Still

I am in the middle of something. Something that I asked God to inflict His will. And now I don’t like it. The issue is not that I don’t think that God knew what He was doing, but not all the people around me follow Him, so how do I know if they are living to God’s will. And how do I know if they see my potential? DO they see all that I can do or do they see me as someone who does well at what we give her, so let’s not overwhelm her. I don’t know. This I can tell you, I don’t like where I am.

At the beginning of the year (actually before then) I decided I would have two “resolutions”. You can label them whatever you want, I don’t care. One was to get my fat butt a lot less fat and another to read and study God’s word more. First one – not doing too well, all self-inflicted, I wonder why I do that, but that’s a whole ‘nother blog. Second one, I was doing well, I usually read the devotion marked for Tuesday on Monday night. I know, I’m weird, but so far, it’s been like a roadmap for the next day. I didn’t read Wednesday’s devotion until Wednesday night, I should have, yesterday I traveled the road with no direction, and it didn’t get me anywhere. So the verse, Ecc 9:10 Whatever your hand finds to do, do it with all your might. I decided to read all of Ecc 9, that is something I don’t always do, but “something” was telling me that it would be a good idea. And I really started thinking about that we are where we are supposed to be, no matter what we are doing, and not matter whether the people around us follow God, we are where we are supposed to be, otherwise, He would take us and put us somewhere else.

I was on my way to work, put in Crowder and wanted to here “forever and ever” because in the words of Pastor J “it would make me feel better”. Tonya called (I so love it when she does, it’s an awesome way to start the day) and I missed my feel good song. Only to turn up the volume to hear “be quiet” which over and over just says “be quiet and listen to the voice”. That’s it. So here I am, I am going to be silent. I am going to listen to the voice. And for those who don’t think I am good enough, they are wrong, I am the daughter of the King (which makes me a princess), what do they know?
Psalm 71:20 Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up.