Believing in myself

Believe

Believe in yourself

What you think, what you feel,

Believe in the truth,

In the good, the ideal,

Believe that your dreams

Can someday be real...

Forever and Always,

Believe.

Believe in yourself

And in what you can do,

Believe in the goals

That you strive to pursue,

Believe in the friends,

Who believe in you, too...

Forever and Always,

Believe
--Amanda Bradley

This is one of my favorite poems. I have it on a card somewhere at home and I used to have my website that I created at the end of my associate degree in a class where I learned to write html code. It was really fun, I put a lot of “inspirational” things on there.

You want to know a secret? And I guess if I tell you, it wno’t be a secret, but if you know me, really know me, you know it already. I don’t believe in myself. Some people think I do, but really, do you think I fight so hard because I think I can? Its more like I work really hard to prove someone wrong, maybe it’s me that I am proving wrong. Maybe I am the one who thinks that I can’t do it, so I work really hard to prove myself wrong. It’s quite a battle when you fight yourself, I don’t think there is ever a winner.

I think as a youth leader, and most importantly I think as a mom, if I could help those kids realize anything, it’s that they are loved and because they are loved, they can do anything. And because they are loved, I hope they see all the wonderful things about themselves and because of that, they know that they can do anything.

There are a lot of things I wish I could change about myself, weight probably being at the top of the list, but truly if there’s anything, I wish I could see myself the way others do (the ones who think I am wonderful) and like myself. I wish that somehow I saw myself the way God sees me, not including all the times I’ve disappointed Him. Maybe someday I will get there or maybe I am just having a rough week.

1 John 3:18-20 My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. (msg)