a love my heart wasn't meant to hold

I don’t remember what day it was.  But I know that exact moment when my heart changed for Haiti. 

Remember, I’ve told you I never had any desire to be in Haiti? I never wanted to go there, and then one day God rocked my world in the middle of my little kitchen, I could not get there fast enough.

But then I got there.  We stood up in the airplane and the airline opened the doors to the airplane and this overwhelming heat hit me like a freight train.  What in the world did I get myself into?  I’m already sweating!  Then they crammed us in a small tram to the craziest airport I’ve ever seen in my life, everyone is screaming, and I’m trying to get my luggage.  Did I mention, I was SOOOO hot!

We took a ride to the orphanage and I was just so overwhelmed.  It was crazy and I was in love with the kids already but it was SOOOO hot!  We went to bed and it didn’t seem to have cooled off at all.  I laid on my air mattress with pools of sweat.  I thought ok, you can do anything for 6 more days.  And then I caught myself or God caught me, this was nothing something I was supposed to endure, it was supposed to be something I’d love.  I knew that. I fell asleep crying, asking God to please change my heart. 

My friend Jessie took this picture! 

I woke up in love.  I found myself in The Word, Journaling, smiling, and loving everything about Haiti. 

In 51 days I leave for my next trip.  It will be my 5^th team in Haiti, my 4^th time there, and it’s my 2^nd out of 4 trips this year. 

I am beyond excited and scared out of my mind because I still have a balance.  But it will all work out, I know it will.

There is so much to look forward to, the SUPER hot weather (yes, I actually look forward to it now), the kids, doing new things, learning about new people (nothing brings you closer – or further apart than a mission trip).  I don’t know how it happens but every single time I go to Haiti, I fall more and more in love with the country and the beautiful people.

I was standing in that same kitchen when God called me to Haiti just smiling, it’s been quite a journey!  Crazy, up and down, loving so much that I can barely believe my heart can hold it all, and it doesn’t it, all that love that God gives me, it gets poured back out into someone else.

51 sweet days to prepare for another amazing adventure.  Truly it’s not easy but it’s worth it and awesome!

Isa 1:17

Learn to do right; seek justice.
    Defend the oppressed.^[a]
Take up the cause of the fatherless;
    plead the case of the widow.