Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, March 16, 2019

Ramblings of my heart

It happens.

When you flip your car or have anything happen to you that you could have died, you think about a lot of things. Except for a contusion ( deep bruise)

Tell people you love them and treat them like you do.

Live your best life.

Spend time with people you love.

Serve others.

Have rental car insurance

Pay for gap insurance 

wear your seatbelt

Don’t yell at the person who almost killed you in a car accident.  It doesn’t change anything and they deserve the same grace that you got when you weren’t killed.

Be thankful

My friend Nyki’s gramma used to say as we left each time... even when we walked to the corner store. I’ll never forget it. 
Be good
Be careful 
God bless you 
I loveyou 

I always knew she loved us.

You know friends after all this I’ll tell you, my heart is a little lighter. Even though It has been quite a crazy couple months and I've got a lot to say. I’ve grown weary of the terrible things said to me. But i made a choice. I made a choice to follow Jesus. And that means i believe that nothing happens without the knowledge of God. It doesn’t happen without His truth to stand on, His grace, and His strength.

We were all born with a purpose. While we all have different talents, i truly believe we were all made to serve others.

I’m thankful this morning as i wake up AGAIN with another day to love people. I’ll live with no regrets if i extend (and accept) grace.

I know my purpose to love and serve people with dorky mom gifts like planning the most ridiculously awesome Easter Egg hunts, serving people ( with people i love) who are hungry the most delicious meal i can as if I’m serving Jesus Himself, and today it’s tacos.

I’ll laugh really big, hug really hard, carry fruit snacks in my purse for my favorite muffins. Whatever it is, I will never be sorry i loved.

Friday, March 08, 2019

It’s a choice

I decided to take today off from work. I don’t normally like to just burn a vacation day but we needed to clean up some stuff at church and i needed to get certified to drive the church bus. And to be honest i needed a day off. The days have been long and stressful. 

It’s a funny thing, i got called to go to the customer but it was a quick meeting and i had the perfect morning of accomplishment a task and spending time with a dear friend. I also got to see my favorite principal in the city and drop off glue sticks and books that she “just happened” to need those two things. 
I got certified to drive the church bus. Sad to say no pictures!! Hahaha! 
I took about an hour and a half and wandered around midtown. I had a gift card i needed to use at City Bird. 

After i got home i prepped to watch some of my favorite kiddos! And got to spend some sweet time putting them to sleep.

The thing is that today wasn’t perfect. Things happened out of my control. But at the end of the day, i won’t remember those things. 

What i will remember is that i had friends who loved and supported me. I had a perfect sunshiny day! I sang a funny song about a whale, i snuggled the sweetest little sunshine muffin. 

We get to choose our focus

I choose love ❤️ 

Wednesday, March 06, 2019

It’s going..

A lot of times i share the great things going on in my heart but the struggles i struggle through.

I have been working out 18 weeks and it’s part of my life, a part i love and ENJOY  more than i ever thought i would if I’m being honest but somedays it’s hard ( like today) but i ate two paczki yesterday. And i know i can’t out run my fork but i know i need to be here.

The truth they were freaking delish and no food shame, i don’t even regret it! Most of the time i eat well, even a day of poor choices has limitations in portion size.

It’s not all or nothing. It’s everything in moderation except apparently for pacZki lol

It’s not always easy but it is always worth it! 

I’m making small changes that will have large long term effects. 

Goals. I got them and I’m moving towards them. And adjusting them as needed.

Monday, March 04, 2019

Sunday’s are the best days

I’m sitting here thinking about yesterday.

The day started out not so great... my knee hurt so bad it affected my mood (i was ccrrrrrrraaabbbyyyyyy)!  We can skip all the reasons why i was worrying.

During the last song (i hardly ever get to stay for that song because i head to set up for students) i reached over to hug one of our kids. He just stood there while i hugged him. I don’t know what was going on in his heart but i do know what was going on in mine. I knew that no one would ever take a picture of it,and I’m thankful for that. But the truth is a closed my eyes and asked God to snap a picture for my heart to carry it with me forever. 

Some of the kids told me how they wanted to learn to cook (see yesterday’s post) and their momma was coming home from the hospital soon, so i asked if they wanted to cook dinner for themselves. So we headed to the store and got food to cook. We spent an hour and a half making food for full bellies. I compared improving cutting skills to shooting “3’s”. 

I remembered the first recipe i ever learned to follow (cooked carrots lol) i thought about how God has orchestrated my crazy life and how thankful i am to live it. 

