A chance

I remember about 13 years ago, Phyllis was not quite a year, my dad told us to get my stuff together, and being the kind kid that I was, I thought it was all him. We were fighting all the time at that point. I moved in with my girlfriend for a couple of months but that was not a temporary situation. It was November, and it was getting cold and I needed to find a place to live, but at $4.85/hour, I apparently made too much and I had like $1000 car. FIA told me I could lie and say I didn’t have a car and I would have to quit my job to get help. I think I made about $500/month after taxes. I looked at a single wide trailer to rent. It wasn’t even winter yet and it was already cold – with the heat on. And it was… gross. At some point I had to swallow my pride and go talk to my dad. And the giving, forgiving wonderful man he was, he took us back in.

I think about where we would be if he hadn’t. Would I ever had a chance? Would we be one of those stories you hear about single moms who are the white trash that their family is embarrassed of? Maybe I would have been on Jerry Springer. I still think my family is embarrassed of me, but at least they don’t have to “loan” me money knowing that they would never get it back.

And I guess this Christmas I think about how giving and forgiving our Father is. Where would we be had He not sent His Son down for us. Would we ever had a chance? Could we have ever sacrificed enough to make it into Heaven? His grace amazes me.