Waiting and Hope

 A lot of people complain about mammograms.  I mean it's not on my top 10 things to do in my life but I've been having them for a long time... and it's just a little squish!

The worst part?

The wait to get the results.

This year I changed Gynocologists and my new place has a mammogram clinic downstairs and so I can get my PAP and mammogram in the same day.   I really appreciate that the office got me in quickly, and on time.  Dr. Robinson listened and asked important questions.

I have had the tests for the "breast cancer genes" (BRCA1 and BRCA2 )and thankful they both came back negative :).  Even then, I still kind of hold my breath waiting for the results.

I think that most people are a little bit nervous about getting results.  I mean the results can change our lives.  Good and Bad.

There are a lot of truths:

I am thankful that I am able to get a mammogram and it's paid by my health insurance. 
I am nervous about the results
I trust God has a plan no matter the results
I don't want cancer
I wish I could have the results tomorrow
Nothing will change if I get the results next week

I know that when I have some anxiety or fear, my favorite thing to do is be in the garden.  Whether it's planning a garden or pulling weeds, harvesting.  Today when I found myself nervous, I planted 13 different winter sowing jugs.  Mostly tomatoes along with some herbs - basil, thyme, dill, and parsley!  

I also planned out 37 different jugs out.  flowers, more herbs.  Planning for planting, planting,  hoping, dreaming of a beautiful backyard, herbs, vegetables.  

No matter how my day ebbs and flows, I am thankful it always comes back to hope.