Heart wide open!

I've been preparing for my trip and I'm all packed (of course I am) and I have room to spare in my suitcase! 

Gathering all the stuff and getting it ready is a lot of work. But not the hardest part of the prep.

Opening my heart wide open. That's the hardest part.


I really try to live open heartedly, to love fierce, and love big, but often there is a little part of me that holds back because I know that living with an open heart will cause it to get hurt.  When my heart is wide open, I can listen to a song, and find myself crying or I'll send a text to my friends and by the end, I can't see the words because I'm sobbing.  Yes, I probably would walk around crying ALL.THE.TIME if I didn't keep up some kind of guard.  Happy, sad, complete joy, and heartbreak.  Let's face it...  this ain't the movies and no one looks good crying in real life. 


The very first time I went to Haiti I had no idea what I was in store for. And it was amazing and hard. And each time, it was beautiful and hard. This experience will be no different. Just like in my real life i will take good care of myself. I'll make sure talk about what's going on in my heart, I'll journal, I'll spend time with others and by myself. I'll laugh, I'll cry, and I'll let go of all the things that hold me back.

It's hard for me to not know what's coming (I'm not alone in this, right?), but there is peace in knowing I'm going where I'm called, I've honored God in my preparation, and hard work, so I'll walk forward in His grace and love. 

 

This song made me cry today! (lyrics below video)

In Your justice and Your mercy
Heaven walked the broken road
Here to fight this sinner's battle
Here to make my fall Your own

 

Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

 

Let Your love be my companion
In the war against my pride
Long to break all vain obsession
Till You're all that I desire

 

Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

 

And I know Your love has won it all
You took the fall
To embrace my sorrows
I know You took the fight
You came…

 

And I know Your love has won it all
You took the fall
To embrace my sorrows
I know You took the fight
You came and died but the grave was borrowed
I know You stood again
So I can stand with a life to follow
In the light of Your name

 

Turn my eyes to see Your face
As all my fears surrender
Hold my heart within this grace
Where burden turns to wonder

I will fight to follow
I will fight for love
Throw my life forever
To the triumph of the Son

 

And I know Your love has won it all
You took the fall
To embrace my sorrows
I know You took the fight
You came and died but the grave was borrowed

I know You stood again
So I can stand with a life to follow
In the light of Your name

And I know Your love has won it all
You took the fall
To embrace my sorrows
I know You took the fight
You came and died but the grave was borrowed
I know You stood again
So I can stand with a life to follow
In the light of Your name