Me, God, and a rowboat

Does anybody ever wonder if I'm really ok?

I can pretty much put on a face of "good". Sure there is a point I get to where I can't hold back the tears or the emotion any longer. But lately, I've been in the state of "good".

So if you are really wondering... I'm not really good.

I'm in a row boat with no oars.

In the middle of a sea. In a rowboat with no oars.

This is kind of a first for me.

I typically know where to go, I know where God wants me, where He plans on using me. And I go whereever it is, full steam ahead. But right now, I feel like I'm in the middle of a lake, in a rowboat with no oars. I don't know where to go or what to do or if I should stay right where I am. So I'm sitting here. And I mean this in almost every aspect of my life.

Pretending.

Pretending to be "good".

Wondering.

Wondering where it is God wants me. Besides "with Him".

Where is it that He wants me to go. What is it that He wants me to do? Or should I stay right where I am?

I know that whereever I am, I am willing and I really try to be obedient. So God uses me.

But I don't know where I am supposed to go.

I'm in the middle of the lake, in a rowboat, waiting on God.

Hebrews 6:15 And so after waiting patiently, Abraham received what was promised.