So by now most of you have figured out my given name isn't Margie. There have been a lot of different ways people have found out and each time i laugh. I hate my given name. I'm named after my grandma who depending on the time in my life i think of her, it can either bring joy or sadness. I don't think i ever lived up to what she "thought" I should be. For a long time that haunted me. But now i embrace it.
My name means pearl. Which i always hated. I mean "pearl" why couldn't it be "diamond" who doesn't want to be valuable? And pearls seem... understated.
Until.
Until you look deeply at a pearl. It starts out as an irritant. I mean, that's me, right? Most people do not have a good first impression of me 😂 but after some time, they turn into something beautiful.
I have always been different. When i made my first communion i didn't want to wear a white dress, i mean, i think they were lucky to get me in a dress at all. But me... i showed up in an orange dress (enter allllll the gasps). It's till like that. I don't like confirming. Especially if i think it's dumb. One way or another, I'll do it my way.
Imagine a family full of conformists... and here comes me! 😂😂😂
I'm still like that. I dream big and think it can/should be done differently and if i don't agree, I'll think about the big picture and I'll say "that's fine, you live and die by the same sword, I'll let you choose" and i promise you, I'll make sure i let you know... that's what you chose.
I know my life looks differently than most people, you won't see me on Instagram with my perfect hair and make up, mostly i show up in a ponytail and no makeup, and often I'm too serious but if you know me, i love fierce and I'm fun AND funny.
I've been dreaming some big dreams lately and they seem "non-confirming" like that orange dress. And they seem overwhelming but here I am, dreaming and praying. Hoping AND working.
My name means pearl. Recognizing beauty and worth in myself doesn't and never has come easy. But I'm learning the value of of layers of beauty. How the things/people we encounter become a new layer of beauty.
Hi. My name is Margie, that's not my given name, but that's what i answer to.
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