It’s been 17 years.
I’ll never forget the day that I looked over at Phyllis and
she wouldn’t lean on her left hand and it was swollen, I happened to look at
her little tootsies and her right foot was swollen.
It was a Saturday and the Wolverines were playing… someone…
so off we headed to the Emergency room at Oakwood Hospital. She was 4, and I was 24 and I didn’t know
much back then. It had been a crazy
month and she had been sick and lethargic for about a month and the doctor kept
saying she had a respitory infection. Which
as a momma I knew she didn’t but I was so young, I didn’t know to stand up the
to doctor. (that was a lesson I learned
hard and fast)
It was the craziest of days, they ran tons of tests, and
didn’t diagnose until the morning, we had stayed overnight. And we stayed for a week. It was crazy.
I was on my way to work today, having quite a conversation
with God about this. I thought about my
friend Julie who’s son has cancer, but he’s kicking it like a boss! I thought
about our personalities.
And how we are
fighters, we are spunky, but super loving when we need to be. Super momma bears. Our capes are hidden beneath the tears that
most don’t see.
I was thinking about we find out how strong we are when we
are put to the test, but mostly we find out how big our God is when we give it
all to Him to take care of and let Him guide us.
I was thinking about how in this season of Looking for
Emmanuel, I see Him everywhere. I see
Him in the days that have passed and I see the light He has to guide my path as
I seek Him every day.
I can’t look back at those years of fighting JRA,
duking it out with doctors, fighting
with insurance companies, threatening to kick people’s butts over prescription
medicine and say that it is something I would choose to do, surely, I would have
chosen a path that was free from strife, free from pain for my daughter, free
from giving her shots, free from a lot of things. But I look back on those years and think of
my friends who prayed faithfully, for bosses who were supportive and loving and
kind. My dad took Phyllis faithfully to
get her blood drawn because I couldn’t, and he supported us in ways this side
of heaven I will never know. I think of
people who I knew were going to be there…
I am thankful for those who loved my daughter and treated her like
everyone else, and those who had compassion.
I think of a God who is faithful. He never ever let us go, He gave us hope when
no one else could. Do you know that only
about 15% of kids with the kind of a JRA have ever go into remission? Yes, oh yes, she did. And there was little hope for that because of
how it ravaged her body.
I am thankful to see Emmanuel everywhere I look.
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