I have this issue. I don't trust very easily. I've been let down a lot in my life by people I thought I could trust. Sure, I'll get on here and tell you lots of stuff, but there's some things I just don't trust you with. It's not you, it's me. And frankly, some things just aren't your business.
Because of my trust issues, I sometimes have a hard time trusting God. GASP! She said it! Do I trust God, yes, but am I still frightened? yes. Why? I don't know.
The most awesome thing in my life is that God speaks to me on a daily basis. We talk all the time, I am not sure if people always get that. Sometimes its in words, and sometimes, it's a feeling in my heart, and sometimes it's a hug that calms the wickedest (that's not really a word) storm in me. And those storms are pretty wicked sometimes.
I've got something going on in my life right now, and it's about to change, and even though I don't like the circumstances, I don't like change, hence, I'll stay where I am, and I'll bloom where I'm planted, though I know, because God has told me, He's about to change all that. "Get ready Margie, it's coming, but don't worry Margie, I have it all, I will take care of you". The last time this happened, I didn't heed God's warning, and I was sorry I didn't, I wasn't prepared.
God even brought someone to me the other day that I hadn't seen in 15 years (do the math- it was someone who knew Phyl's father) almost to say to me "I delivered you from that, what makes you think I can't deliver you from this". It was a DUH! moment.
God's worked a lot in my heart the last few days. Even when I was nervous and He knew I needed reassurance. And He loves me, what else do I need to know?
Romans 5:1-11 1Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3Not only so, but we[c] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
9Since we have now been justified by his blood, how much more shall we be saved from God's wrath through him! 10For if, when we were God's enemies, we were reconciled to him through the death of his Son, how much more, having been reconciled, shall we be saved through his life! 11Not only is this so, but we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation.
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praying for you ((HUGS))