The centurion replied, “Lord, I do not deserve to have you come under my roof. But just say the word, and my servant will be healed. (Matthew 8:8 NIV)
I used to think that putting myself down made me humble. Boy, was that wrong. I know now that it was just pride. It was my very weird way of gettin people to say that I wasn't. I also had a hard time accepting a compliment. Because... Well.. I didn't like myself. And I couldn't figure out why anyone would say anything nice about me. Somehow I was convinced that I was looking at a reflection of me, but really it was a pile of poop.
Well, finally! I've been freed from the mess!!! I still know that I'm a wretch, because I'm a sinner, but I know and finally truly believe that God loves me and I can trust Him. He created me beautiful, worthy to be loved, an clearly chosen by Him.
That verse. That guy gets it. Jesus - I'm not worthy to be around You, I don't deserve to breathe the same air as you... But Dude! If you say I'm healed, I'm believing You!
That's how I feel. I know I'm not worthy on my own, but if God says "I'm free" (So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed. (John 8:36 NIV)) I'm believing Him! I'm living in freedom! Not going back! If I say some dumb thing out of an old habit, I'm saying I'm sorry (& meaning it) and moving on taking each step towards Love.
It's an amazing thing believing who God says I am! Walking in freedom and thinking "I don't know about all this, but I'm trusting You, and I'm in it for Love, and Love wins!!
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