I don’t know why God chose me to do Youth ministry. Surely someone else is cooler and better suited for it than i am. But i love the kids and i keep showing up and so do they... so I’ll keep at it. I think they teach me and I’m more blessed from it than they are. 

You know when you dream about something and it goes from just a dream to a dream come true? It’s a moment of
Pure joy. 

I know where I’ve been but I’m not always sure what’s next. But this i know. 

God’s Grace is not lost on me.

Sunday, March 03, 2019

Love lessons in basketball

So i decided that i wanted to learn to play basketball. Don’t laugh at me. Or do, i don’t care. 

I went on a winter retreat and i realized i didn’t actually do stuff with the kids, i took pictures (which is important). The thing is i never liked sports. And i wasn’t good at it. Which is probably why i didn’t like them.

I never had to worry about idle time on winter retreats becaUse i was part of set up, the retreat logistics, and tear down. I was in a task position but now my role is different, my role is more relational. 

This goal year (October) i decided i wanted to be better, stronger.

That means mind, body, soul, AND relationships. 

most of my kids are sporty. So I’m order to be more relational with them i need to learn to play basketball (scary for me!)

I asked three of my kids to teach me how to play basketball. Before i asked them i said “don’t laugh at me but i gotta ask you something” and guess what... they laughed. I said “well i can’t play basketball but i can cook a meal with 5 ingredients and a spice rack” and one of the kids said “ok trade for trade”. We teach you basketball you teach us to cook.

What?!? Isn’t that sooooo cool? Learning from each other. 

Isn’t that the body of Christ. Together we are better. And that we love and trust each other enough to say “help me”.

I don’t do anything alone. I need help and I’m thankful to have people i trust to ask. It doesn’t always go great but every day I’m learning to trust God and others.

Sunday, February 17, 2019

Good reminders

So happy Sunday friends! 

I’m happy to announce God once again spoke so clearly during this years winter retreat! 

I learn so much for middle school kids! Yeap! You read that right!

 Maybe i don’t learn but I’m definitely reminded of some things...

Be brave (and honest) for those you love.

One of my girls wanted to do the basketball tournament and you need three. Only one other girl knew how to play, but the other two said “well I’ll play if you teach me”. 

They could have just said no.

They admitted they didn’t know how to play (brave and honest)

And they played. (Brave)

Try new things!

I’m also reminded that what we say (and do) really reflects who we are. 

As someone who loves Jesus, i grow weary. Weary of people who claim to love Jesus but spew hate. They talk about keeping people out when the gospel is inviting. Some talk/act like we should hate people who are homosexual.The list goes on and on... 

I don’t get it. 

When asked what the two most important commandments are, Jesus said “love God, love people”

In case you don’t believe me:

“One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “ ‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.””
Matthew 22:35-40 NIV

I don’t know about you, but I’m glad those are the most important... I’m glad i don’t have to worry about more than that because those two keep me plenty busy enough. And somehow with only these two i still mess it up.

The way i figure it (and admittedly I’m no biblical scholar and i mess up alll the time) I’ll just do those two.
Love God
Love people

However that looks on any given day, and the rest i figure will fall into place. If i get those two right and all the rest wrong, i can live with that. 

This weekend was a good reminder of what’s important.

Saturday, February 16, 2019

Good thing i didn’t drive

Do you ever get sooooo overwhelmed by the thoughts in your head? 

I know that God called me to youth ministry and to be honest i feel much more at ease as a background person, not in the role of hanging out all the time with the kids. 

Anyone who knows me knows I’m not cool and I’m old. A large time on the bus they were talking about Christian rappers. Let’s face it, i got little to nothing. I mean I’ve met those people, sold their merch but i have no idea what tours they were/one and when their lost song dropped. Lol 

Thank God that i didnt drive because when it all started, i was so overwhelmed fight or flight kicked in and i couldn’t fly but then i was stuck trying to fight tears and the overwhelming feelings. 

Again friends, i got a circle. I text my old Youth Pastor and his wife because i needed someone who knew i could do this to pray.

I don’t know why i get so overwhelmed and overcome by feelings of “I’m not good enough” because even though I’m kind of dorky, God made me just the way He wanted and i am enough and even though I’m not gonna play basketball or climb the rock wall someone has to take pictures and document the adventure, right? 

I don’t know friends, these feelings, they are a lot to overcome, but I’m an overcomer! 


Youth ministry isn’t for the weak!