Strength

One thing I've really been focusing on is getting healthy, being strong.  I don't worry about getting "skinny".  I have skin, that makes me skinny. I want to be strong, so strong that I can admit my mistakes, learn from them, and grow.  That is my goal.

To me being strong isn't about how much I can lift or how much I can endure, I am a single mom, I've already proved all of that. 

Yesterday I had a crazy day.  It was not easy. I actually felt bad because I was not myself... my poor daughter, I think she waited for me to explode because in the old days that's what I did.  I was quiet until I couldn't take it anymore then I exploded.  Yesterday, I just was quiet because I was trying to be thankful in the middle of a kitchen filled with dirty dishes, trying to prepare food that can't have dairy, sugar, legumes, or grains...  All I wanted to eat was some string cheese and a tomato for dinner.  I chipped a starbucks cup and was just plain tired.  Thankfully there was no explosion. 

At some point, covered in gross sink stuff, feeling a little like a failure, I surrendered, I'm not a plumber.  Thank God it's not important to be a plumber, but at least I know the best ones.  I tried. I really did. My best. There is no failure in trying my best. 

I actually started to think of all the times I have beaten myself over being "failing". 

I think the real change came in knowing, I am God's Masterpiece.  He made me just how He wanted.  I was not made to be a drain cleaner...  Apparently He made someone else to do that :)

^{Eph 2:10} For we are God’s masterpiece. He has created us anew in Christ Jesus, so we can do the good things he planned for us long ago. (NLT)

Being healthy to me isn't about just about my body but it is about my heart and soul.  It doesn't matter what anyone says about me, if I know that I've been of good character acted humbly. 

This verse has been on my heart so much lately...

Phil 2:1-4Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, ² then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. ³ Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, ⁴ not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

I will walk with my head held high, knowing that each day I am my best me, growing stronger in my love for others as well as my love for myself.