Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Saturday, February 11, 2017

Music of my heart - let it happen


The very first thing I ever made for MBK was cupcakes.  I brought the dessert to the dinner that we served with someone else.  I was thinking of that today as I was making cupcakes for Monday.  I really love making cupcakes.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s faster to make regular cake but I really like making cupcakes and I can frost 24 cupcakes in like 4 minutes.   I don’t do fancy frosting most of the time, just back of the spoon frosting, some fun sprinkles… 

When I turn around and look at where God has me at any given moment, I think about how I just let Him guide me, use me. I didn’t try to orchestrate anything or just try to figure it out.  When I just take each step one at a time and not worry about what the path looks like, when I take in the moment of where I am, just as God intended, things go well for me.  When I remember that God is the director, it really is where I find the most joy and the most peace. 

I’ve got to just let it happen.


Thursday, February 09, 2017

Music of my heart - hidden


This song.  The first time I heard it, my soul took a breath.  Often my life is crazy and busy, but I can sit at the feet of Jesus and breath.  I can look at things that seem way to big.  Overwhelming really, but if I know I am in the will of God, I know I am, SAFE.
Most of my life I have not felt safe.  Always scared of something.  But there is something about the Love of God.  A love so strong that I can’t help but feel safe. 
There is a verse, Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.


When I would worry people would quote that verse to me, and even though I heard the words, they did not penetrate my heart.  And one day, I am not sure when it happened, I came to the point when I believed it. I didn’t just believe in God, I believed Him.
There came a moment when I knew that I could do whatever He asked of me, I just needed to believe it, and believe Him.  Often it seems crazy and nuts, but here I am, I just do what God asks. 

I never know what to say when people ask what is going on?  Sometimes I am just so excited about it all, I want to scream how excited I am.  Like just I was when I first learned about God’s grace.
This song.  My heart.  It’s the words when I don’t have them.

 



There was one when I was young
Who knew my heart
He knew my sorrow
He held my hand
And he lead me to trust him
Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

As I grow
And as I change
May I love you more deeply
I will lean upon your grace
I will reap because your goodness is unending

You are my vision
My reason for living
Your kindness leads me to repentance
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance

But I’ve never known this kind of friend
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend

The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory
The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love


Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows


Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Music of my heart - You make me brave

Music gives me the words when I just don’t have them.

On Sunday we worshipped in church to “You make me brave” it always reminds me of Katie. She said it was the song that she sang before they moved to Colorado. I listened to the song on repeat one day and CRIED THE WHOLE DAY! There were moments, I will tell you the truth, I didn’t think I was going to make it without the Dorbands. That’s just the truth. Thankfully, phone calls, texts, and visits, I still here, probably stronger.

While listening/singing God simply spoke to my heart and said “I know you love them, but I wanted you here” and I know that had The Dorbands stayed in Michigan, I probably never would have left serving with them.

The truth is that I am scared about almost everything. I am always afraid of making a mistake. Do you know that when I make a meal for someone, sometimes I’m even afraid to ask them if they want me to. Like the other day, I dropped a meal off for someone, I didn’t even ask them LOL, I just did it. That way, I don’t know… they couldn’t say no.

Look I know I can cook. The other day we went out to eat, because I was kind of sick of cooking and eating my own food, so we went out (Had a groupon) and then we ate… and I said “I could have cooked way better than this” LOL but sometimes I think it might seem lame to drop off a meal. But it’s what I do. I can’t change that. So I do it even if I’m afraid of something dumb.

It’s in the daily obedience that I am the most anxious. Am I supposed to do this? Does it make a difference? Will my gift of love be looked upon as dumb. I just want to love people in a way that they want/need to be loved.

The craziest thing I've been anxious about is that I really feel like I need to learn to sing.  I am never going to be T-fab that's for sure, but not making people's ears bleed would be great.  I feel like I'm going to have to sing at some point in Uganda, and I'd prefer to do it well or at least not horrible.  I've been sweating over asking for help for a long time, I mean seriously, I cried.   I am such a crier!  The thought of doing something I am terrible in front of people, that's just crazy to me, but how will I ever get better if I don't ask for help?!? So I did it. 

In those moments of pure anxiety, I have to just be still and listen. Let Him speak to me, let His word get into my heart, get pumped up about who God called me to be and what He called me to do!

I stand before You now
The greatness of your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you
King of Heaven, in humility, I bow



Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Applesause Bread


This is one of my favorite recipes.  I make it all the time for church and the other day I heard someone shout "There's applesauce bread!" and my heart smiled.  I love feeding people :)

Enjoy!

