever remember having them.   I have shoes that match all my clothes and my clothes all match each other because it makes financial sense.  Sometimes my subconscious forgets I am not poor.  I also only buy good shoes, and they are pricey but that matters to me.  I hated going to Kmart for shoes.  And I hated only getting shoes when they didn't fit - not when they were worn out.  That's how it was.

The trauma still sits deep within me, and as I break free and find peace and heal that awful trauma - I find myself doing (or not doing) things that I would normally do.  The other day it was one thing after another at work. It normally stresses me out, instead I took a deep breath and calmly (instead of getting upset) took one item at a time and made a plan.  Now - I always make a plan but its usually not calmly.  I don't complain about my job, I simply look at it as provision and a place God has me to do whatever it is He wants me to do there.  He didn't call me to turmoil and so I won't look at it that way.  For the first time in my life, I might just be the calmest person in the room.  Weird.

You know what I did the other day? I bought brown sandals.    Months ago I saw them on the Vionic website and I wanted them but thought... they aren't black.  I also have a thing that wearing black with brown shoes is WRONG.  Its an old fashion faux pax that one simply did not do that.  And I am not sure I can bring myself to do that, but maybe.  and I must say... I LOVE THEM.

For years I have said "my dad did the best he could" and maybe that was true.  But let me tell you... it was not good.  I will not speak ill of my father, he is not around to defend himself, but my life as a child and a teenager was TRAU-MATIC.

And it affected me and still affects me, but one thing I won't do is stay hurting.  Its really amazing to feel the peace inside me AND see the fruit of that peace.  I almost feel like a completely different person - except that I am still the really awesome person I've always been!  Except better!

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