Trouble

I don't know if trouble is the word... but I know it's there.

Being lonely is a big trigger for eating. I often ate alone on the couch watching TV, which is part of the reason I stopped watching General Hospital. That and unrealistic expectations of relationships (seriously, don't cause yourself to stumble in anyway, it's just dumb).

I have a lot of people around me, however, I often feel lonely. I sometimes feel like I have friends and they are real friends, I just don't feel like they are real. They have pretty Christian smiles and they're trying so hard to be positive, they forget to be real. I'm not saying that positive is bad, I'm just saying I don't always believe in fake it till you make it.

Yesterday I went out to eat, made the right choices on the menu but the food wasn't good (note to you... Hula Bowl at Max and Erma's... yuck! I think it was the dressing because the salad part looked good!). Then I wanted to eat something that was. Thankfully I controlled myself because I always say that risk has consequences. And the risk of the french fries has a consequence of a lower (or none at all) weight loss number this week. NO THANK YOU!

My heart is kind of achy... not a good thing when you find comfort in food, but a really good opportunity to reach out to God. To find comfort in Him, which is where I need to go, and I know it.

I've done well so far... 10.2 lbs, jumped over some pretty big hurdles this week. But sometimes when you're standing at the bottom of the mountain and you're looking up and you're only 1/7 of the way there, it almost looks impossible. I know that I have to take one day at a time, one step at a time, but it certainly looks like a long journey! I know, yes, I know, it's worth the view!

Isaiah 52:7 How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!"