On Saturday I was in quite a mood. I went to starbucks and got a tea, and it was
wrong, which didn’t bother me, but the barrista at the window, her attitude
made me crazy, then I went to get my nails done, but I had the wrong appt day
(ugh!) but I decided to make the most of it and go to Target to take care of a
few things. I realized something might
be wrong with me when I almost started to cry because I couldn’t find the sweatshirt
I wanted (NO! it wasn’t that time of
the month).
Then Sunday I was super stressed out over… donuts. And when
someone said barked at me about coffee, I told them if they were so concerned
about it, to go make it themselves… It’s
true. Yes. That happened. At that point,
I knew I really needed to pray. Yes, they were crabby about their coffee, but I
could have handled it much better.
After getting my nail done on Sunday, my friend and I went
to dinner and then to Chris Tomlin. I can’t tell you how refreshing it was to
spend time with my friend, Chris Tomlin certainly was a bonus.
My heart was really feeling so much better and then as the
worship event began, I could really feel God speaking to me on so many
levels. But I still kind of was stressed…
I wondered, in this place, what is bothering me?
So during the Chris Tomlin worship concert, he said
something… He never asked God to make
him famous, he never asked to play for large crowds. He asked God to let him do His (God’s) will,
that his life would always be available for God to use.
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| Photo from here |
And there it is. I
have been so stressed (silently) about this garden. What if I don’t sell enough shirts? what if I
can’t raise the money?
Well here’s the truth, God doesn’t need me to raise money
for His garden. He made vegetables long before I was even born. He doesn’t need me to raise money, HE is the
provider. And in that moment, my heart
changed. God I want to be available to
be used by You. Whatever You need me to
do, I’ll do it. Plant vegetables, sell T-shirts (probably going to do a second
run because I’ve had quite a bit of more interest), I’ll meet with investors
(donors but I think they are INVESTING in a community), we will have a
spaghetti dinners, fill out paperwork, I will plant, and seed, and weed, and
water. And mostly, I will love. I am available.
I met last night with a great man of God and we talked about
the garden and the plans for it this summer, and I am excited!!!
Please Lord, just use me, I just want to do what You want me
to do. I’m a mess so I will be perfect in the dirt. I loveYou.
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