Life

When I went to Haiti the first time I had seen things I had never seen before and knew that I would return. 

Going last year I saw a little more.

But each time I returned it wasn't that difficult to return to the Starbucks way of life.

When I went to Haiti this time, I really thought I was going to die. I didn't really share that with anyone. I have always prepared my funeral and it's always been a joke but this time I cried thinking this time they are going to use it.

I really thought I was going to die.

I went anyway. I didn't feel like I could step out of the will of God, whatever that was.

I had no idea of what was next. 

I did die. A part of "me" died. The meme part of me. The part that wastes money, the part that embraces "the American way".

Re entry is always difficult because I can't undo what I've seen. But this time it's so different and I can't explain it. 

People keep saying "you're sun kissed" because I'm tan (which is amazing). But the truth is my life has been Son kissed. I feel like God is calling me to a next step and it doesn't seem easy. It seems uncomfortable but it seems that it's going to be awesome! 

Matthew 16:25 For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it.