Ive had planned that I was going to Philly and
Maryland and Delaware this weekend. Ive
wanted to go to Philly since I saw… Creed.
Don’t judge me.
I booked my ticket ($56) not even knowing if I was
going to be able to go with all that is going on with my dad. To be honest, I need to get away. So… I
booked it. I get a little crazy if I’m
not trippy.
I started watching the weather and it looked like
A.LOT.OF.RAIN. I decided that I would
forego my trip, forfeit my $56 but not spend $500 between hotel and car (that
doesn’t include starbucks cups and food.
I did my normal every other week gig and spent time
with Jenny while she did my nails and we drank tea together.
I had to run to Kroger to get chicken for serving
at Roosevelt Park and I needed some kool aid (juice).
It was kind of a stressful morning trying to get
the food prepared and I wasn’t feeling much joy about serving (which is very
unlike me) so I left to head to the train station and I was supposed to pick up
Ernie but I was running out of time so I called Ernie and said “sorry man, can’t
come get you” and I felt like a jerk.
Somehow (it only takes 20 minutes to get there) I made up 5 minutes so I
was able to call him back. Let me tell
you, by “somehow” I mean I was driving like a bat out of hell. I did pray on my way “God, you’ve had this
day planned, please give me joy”. That’s
it. Turned on Stevie Wonder’s “as” and drove (crazy)
I picked up Ernie and we chatted (really I rambled
on) we got there and I started to feel “at ease”. This is not a regular gig for
me (only 4-5 times a year) so I always want to make sure I follow their
ministry guidelines. I rolled
plasticware, chatted, met Claude and had a good day. Mostly everyone else did the work (HA!) my
back was hurting a little and I was trying not to push it.
So… here’s
where God really showed up for me. Ernie used to sleep in Roosevelt Park. Karen
(it’s her ministry) fed him and loved him.
He looked over at me and asked if I thought she’d remember him. I said “I don’t know” I had no idea. Outside
of kids in my ministry, I only sometimes remember those I serve (what an A-hole
I am – I KNOW – makes me want to barf thinking about it). So he asked her.
I wish I had my phone and I could have recorded
it. It was one of the most beautiful
things I’ve ever seen in my life. He
smiled. She smiled. She looked at him,
really really looked at him, through the eyes of love, and I watched her face
light up, she said yes. Let me tell
you.
If I can be like anyone when I grow up. I want to be like Karen. She doesn’t just say that people matter to
her, she means it. She LIVES it. They
talked for awhile and I was just watched them. It was the most beautiful thing.
They talked about the old days and she beemed with how proud she was of him
that he serves at MBK. And he did too. He’s come a long way from sleeping in
the tent at Roosevelt Park.
Ernie is my friend, and I am so thankful for
him. I’m so thankful for God for joining
our hearts in serving the ones that the world forgets. I’m so proud to be his friend. Ernie is also the only person I know brave enough to point out any mistakes I make when cooking (he's lucky I love him)
As hard as this season is, and as much as I wanted
to get away, I am so thankful that God let me choose to stay here to find joy
in the tough days. He gave me the most
beautiful view of what my heart could be, if I open it.
I want to be Karen when I grow up. I want to look at people, and know them, and
love them. Really know them and love
them, not just feed them a couple times a month.
I want to live heart wide open.
That’s what I want to be when I grow up.
1 John 3:18-24 8 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God,[a] and God[b] in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
1 John 3:18-24 8 Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
19 By this we shall know that we are of the truth and reassure our heart before him; 20 for whenever our heart condemns us, God is greater than our heart, and he knows everything. 21 Beloved, if our heart does not condemn us, we have confidence before God; 22 and whatever we ask we receive from him, because we keep his commandments and do what pleases him. 23 And this is his commandment, that we believe in the name of his Son Jesus Christ and love one another, just as he has commanded us. 24 Whoever keeps his commandments abides in God,[a] and God[b] in him. And by this we know that he abides in us, by the Spirit whom he has given us.
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