Chunky

The words we use can cut people like a knife. Worse than a knife because the wounds from a knife can heal but the scars from words can be reopened again and again.

My friend Beckie gave me this, it's
on my mirror in my bathroom.  I AM
God's masterpiece!  He made me
BEAUTIFUL!

She called me chunky. I’d like to actually believe when she said it she didn’t mean to hurt me. There was a lot of things said that day that were completely hurtful, and actually I didn’t think much about the chunky comment (probably because I was so hurt by the other comments) until yesterday…

I ran into JCPenney last night to pick up my catalog order and decided to do a little retail therapy. I decided to treat myself with a few new tops because I need some new winter clothes. When I started my new job it was in the summer and so I bought some new stuff, but I need some winter tops because mine are a little raggedy.

And the only reason I decided to buy myself a new top or two was because I was going to hire someone to clean up my veggie beds for winter… but the weather was so nice on Sunday that I did it myself, I was also having a really hard day and being out in the sunshine and working in the garden often helps me, even if I cried almost the entire time. I decided that I would treat myself since I did it myself.

I got some really cute tops, a sweater, a fancy top for Christmas party, and a few just cute tops for work that will also look cute with jeans. I didn’t try them on in the store because I was kind of in a hurry. So I tried them on when I get home, since I am going to be near the mall tomorrow in case I needed to take them back.

I tried them on. I didn’t like most of them (the way they fit and I know it will be fine when I get a bigger size :/) and then I heard it… instead of the voice that tells me that I am pretty and beautiful, I heard, it…

“You’re chunky”

And waves of mass destruction hit me. I literally had to start quoting scripture to myself… Yikes. And remind myself that Jesus doesn't see me as "chunky" He sees me as beautiful and wonderfully created! 

I can say that the comment made me want to get “unchunky”. That comment will ring in my ears for quite some time, it might even become my victory chant. It reminded me to make a good choice for breakfast this morning, and will help me make good choices for the rest of the day… I will get on the elliptical this evening (I tried this morning but I couldn’t get out of bed).

I still am down from the summer, a lot of my pants are a little too big, my weight and “chunkiness” does not define me, because I don’t let it.

Remember, our words can bring life or death to people.

For the record, I forgive that person for hurting me. I don’t think it was intentional (at least that’s what I choose to believe).

Choose wisely the words you use today.

Eph 4:29-32 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.