For most of my life as a Christian I served in a capacity that was "easy". Spaghetti dinners, organization, administrative stuff, loving teenagers, feeding people. Truly I have been blessed with some great gifts and I've embraced them with all I have. I have lived a life that has been beautiful. It may have been beautiful but it was easy.
You know what's not easy? When God asks me (tells me ) what's next. And it's something that's just something that I can't control. First He asks me to leave my church but doesn't tell me where to go. I have to pray, listen, follow. And it wasn't easy. I "landed" at a church THAT I ALREADY KNEW and had been to, really, God? You couldn't have just made it easy and given me the plan? COME ON!!!
Then He tells me to start a community garden but He doesn't tell me where and didn't send a check to pay for the supplies. And sometimes I have to stuff a sock in the mouth of fear!
What if I don't raise the money? (I'm selling these tshirts http://www.letloverule.com/detroit_love )
What if I can't find a place?
What if no one helps me? I don't think I can do it on my own!
Water source? What if it doesn't rain?
What if the plants don't grow?
But God...
I always say "here I am, send me"
And He said "go"
So I'm going, stepping out in faith, wondering how it's gonna work out. Clearly i have no idea.
I feel like it's the year of obedience.
Do things that are out of my comfort zone. (Yuck)
Submission.
Lack of control
I often pray "dear God work in and through me"
It's a different kind of prayer, I want to become stronger in Him and have faith that's the size of a watermelon instead of a mustard seed. I want to become dependent on Him and stop walking around in my strength (which isn't much).
It's been quite a ride... But pretty awesome!
Here I am... Send me!!!
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