Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Monday, November 23, 2015

God's timing

I want what I want and I want it now...

That has always kind of been my theme. Oh see that.... I wish it were mine. And I go make it happen. And a lot of times it doesn't work out...

Maybe it was always meant I be mine but I rushed it.

Lately I have been equating God's timing to roast chicken. I love roast chicken but there is a certain amount of time we must wait before we can eat it.  It's got to be prepared (all the "chicken business" cleaned out). And then cooked. 

If you don't take the time to clean it out... Well you're bound to get some grossness. 

If you don't cook it long enough...
Raw chicken

Both of those are gross!!

So, yes, I equate chicken to God and his timing. I cook that what I do and who I am.

When I see something I want but I know I should wait, I just say to myself... 

Raw chicken 

And then pray.


Saturday, November 21, 2015

Grace and peace

It's been a long week.... Sure it had the same amount of days as every other week but my heart seemed to be on overload... Every day.

I find it sometimes amusing the lessons God teaches me or the books I feel drawn to right before something is about to happen.


We are in the middle of a series of grace and I think it's no coincidence.

Give it and receive it. Live it

I've seen some really scared people this past week.  When it comes to the world events I can't be scared. I've learned in the last few years that there is a reason why things our out of my control... It's not my "pay grade". I can't handle it. Someone higher on the totem pole needs to handle it.

I've seen fear manifest in many different ways in my life.  I'm angry, frightened, I cry, I'm crabby, I push people away. It comes in so many different experiences. Sometimes I don't even see it coming. But sometimes a light bulb goes off and I ask myself "what are you really afraid of?" Followed by questions like "can you do something about it?" And the one that hits me in the gut "don't you trust God?"

He says we have nothing to fear that He will take care of us, so we either believe him or we don't. I say I believe in God but do I BELIEVE Him?

So this week, I've been reminded of His amazing grace. To give it and receive it. And it reminds me how how much I need Him, how much I love Him, and how much He loves me.

Grace and peace to you.

And... If I hurt you this week, I'm sorry, it was never my intention 

Tuesday, November 17, 2015

My feelings today

It's a little rambly but I wanted to share my heart this morning ....

I have been so saddened in the last few days. I look at my Facebook and I see people I love in fear, I see Facebook full of hate, I'm saddened by people who are afraid to help others who are in grave need.

I'm sad. 

And I don't always express that well.

I grew up in east Dearborn. A city that has the highest population of Arabs outside the Middle East. 

I grew up with people who love God that were Muslim. Who peaceably assemble to pray and to fast during their holidays. I grew up with people who would give you anything and everything they had if you needed it. They take care of their family no matter how far away. Were they perfect? No.

I also grew up in a family that were Christians, where the patriarch of our family (my grandpa) hated people based on the color of their skin. (I'm so thankful for My dad who raised me so very differently than that). I grew up in a family where my cousin was a drug addict and on michigans top 5 offenders list for crimes that lead to feed that addiction. My family took me to church but never really told me who Jesus was. They didn't always live like him either, and sometimes they did. Were we perfect? No.

We moved to Lincoln Park when I was in 10th grade. Talk about reverse culture shock.. Someone asked me in my first week of school if I wanted to chase blacks out of the city, they called it "coon hunting". I was shocked, what kind of alternate universe did I move to? No one really lived out any sort of religion here, except for my friend "mend". She'd talk about church and God but id tell her they were a bunch of freaks. I could  of have been voted "least likely to love Jesus" back then. 

Fast forward many years, after much pursuit by God for my heart, I surrendered my life to Him. It took me awhile to get it. To learn about grace, mercy, and His never ending love.

Did this decision change the way I felt about my Muslim friends? Not one bit, maybe even made me have more respect that they live out their faith.

Fast really forward to current state of the world today. People fighting and trying to deny Syrian refugees who are in desperate need of our help. Our governor and a few others have said "we don't want them here". 

I'm saddened by Christians who are afraid of what will happen if we let them live here. Well, they have been living amongst you for a long time. I'm sad that we've forgotten that Jesus calls us to love, no matter the cost. 

I say with a very heavy heart, all this hate, if I didn't know Jesus now, if I didn't know of His grace, His mercy, I
Wouldn't want that Jesus that lives I the hearts of those who call Him Lord. 

I have friends who have lost family members because they couldn't get them out of Syria soon enough. Today I woke up and wondered how I'd get my steps in, other moms wonder if their children will live or how they will feed them. 

One of the girls in youth group, her favorite scripture was Romans 12:21 “Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.” That scripture is the one that comes to the surface of my heart in times like these.

It is not a religion that brings hate, but the person who carries it in their heart. 
I know I can't convince you that "they" aren't evil, no more than you can convince me that we shouldn't help them. I want to always remember that God wants us to love, even when it's hard and maybe I needed to remember that myself today. 

Love always wins, it has to.


Sunday, November 15, 2015

Go love

It's that time of year when people talk about doing good. We talk about it because maybe we are so blessed that we realize how much we have and we realize that others are without... A lot. Or maybe we realize that it's cold and it's only getting colder. 

Maybe you've seen all the tragedy that is happening on Paris (or Beirut or Kenya). It's awful and disgusting, hateful. 

People post a lot about how sad it is, but I'd like to ask you, if you're reading this, what are you going to do? Is all the sadness and tragedy enough to move you from your phone to do something?

