I love writing but I know I
need to improve my writing. So I signed
up for an online writing “class” not sure if it’s really a class. How to be your authentic self. One of the things
that trips me up is when I over think when I write.
I have decided a few things
this year, one being that I will be my authentic self. I was listening to a
podcast not that long ago and it talked about being authentic. This woman’s title was “Director of Integrity”. I mean… that’s good. After I heard about yet another Christian Leader
(R.Z.)who has had some major issues (to say the very least) and people say they
knew something was going on but no one came forward. And I had posted on my
facebook about a local pastor who spewed all over the country getting stimulus
packages but yet accepted one for his church.
I took it down because people made comments. After the press came out about R.Z. I decided
that I will no longer be quiet when I know there is an integrity issue I will
not be quiet about it, even if people get upset about it. Because that is not my most authentic self.
You see, I dream of so many
things. I dream of being the Director of
a community center. I dream of community
gardens in the city, where families can grow vegetables and feed their families
while learning about how veggies grow, the greatness in growing our own
food. I dream of a haven where kids can
come and thrive in peace and have fun!
To teach kids to cook yummy healthy meals.
I dream of writing a
book. I don’t really know about what,
but I promise, I can write some funny stories about my serving opportunities. And
I have some endearing ones. I have met some of the greatest blessings in my
life because I have opened my heart while serving.
All of these things require that I am authentic.
Sometimes I dream and dream
and dream but I know what I will be asked soon to step out in Faith. And to be honest, I am fearful. I am fearful of failure. I am fearful of insecurity. I know that in my heart, I have seen God show
up in so many ways. There can be no fear in living an authentic life.
I’m working on a few things
this year. My budget, planning, being faithful in the things God has called me
to, I am working towards the next steps in the non-profit, Feed One. I am
working on doing what I know is right, and caring more about being my most
authentic self, than caring what people think.
Years of being told I was better to be seen and not heard, of being disempowered,
those things are not going to change overnight, but step by step, I will work
towards finding my inner strength and becoming who I was meant to be. Authentic.
When I think about
overcoming my fears and being authentic, I think about how many lives will be
changed, especially mine. I would be
insane to think that living my dream wouldn’t be hard, but I’ve learned that
the hardest things bring the most growth which, in turn, bears the most fruit.
As I work towards being my
most authentic self and following my dreams, I will be writing and feeling and
it may be hard, but IT WILL BE WORTH IT.
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