The Wall of Hurt

There have been many instants that I have been hurt. Good lessons, but I still have been hurt. With each hurt, a brick went up. Sometimes it hurt so much that I put more than one up. Like most people, I say I am an open book, and I will admit that my emotions are generally on my sleeve, but I am not an open book, I let people see the chapters I want them to see.

The problem with this wall? When the view is covered, it's not always easy to see the good in everything. I tend to stand on my tip-toes for my view and sometimes I can only see the yucky things in a situation. Sometimes that is good because it helps me learn a lesson "don't do that again" but sometimes I miss the joy in a situation. I focus on the bad even though I try to see the good, so I take a brick off. Maybe one, sometimes it's just a half. I am trying to improve on the brick building because I don't like the wall, I like a good view. And honestly the wall is not pretty.

A part of me, the smart part, knows that God is COMPLETELY in control, and if I remember that, the wall comes down. It is only when I try to do everything myself is when the bricks go up. It's difficult to have faith, I don't care what anyone says, faith pushes us to challenges that make us uncomfortable, it stretches us, and it means that we have to relenquish control and the attitude "it's all about me".

But with faith comes love and happiness (didn't TFK write a song like that :) ) and grace.

I'm stretched every day in faith. But I like the view.

Romans 15:13 13May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

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