Mailboxes and dreams

This mailbox. 

I love it. 

Who loves mailboxes?

I love that I walk to it and drop off cards to people I love. 

I love that it reminds me of my gram and we would walk to the mailbox after dinner to “make room for dessert”…  and how did she ALWAYS have a fresh “Heavenly Hash” ice cream that was my favorite EVERY time I came to visit.  It was like magic!!!

 I think I’m working on seeing the beauty of every day.  Its really easy to be in a place I’ve never been before and be in awe of it, but sometimes it is a little more difficult to see the beauty in the every day.  It’s easy to be so busy in the every day to walk past a flower on my walk. 

I’m a planner, I think it comes from always feeling like things were out of control when I was younger. The death of my mom, the fear of losing my dad.  Fast forward to a whole lot of garbage.  So the easiest thing is to “control” the situation.  Which in some ways only made me crazy, because we can’t control anything.  LOL

I’m going on a trip (Uganda), to a place that I’ve never been to, with people I don’t know that well, and leaders that I trust but don’t know that well (I wouldn’t go unless I really trusted them), doing projects that I haven’t planned.  Sounds nuts to me, and completely wonderful all at the same time!  (Welcome to the crazy in my over thinking brain)

I’m not really planning past Uganda.  I’m dreaming but not planning, those are not the same thing, and it feels good.