Boundaries

I'm a boundaries kind of person. Meaning I like structure. I like tradition.

Youth ministry often pulls me out of my comfort zone. And I like that.

But lately the boundaries I'm talking about are with people. Some may call them walls. I've built walls my whole life, only to take them down and have people run all over me, and then... I build them back up, higher and thicker than before. Runs in my family, my grandfather was a brick layer, in the true sense of the profession, and I am a brick layer in a emotional sense.

Sometimes we build walls to try to protect ourselves from pain. Sometimes we build walls to keep people out, and sometimes we build walls not to keep people out but to see if someone cares enough to knock them down. But I have just decided that one wall that is about to be built is to protect someone else and my view of them. You see, this person is a "leader" in my life. But lately, all I see is the kinks in his armor, because I am way too close. I always say that someone can't make you feel a certain way, but this person really does cause me to sin. He does many things that he knows will "get on my nerves" and selfishly he continues to do them. And so in order to maintain his "leadership" role in my life, a boundary must be set. A "wall" will be erected in his honor.

I've had a book for awhile, Boundaries, by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend. Its the next book I am going to read (and finish). My hope is that God speaks to me in a way to help me and to help the way others see me.

2 Chronicles 14:7 "Let us build up these towns," he said to Judah, "and put walls around them, with towers, gates and bars. The land is still ours, because we have sought the LORD our God; we sought him and he has given us rest on every side." So they built and prospered.

Comments

Sara said…
what a smart post. :) and i think this may be only part 1...
Constance said…
THAT is one of the best books I have ever read!!! Some people think that setting boundaries is unChristlike but I have to tell you that book was liberating! As a result, Dave & I have set structured boundaries with his brother and his wife. They are the 2 people who get under my/our skin like no other! By limiting the contact we have with them we have been able to preserve the relationship. The nice thing about setting boundaries is that YOU have the power. (I say that not to imply that we don't allow God to be in control). We have the power to maintain the boundaries or loosen them up should the situation allow. This book was empowering!
Connie
Margie I miss you too! Can you believe only 3 more months! I will be home so soon:)