I've had a headache for 4 days.
Another thing about me is that I don't like to miss church. Like I even go on vacations, cuz well, I'm weird. I like to learn about the Word of God I like to be inspired and grow.
Thursday I could have took a pretty educated guess that my blood pressure measured in epic proportions. My eyes went blurry and I've been on the verge of crying since then. It's been kind of terrible. I kept finding myself wanting to retreat when lets face it, there isn't time for that.
And if you know me, I'm an all or nothing kind of person, so I was ready to chuck everything to the wind but that's not practical. And God has been teaching me "process". It's not enough to repeat the fruit of the spirit, it's not enough to KNOW the fruit of the spirit, they must be lived.
I felt so much God saying "rest" and let's face it normally I don't listen. But blurry vision and headaches made me listen.
So going to church and resting are sometimes in deep conflict for me. When I'm at church I like to serve whenever/wherever needed and that makes it hard to rest. So I went and visited another church. Woodside Detroit. I had never been there before and some friends of mine go, so I met them there.
It was just what my heart needed, after singing two songs (without crying heart wide open) I realized my headache was gone and the stiffness in my neck. Praise the Lord!!! The service went on, I hate to say it was "good" but the pastor brought a good Word.
On the way home, I felt a draw to the garden. I took a quick right and drove up "like I belong in the neighborhood" as a friend said to me. Haha! I thought "I don't?".
I went and looked at the garden, evaluated what was there for tomorrow's dinner and what we can give away, and my friend Angelo walked up. They are always giving me a hard time about how I come around the corners on two wheels.
Angelo and I talked for awhile. We ended up talking about his momma. And God just spoke to me and said "say this". Now I know that's weird. But my heart was full, and I said it to him. He said "I'm really gonna think On that". It wasn't me so I have no idea how God will use those words. We hugged and I prayed for him as we hugged and we went our separate ways.
People ask me how the garden is going and usually I just say it's fine. Because it is. I don't always know what to say because it's not like I give 100s of pounds of produce away. It grows and I give it, people from the neighborhood pick it and eat it. I've had long discussions about God and things like school with teenagers. There's been taste testing by kids who never ate a pepper or people who've never seen a cucumber that wasn't waxy. We've had small talk and deep discussions.
We formed community in that garden, we've learned about each other, and God and we've loved.
One thing I've always said about that garden, it's from God and I can't mess it up because He's been growing vegetables before I got to this earth and He will keep on growing them.
Today on this bright sunny day, as I left the garden I thought if all this work, fundraising, digging, shoveling, watering, harvesting, if it was all for that moment with Angelo to remind Him he is loved by God, then it was all worth it.
There's nothing better than Love.
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