Safe

 I looked over at my friend Christina and said "do you want to take some chili home?"

The sweetest little girl looked at me with her beautiful brown eyes and still small voice and said "I want to take some chili home"

So of course I scooped up chili and gave it to her momma.  Her momma knows that if her daughter asks, and I am able to fulfill a request, I will not say no.

There were three other kids telling me how much they like cornbread but they know that if there is an event (that they are not attending), they will get the cornbread or whatever they ask for.  And there mom will look over at me with a look that says "you know you don't have to give it (whatever it is) just because they ask" but she also knows...  I will :) as long as she is ok with it. (I don't go against mommas and daddies).  And also of course, they got cornbread... and cookies LOL

do you know why those kids know they can ask me anything? because they know I am safe. They know I will say no if the answer needs to be no and I will say yes if the answer can be yes.  Those children know that I will do what needs to be done to keep them safe (I think they have all gotten the look or "the voice" when I've told them to stop running)

SAFE.

I rarely feel safe.  I am learning to be vulnerable and trusting people so that I can be safe.

Most of my childhood I did not feel safe.  I didn't feel protected or that people could be trusted.  I was raised in such a way that I always had to be prepared and take care of whatever came my way.  This actually is stitched into so many aspects of my life. 

Do you know that I am a human GPS?  Especially in the city of the Detroit.  Literally ANYWHERE and I can get myself out of where I am.  I know where the streets cross, I can even close my eyes and often visualize the area.  You know that is? Because I was taught to always be ready to tell someone where I was in case of an emergency.  Make myself.  Stay ready so you don't have to get ready.

I've heard "be the kind of friend you'd like" or in regards to children "be what you needed as a child'

I strive to be a safe place for my friends, where they can be vulnerable and real and in that I have found good friends that I can trust.  A safe place.

I strive to be a place where kids/teens know they are loved.  No matter what.  They won't always like me LOL but they will know that I have their best interests at heart.  

Safe.