Yesterday we had Fuel, and I will tell you that even though I pretend to not care if everything is perfect, I really want it to be. I volunteered to do the words for worship, I am willing but not always able. I stink at it, ok, I do, but I try. And I don't think anyone will die if I screw it up, so it's ok.
The computer is usually turned on, and I think the kids think I don't know how to use Powerpoint, so they always set it up for me. I let them, it's ok, little do they know I have spoken in front of Exec Vice Presidents at Ford, and Presidents at my own corporation, but it's ok. Yesterday, I thought that someone else had set up the computer (I know how to do that Powerpoint part but that's it). We started worship - AH- Adam - we got no words, the computer isn't set up, and I am FREAKING!!! Fuel is not supposed to be stressful. So then Adam (the great) fixes that part, I get the words all up. It all works out. I am going to learn how to do that from now on, that way that never happens again though. But I need to remember that those kids don't need the words to worship, they open their hearts no matter what for Him.
I am supposed to have my new lifegroup over for dinner, where's my checkbook?? Ah, where is my check book?? I need to stop at Kroger on my way home, and I have no checkbook, that meant that I needed to go home, get the check book, go to Kroger, get pop and Spanish rice, get home, cook it up, etc. more stress. Yeah, but I got an email, given the weather, they don't want to drive. Whew, another crisis down. But you see, it's not about the spanish rice and the pop or my checkbook, we would be fine without any of those thing, I make it about me, not about Him.
Now, I know you are thinking, none of this is really that big of a deal, right? You are correct. I have a 100 things going on at any given moment, even Sara said that it stresses her out just thinking about it. It's no wonder I have had a stomach ache for the last 2 months (good thing I am going to the doctor tomorrow), and all that does one thing to me. It's distracts me from where my focus should be. God
I have spiritual ADD. I am sure I'm not the only one. I really have to focus on God. I try never to miss church, not because I think that I am holier because I go, I go because it helps keep me focused. It is a big start to a week that will be full of distractions. I love God, and as much as I love Him, I get distracted and sometimes He gives me a little nudge back, sometimes He grabs me by the arm and yanks me back. I wish I was one of those people who got up at 5:30AM did my devotional and started my day on the right foot. Instead, I am the 5 minute alone time with God, read my devotional at the end of the day. I spend a lot of time in prayer with God, don't get me wrong, but I can be pulled off course with a phone call.
I really got work on my focus.
Phil 3:12-14 12 I don’t mean to say that I have already achieved these things or that I have already reached perfection. But I press on to possess that perfection for which Christ Jesus first possessed me. 13 No, dear brothers and sisters, I have not achieved it,[a] but I focus on this one thing: Forgetting the past and looking forward to what lies ahead, 14 I press on to reach the end of the race and receive the heavenly prize for which God, through Christ Jesus, is calling us
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