Sharpening my listening skills

I’ve been thinking about something for sometime... 

Have you ever been in a meeting and you’re talking about something and someone starts talking over you, almost like they think they must have a better idea than you or they are in such a rush that they try to solve your issue before you can finish. That they don’t even need you to finish your thought because a) either they can read the script in your head or b) they have little/no respect for you to let you finish. 

Or maybe while in a meeting while someone is talking others are carrying on their own meeting... maybe they think the other people in the room don’t have anything valuable to say OR maybe they just think more highly of themselves than they ought.

To be honest both of those scenarios happen to me A LOT. It drives me crazy. In the last few years I’ve been working on (still working friends still working) about actively listening not just waiting for my turn to talk. I even drop a pause before i speak because i want to make sure someone is done with their thought. (That pause often causes other people to talk over me because they think i don’t know an answer - but i do, I’m just trying to be polite). 

Want to know how it makes me feel? Well you’re here... so I’m gonna tell you. 

Insignificant 

It makes me doubt my abilities and myself. 

I went to a meeting about beginning to mentor someone and every insecurity i have about not being valuable or good enough came rushing in (that anxiety was on 10) someone even took my chair and when i went to get my stuff that was all around my seat they didn’t even think i was valuable enough to say “oh were you sitting here?” Memories of being spoken over or talked over rushed my brain (and heart). It was rough friends, it was rough.

Thankfully i have some good friends who stopped my thought process. They reminded me of my gifts. 

(Side note something i learned recently in racial reconciliation training that in the white church the white male is considered the most respected but in the black church is the black female - I’ll let you just think on that for a minute)

I just want to remind myself how important it is to listen. Way more than speaking. God gave us one mouth and two ears so we can listen twice as much as we talk. That’s leadership, because in listening, we learn. (Also I’m working on walking out my words - doesn’t do much good to talk about a lot of things I’m gonna do if i don’t actually do them).

So there ya have it... That’s what’s on my heart today