I sat in church today, as I have often done on Mother's Day trying to fight back tears. 
I was so very thankful. Today as I drove to church, I asked God, kind of begged Him, Please don't let me cry today. Haha! To be honest the last few times I've been to church lately I've cried. Just joining a new church, it's embarrassing. Lol but moved, I just can't help it!
Now we all know I'm a crier, I ain't foolin' NOBODY! And yes, I miss my momma. But I have absolutely so very much to be thankful for. I don't know if I've ever really accepted that I was born to be a momma. And half the time I had no clue what I was doing lol. I knew to give big hugs, make food, push hard, and fight fiercely (and buy toys lol).
We had little money as my daughter grew up and I'm sure there were moments (and still are) that she knew she'd have to do without. Which really is how life is for a lot of people (not just single moms).
I asked God today, please fill the void of missing my momma. If not for everyday but for today. Nobody needs to see that. And by the time I turned onto dragoon, my heart was filled with joy!!! Thank You Jesus.
I thought this is gonna be a good day, we had pastries from Mexicantown bakery, I ate a cheese tamale (don't judge me, I can't eat flour)... It's gonna be great, and don't forget - THE DISHWASHER!!!!! It's gonna be good!!!
Then it happened... My pastor started talking about how mothers sacrifice. Good gravy. I'm listening to him talk about his momma and I'm so inspired! And then I start thinking of my momma. Oh jeez. Come on Margie!!! Hold it together! Do not cry!!! You can do it! Ok get a Kleenex. Just wipe away those few tears. You can do it. It's just a few. No sobbing.
Yeah. No. Then the last song started... And I started really praising God for my momma, my sacrificing momma. Then I started thanking Him for Phyllis and by His grace, making me a good momma, a hard hugging, great cooking, fierce loving momma. Now you know me, praising God. crying. Jeez.
So happy Mother's Day! Whether you're a child of a momma ( which surely you are) or a momma, or someone who loves like a momma!
You are loved and cherished.
I guess there's always next week to try not to cry!
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