I’m busy.
It’s my MO.
Busy girl. I should say it WAS my MO. I’m changing because my heart is changing!
It’s been an absolute crazy couple weeks. It is a way that I learned to deal with things. I stayed busy in order to “deal”, it was the escape of feeling. Well let me tell you, I’ve learned to love the quiet times in my life. I’ve fallen asleep more times than I can tell you lately just talking with God, because it’s the sweetest time I have.I am one for preparation. Honestly my brain is always “on”. I’ve found myself tired, we’ve had a lot going on lately! I found this crazy feeling that my fruit was rotting. I was trying so hard to be positive, but I just kept thinking “what is wrong with you??”” You meaning me!
While I was spending a lot of time doing good things… I needed some quiet time. I found myself soooo lonely. Surrounded by sooo many people and completely lonely.
How does that happen?
I was praying all week, bringing my prayers and praises before The King, but I wasn’t really connecting with Him, I was just so busy, He’d still bring me peace but it was that exhausted child kind of time, not sitting attentively listening kind of time. The good thing is that it doesn’t take me nearly as long to figure out that “something is missing”.
I’m thankful for my bible time, praying, podcasts, worship music. I’m even thankful for my time that I was busy for Jesus. I’m thankful for the things I got done and the crazy preparation that is going to make packing for Haiti that much easier, but I missed my “attentive time” and I found myself having to say I’m sorry for something that I surprised that I had to say I was sorry for. Thankful for God’s grace and love (and the love and grace of others).
Looking forward to this week of my quiet “be” time.
Lam 3:25-26 The LORD is good to those whose hope is in him, to the one who seeks him; 26 it is good to wait quietly for the salvation of the LORD.
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