Today, I'm the jerk

We're doing this thing at Metro for the week, a prayer service at 5:30, which means this butt has to get out of bed at 4, get ready for work, I make it there in sweats and change my clothes before I leave, kind of like Clark Kent, only I am much nerdier. I feel like I've spent more time at my church home in the last 2 days than my own home.

But this morning we were supposed to group pray. Ok, I am already frightened by this concept. Have you ever heard Sara or Dean pray? Good gracious, you will never want to pray out loud again in fear that you may be compared to them. Yikes. They are good out-loud prayers. Me, on the other hand, I stumble and fumble, and sometimes cry because I get so chocked up, then I speed up so I can get through it. So... I was in the back with none other than our Pastor. I was thinking, God don't even THINK about putting us together because there is NO way I can pray in front of him. Guess what happens? Jeremy comes to me and says let's pray, my reaction "I CAN'T PRAY IN FRONT OF YOU!" Afterward, I spent most of the time praying how sorry I was. I love Jeremy, he is awesome, and a REALLY good prayer, may I say, maybe even better than Sara, which is really difficult. They both have this way of getting the feeling in the hearts out with words.

I'm such a jerk.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer

Comments

Vikki said…
I don't believe that God is impressed by fancy words or smooth delivery. Prov 16:2 "People may think all their ways are pure, but motives are weighed by the LORD."
This is a huge comfort to me, since I'm not good at praying period. I call mine 'half-prayers' cause I get distracted when I pray quietly and I stumble over my words when I pray out loud
Trish said…
God doesn't care how we pray, he just wants your heart! We all have different gifts, makes us unique.
From what I've read on your blogs, You,my girl, have the gifts of Mercy, Exhortation, Giving and a heart full of love, and you have no trouble showing them!
Some people find it hard to show their true feelings, you don't and for that you are blessed!
Deb said…
you are NOT a jerk!!

the most eloquent prayers of all are those from the heart --the wording doesn't matter.

:)
John Cowart said…
Some folks pray fancy, but I think God listens to us jerks too.

What else matters?
KayMac said…
Everyone has said it all...but let me say this...one of the things I appreciate about you is your TRANSPARENCY! You are who we see...no appearance management going on here...and guess what? You are loved. People love that about you, and love you because you are you. Sometimes I am a jerk, but for reasons far darker than what you have written about today.