When it's hard...

I thought about Sara's post the other day on the way home...

When is it hard to feel the presence of God?

When I'm selfish. When I put "me" before everything and forget who "I" am.

I see God in so many things... in a little things and big things, and if I am going to be completely honest, I see Him in more little things than I see Him in big things. Which is something I had decided that I needed to work on this year.

The only time that it is hard for me to see God is when I can't get out of my own way. When I act like a snit or a brat. I feel the presence of God almost everywhere I go. I hear His voice, and I feel the Holy Spirit almost all the time. I consider myself blessed beyond belief!!

Almost everyday I wonder why God would choose to save me. I wonder why it is that a powerful, wonderful, almighty, ALL mighty God would say "Child I love you". And honestly, I don't understand why people don't look to the heavens and say "whatever You want Lord". Because it seems to me that when I put my own needs first, when I say it's all about me, that's the times I don't feel right, like the Holy Spirit gives me constant indigestion. There are only a few things or maybe a few times when I know it's right to say "for me".

We are about to leave for our Winter Retreat for the weekend, well, we leave this afternoon and we return home Sunday. I can't wait to see the formation of the students' hearts. I can't wait to see God literally move their hearts closer to Him. I can't wait to take sometime for myself for a walk in the woods or some real alone time with God, in the middle of a beautiful place, even in the cold. This time is for them, however, I know that if I open my heart to Him, and all (ALL) His glory... I will be blessed, I know this because I already am.

Psalm 9:1-2

1 I will praise you, O LORD, with all my heart;

I will tell of all your wonders.
2 I will be glad and rejoice in you;

I will sing praise to your name, O Most High.