Someone said that to me today. "that's what I love about you, you're not fake".
If they only knew. How many times I hold my tongue when I want to say something, how many times I shut up when I know I should say something.
If they only knew that sometimes my stomach hurts because of things I'm holding in.
Sure, a lot of times, I say things that need to be said, I walk out of church because I don't think it purtains to me. Sure, I do all those things.
But what about the times when I want to tell someone that I care about them more than just as a friend? And I don't.
What about the missed opportunities I have to tell someone about Christ, and I don't?
What about the times when someone says "are you ok?" and I'm too afraid to trust them to tell them the truth?
What about walking out of a place holding back every tear I have because I don't want to appear weak, and alone?
Sometimes, I feel like if people really knew me, they wouldn't like me so much...
Phil 1:17-19 17The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.[a] 18But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
If they only knew. How many times I hold my tongue when I want to say something, how many times I shut up when I know I should say something.
If they only knew that sometimes my stomach hurts because of things I'm holding in.
Sure, a lot of times, I say things that need to be said, I walk out of church because I don't think it purtains to me. Sure, I do all those things.
But what about the times when I want to tell someone that I care about them more than just as a friend? And I don't.
What about the missed opportunities I have to tell someone about Christ, and I don't?
What about the times when someone says "are you ok?" and I'm too afraid to trust them to tell them the truth?
What about walking out of a place holding back every tear I have because I don't want to appear weak, and alone?
Sometimes, I feel like if people really knew me, they wouldn't like me so much...
Phil 1:17-19 17The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains.[a] 18But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.
Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, 19for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance.
Comments
We're all in a learning curve .. not one of us still breathing has arrived, we're striving and working on letting God change us into the people HE wants us to be. The fact you admit to this on your blog says a lot about what God is doing in your life.
So, what do we fakers do? Admit our guilt, accept forgiveness for what God already knows about us, get up and go on, doing the best we can with right now and later and tomorrow if God gives us that.
You're growing in Christ and that's a really good thing!