I speak to a lot of people who think that most Christians don't do much. If it fits in our schedule we will do it, if it's one of our gifts or comfortable, then sure... But outside of that, well we are kind of quiet and we post crap on Facebook. 

It's time to stop being complacent thinking nothing is gonna change. Because with that kind of thinking, you're right.

To be honest I don't often know what to do. I'm just some chic who wants the world to be better. Evil makes me sad. It's heart breaking, people with cold feet is also heartbreaking to me. Maybe you think that's dumb but go ahead and go one day with cold feet. You know what else is sad to me? That kids aren't loved. People care more about how they look rather than caring when no one is looking.

Does that mean that sometimes I exhausted (that's what sabbaths are for), does it seems like nothing changes, until... Until I see a smile, or God gives me a little nudge. I certainly don't have it right most of the time. And that's the truth. I miss something or say the wrong thing, but above all else, want to love. Those I know, and those I don't. 

So I pray, and I cook, and I pray while I cook, and clean big lots that seem too big for me, or community gardens, or vacuum in heels... I don't know, but I know you can do something too! You can.  I'm not sure what, but you can, and love is never too small. Even the smallest rock makes a ripple on a pond.

Please today, with a breaking heart, I'm pleading. With you to go do something in the name of love.

Friday, November 13, 2015

Traveling in the sun

I never thought of myself as someone who loved to travel outside of hopping in the car to go up north and even then, I didn't do that too often because I was working all the time or on mission trips or I didn't have enough  vacation time. 

I'm about to leave for St. Louis (I've never been there before) and I'm just like wow... It's been a crazy year!

In January, May, June, and October I went to Colorado.

In March/April I went to Haiti

In April I spent 2 weeks in Germany 

I also went to Mexico for work in January

In July I went up North to Buckley to see my friends!

I went on two Detroit mission trips in July...

Today I'm in no rush. Normally there is a time frame... Today... I'm taking my time :) I hope to get a bump so I can travel more next year :) haha! 

I feel so incredibly blessed to have places to go where i am loved and a place to come home to that I'm loved. It really is like feeling the sun on a perfect day from both sides. 

Monday, November 09, 2015

I have loser friends ;)

I joined a weightloss competition with my “Loser Friends”.  I decided that this time in my life I was going to do things that I could do for my whole life.  Not the crazy things I’ve done in the past that I couldn’t maintain, like the time I only ate chicken, hummus, eggs, toast, green beans, and salad with vinegar and oil while working out 8 times a week (5 days, 3 of them 2 a days).

I will be honest, I almost didn’t join. For a number of reasons, one being that I am not going to win.  I just am not.  My friends are true competitors and they will win, me, I just want to be a better me, and I’d have to be crazy to win, and that doesn’t make me better, so who wants to lose $50. Not me.

And who wants to lose more than weight, not me. 

But I really prayed about it, and I joined.

I said “I just want to be a better me, and having friends to encourage me, and I want to encourage them.”

I have to say I really look up to my stepmom who works at weight watchers, but she’s also a member.  She’s kept the weight she lost for a long time.  I’d say her success comes from tracking, being consistent, and portion control. 

So I decided that I would do things to help me be a better me, which means being consistent and positive.

These are the things I did well:
Stayed within calorie count
Snacked on real food
I kept moving and met my step goals EVERYDAY
I ate more veggies & fruit
I didn’t rely on food in hard times
I took my nutritional supplements (vitamins) everyday
I walked at least once everyday
I read the bible everyday
I drank a gallon of water every day
I had yummy protein shakes everyday
I felt good
I was happy for my friends without feeling bad that I didn’t do well
I lost weight (even if it was only one pound)

Week 1 is down, and I am looking forward to being a better me a little more in the next 15 weeks!  Our Loser peeps lost almost 70 pounds of junk!  As I walked this morning, I prayed for all of us, that we have strength and perseverance to run the race set before each of us, and that God continues to work in our hearts to be more like who He has for us to be!

Sunday, November 08, 2015

Happy Holidays

I read this Facebook about how "Christians" are up in arms because Starbucks took Christmas off their cups. 

I'd like to say something that is moderately offensive (so click the 'x' at the top of you are easily offended)...

As a Christian I'd like to say something to those of you who are offended by the "happy holidays" thing. You are not the center of the universe. I'd prefer that if you're going to "spout off" that you didn't say you're a Christian.

First of all the "holiday" season has
More than one holiday during it. 
Yes, there is Christmas, but there is thanksgiving, Hanukkah, kwanza, New Year's Day (otherwise known as my birthday)

You are offensive when you speak sternly about what you believe. Just say "merry Christmas" you can. You know why? Because it's what you believe and what you celebrate. 

Whatever holiday you celebrate I'm begging you... Choose to live love and don't be an butthole. (I warned you about being offensive - you kept reading)

In a hurry - take a breath
Having a hard day - count your blessings
Feeling like something is missing - give to someone else
Feeling crabby - be kind
Someone says "happy holidays, say merry Christmas, happy Hanukkah, happy Margie's birthday" whatever, just be nice. 

Don't drink Starbucks if you don't want to, invest your $5-7 in someone else, buy socks for the homeless, I don't know, buy someone a treat... I don't care just don't be offended, just love someone... Plus I heard their coffee isn't that great anyway (I don't know because I don't drink coffee)