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| From the book "you're already amazing" |
I was told a long time ago that I’d write a book by God. Does that seem weird to you? It should. It seems weird to me. I mean seriously weird. I could list all the reasons why it is weird. But God said…
I wish that I could tell you that I have some fabulous gift that my whole life I worked on, that I knew about this gift and I worked hard to get here since I was a small child. But instead… I started a blog. And faithfully I write. I write about my crazy life, and find scripture, God’s Word, that speaks to me, it’s relevant, and it helped me to learn it. Sometimes I write about the randomness of my life and sometimes about some really big lesson, or even sometimes the pain of my life. I know that a lot of people don’t understand why I would put my “junk” on my blog. But it’s real. I often wonder who reads it and why. lol.
I could tell you that sometimes I am soooo overwhelmed by the thought of writing a book. What should I write? I only write about what God tells me to write about. He has told me to go away for a weekend to write… so I am planning it… to find a place in quietness and nature. I often wonder, what if one person buys it? What if NO one buys it? And God said to me, it’s a successful if I write it. Wow. Be faithful He says. I will complete a good work in you.
I know that I have gifts. I never really thought those gifts were much, but when I see them in others, I think they are fabulous. So why don’t I see that in myself? Because I have listened to people who have told me I am “less than” or I didn’t fit into their mold. I have one person in my life, that I really do think that I am the biggest disappointment EVER but I can’t help that I wasn’t what people expected. I take responsibility of the many mistakes I’ve made, but I know that God has SO used that for His glory, and somehow turned my screw ups into a shiny star.
I constantly read that little “you with the fishes and loaves” that I typed out from Holley Gerth’s book “You’re already amazing”. Speak life into yourself, Margie. And let others speak into you as well, and believe it! And then, pour that love into others! I struggle so much with not thinking I’m good enough to be worth anything or do anything significant for God or really anyone else… what great talents do I have that everyone else doesn’t? Well, with the exception of cooking good, quality food, for massive amounts of people.
I have no idea of what will happen, I just know that I need to follow what God says to do. There are a lot of things I’d like to do… I’d like to go back to school, I’d like to lead a small group, I’d like… did you notice? Those are all things that start with “I’d like”… God says… “do youth ministry, and only youth ministry, take care of the orphans, and love those around you. I have those dreams, and some day they WILL come true, but not yet, not now. Oh to be faithful in obedience. I long to be faithful and obedient. Moving forward… with love and life.
Eph 4:29-32 29 Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30 And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
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