1 cup white sugar
1 1/4 c applesauce
1/2 cup vegetable oil (or butter)
2 eggs
3 tablespoons milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 heaping teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt

 Directions
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

In a large bowl, combine the applesauce, sugar, oil, eggs and milk; beat well. Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and salt; stir until smooth. Fold in the pecans. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean.

Saturday, January 28, 2017

Stewardship

I've been giving some thought to stewardship. I honestly thought I did ok with this one, not perfect. But when someone would say "if someone looked at your taxes or checkbook would they know you loved God?" The answer is yes. But in this last month I've been thinking about it... how much I wasted!

Money spent at Starbucks
Food that I threw away instead of freezing
Choosing to eat out instead of eating at home

I've been on a pretty strict budget. Pinching every penny.

An example is that so
Many times when we had leftover buns we would leave them. I noticed that the soup
Kitchen had tons of buns so I asked my
Friend if I could take them and freeze them. The truth is that buns are only a couple bucks, HOWEVER I've been saving lots of $2 to add up to more money

It's been eye opening to me how much I waste and what a bad steward of God's resources I have been. The thing is I know how to stretch a dollar i just got careless. It's been something God has been working on with me.

When it started I thought it would suffocate me, take away my freedom but to be honest, it's done the opposite. It really has been freeing. I always say "you either manage ________ or it manages you" and I'll be honest I think I've needed to take control for some time now. Nothing bad has happened, but there is no point in waiting until it does. It's been so great, and I don't feel restricted at all or that I'm giving anything up. It's been so great!

I'd like to invite you to really look at how you are spending your money and not
Compare to how the world spends their money but God's view and see how you stack up. You might get an A+ rating or you might need a little work (or a whole lot). Don't over look a little here and a little there. It all adds up!!! I saved $57 this month changing my Starbucks routine from everyday ($3 per day) to only going two times per week. I thought I'd hate it but I like making it myself. Less time spent in the drive thru, less money spent... its good stuff!!

I'm thankful God never stops working on me!!

Thursday, January 26, 2017

Dreaming



Do you ever just sit and dream?

Get real quiet and think “what if?”

I am often on the go, but in my quiet time, I think of how I would change things if I could.  And the crazy thing is most of the things I dream about are in my control.  Lately I’ve been dreaming about the garden.  I have been dreaming of apple trees lining the street.  I dream of the existing garden beds and adding to them.  I dream of trying straw bales and potato boxes. 

I dream of people, from all over the area, working together, laughing, sharing their stories.  All ages, all races, coming together to feed people.  Maybe even exchange a recipe or two ;) How great would it be to have an over-abundance of zucchini that there could be a class of teenagers with a leader, MAKING zucchini bread!  Or making applesauce from apples we picked off trees on the property.

I dream these things, not a wish, but a path, because I know that if God sets it before me, He will make it possible for me to complete. 

I’m excited about a next step that’s about to happen to make these dreams come true! 

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

Saturday, January 21, 2017

A lesson in love - a life well loved

When i was a child I had an aunt that was severely disabled. When She was young she lived with my gram and grandpa but with aging parents and her growing needs she had to be put into a nursing home. It was called Madonna. I remember my family had to make her a ward of the state because they couldn't care for her financially but my gram always made sure she had nice clothes visited her and there wasn't a family dinner she wasn't at and they'd bring her home on sundays and other times. We called her "retarded" because that's what they called it back then. No disrespect meant, it was what it was. She was different than us, but we loved her.

I can remember going to Madonna and the smell of urine, I remember being sad to leave her. There are just some things as a child you never understand, and as an adult you don't understand them any better. And that's the truth. I think my faith in God gives me a peace that really does surpass all understanding. I remember that God is good, and sovereign and I accept that He trusts the strongest with His most precious gems.  My aunt was a jewel in our family, she taught us how to love.

I guess in this day and age and I think about how far we've come, and how much further we need to go.  I see people who stand up and fight for what they believe in. They talk about it on Facebook and they get loud and big. You know when people listen the hardest? When you whisper.

From my own experience, when there are loud noise, a back down, back away, and cover my ears. Small sounds like birds chirping, waves rippling, I stop and listen intently at those things.

I am taking a lesson from my aunt today, while her words were very few and far between, her actions and love they made and impact on my life that is forever stamped.

She was the hardest hugger. A lesson I live out. Let my love be silent in words but in strong in action, may my laughter be loud, and may my hugs always be hard!