I think that very same thing about myself. I don't get me. I don't get the things i do or why i do them.
I can't figure it out either, maybe I'm chasing a lifetime of love and longing. I really try to do my best to live a life of love. I miss my mother and i barely knew her.
Today she's been gone for 51 years and after some big therapy, it feels different this year. I still miss her and the longing i have for my mother, will probably never go away. I will always wish for what might have been and could not have.
There is no one who loves you quite like your mother. Even if you have a father who does his best, mine could never be a mother to me.
Today i see her in beautiful magnolias.
Today i hear her as the birds sing as i sit by the water in the blooming trees
I see her glimmer in the blades of grass that blow in the wind that feels like a gently calming breeze
No one loves you like your momma
Today i hope that she's proud of me. That she'd smile as I'd tell her how i loved someone today, even if it's in the silliest of wanting to plant a garden of beauty for people. I hope that she'd light up when i came into a room and say "that's my girl"
I hope that the hugs i give have a part of her in them, so that someone will know - she loves me.
Today i wonder what she would have been like as a mom. Would she have made me cookies and treats, would we have gone on walks just to spend time together.
As the warm sun hits my face, there are a lot of things I'm uncertain of, but one thing i know.
She loved me.
And i am who i am because of that love.❤️
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