Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Sunday, January 20, 2019

Bearing fruit

Sometimes.
Life is hard. 

I thought for sure 2019 was going to be the year that i saw the fruit from 2018’s struggle. 

And then my dad ends up back in the hospital and i instantly felt myself start to build a wall of protection. 

Not this again. 

I was exhausted just thinking about it. 

It was overwhelming.

I stood in worship today trying to remember that joy is not a feeling, that it’s a gift, the gift of the affirmation that God is good. 

This song came on


And i just stood there.

Please God. 
Help me. 
God don’t let me be alone. 

I don’t often reach out. I don’t want to inconvenience anyone. 

But today, i was brave and asked for help. I needed people. My life and schedule is insane. Come over while i food prep 😂😂 what an exciting proposal 😂😂but that’s my life and when people ask what i need, that’s what i needed. 

I needed:
To take good care of myself and my family 
To be around people 

And lo and behold! Someone showed up for me. 

We ate, she helped wash my veggies, talked and laughed! Shared stories! 

Today’s fruit didn’t look like i expected but it was fruitful.

He hears the cries of our hearts.


Ask and you shall receive!

Wednesday, January 16, 2019

How Wonderful

so its been like two weeks in the last three days.



Longest.week.ever. and it's Wednesday.  <insert wide eyed emoji here>



Ever have one of those days that's like the song that never ends?



Today I felt exhausted and a little defeated.



Unread emails, undone tasks, as much as I tried to get done, I just couldn't seem to get it all done, even though I got so much done!  SO MUCH!



I started counting up all the things left undone in my life. and it made me feel like shit.



I drove down to Detroit on the Lodge and I realized what a great life it is, even when it's hard.  It was a beautiful day and the sky was the most beautiful shade of blue... and did you notice, I was on my way to the City?



On my way home from the city the song below came on.  I was just so thankful that my value has nothing to do with what I do or don't get done.  There's something WONDERFUL and peace bringing about really getting that deep down.



I'm thankful.




Sunday, January 13, 2019

Some battles aren't mine

photo from here
A few years ago, I was in a battle that I just could not
fight.  I felt like I was always defeated.  I am thankful for a friend who
constantly reminded me that the battles aren’t always mine to fight. 


She gave me a beautiful wall hanging that said “The Lord
will fight for you, you just have to be still” Exodus 14:14


The truth is that is so dang hard for me.  Most of my life I didn’t have someone who
would protect me, so I had to protect myself.

It has made parts of me so hard. Walls built up.  Took years to begin disassembling the walls
that it took decades to build.  I can finally see over them.


It’s still hard not to fight.  No matter what it is that is going on.  I want to throw down like the WWE. 

Recently I had an issue arise and I had to go to people for help.  People that I’ve never had to go to before.  It was difficult and uncomfortable. The whole thing actually threw me for a loop. It dug up a bunch a stuff that I thought I was over, but like the sediment on the bottom or a river, it swirled around me.  Moments I felt suffocated. It was hard not to flail about.  I had to remain calm and trust.

There was crying, praying, reminding myself to remain calm.
I find myself at peace because those people I reached out to, they loved me, and are walking through it with me. I am thankful.  More thankful than I could have expected. 

I’m thankful for those that God has exalted into leadership in my life, I am thankful for God’s protection, and theirs. 

It’s how I fight my battles.





There's a table that You've prepared for me
In the presence of my enemies
It's Your body and Your blood You shed for me
This is how I fight my battles
There's a table that You've prepared for me
It's Your body and Your blood You shed for me
This is how I fight my battles
And I will lift my song of
Praise for what You've done
is how I fight my battles,
This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles, this is how
 
Verse 2:
In the valley I know that You're with me
Surely Your goodness and Your mercy follow me
My weapons are Praise and Thanksgiving
This is how I fight my battles
 
Pre-Chorus:
I believe You've overcome
And I will lift my song of
Praise for what You've done
 
 
Chorus:
This is how I fight my battles,
This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles, this is how
This is how I fight my battles,
This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles, this is how
 
 
Spontaneous:
     Oh Jesus, Oh Jesus   
Calling on your name is how I fight
 
 
Bridge:
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
It may look like I'm surrounded but I'm surrounded by You
 
 
Chorus:
This is how I fight my battles,
This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles, this is how
This is how I fight my battles,
This is how I fight my battles
This is how I fight my battles, this is how



Thursday, January 10, 2019

Goal digger

I want to be a better me! So of course i love to set goals! I’m a goal digger!!

Read the Bible more 
Love more 
Travel more 
Recycle more 
Get rid of more things 
Exercise more


But “more” is hard to define and even harder to achieve!

Isn’t that the craziest revelation??

Read the Bible everyday. 
Serve at soup kitchens 3x a week, cook 1 meal a month at students (instead of pizza)
Choose 1 state I’ve never been to (and go!!) Wisconsin here i come!
3 more Great Lakes (Superior in July!!)
Glass containers instead of plastic
All the odd months get rid of 30 things 
5 days a week i exercise either at the gym or outside 
12 5 ks from October to October! The last two running!!! 

Achievable goals! And I’m clicking them off! Planning and ACHIEVING!!


I am learning i don’t have to worry about others feelings of me, or what they think of my goals! It feels good to hold fast to the things that matter and let go of things that don’t! 

Tuesday, January 01, 2019

Happy 2019!

To resolve:
decide firmly on a course of action.

There are a lot of people making great resolutions because it’s the beginning of the year! 

You may (or may not) know i set my goals in September because of the Youth Ministry School year, it’s a practice i started a few years ago and kept it up. I love it because on Jan 1 i can reassess and see how I’m doing with my goals!

One of my goals is to do 12 5ks from October to October. I’ve done 4 so far and I’m registered for 2 more and I’ve got 2 more in my sites just waiting to sign up! 

See all the Great Lakes this year! So far I’ve seen Michigan and Erie! 3 more to go!

I resolve to do some form of exercise 5 days a week!

I resolve to rest!

I resolve to take good care of myself!

I’m working on figuring out what state i will visit this year! Thinking New England states, Alabama, or Oklahoma! I gotta get on this!!

And I’d like to visit a foreign country just am not sure which one!

Happy New Year!!


Set some goals! And crush them!!

Saturday, December 29, 2018

2019 ready or not

Sometimes i want to run into the new year with great expectation, but this year seems so different. 

I’m walking knowing God will do something. I’m walking confidently knowing. 

The past year i have studied the character of God. I’ve learned who I am in relation to Him.

In all I’ve learned, it always comes back to one thing. I’m loved.

In a lifetime of feeling scared and fearful, i stand here knowing that God loves me and has always provided for me, and protected me. 

I’ve seen people come and go only to discover that not everyone stays for good reason. 

After this last year, I’ve learned i just want to be consistent. There is no need for crazy, there is a need for consistent generosity and love. 

I don’t know what 2019 will bring. I know there is healing needed and freedom is coming.

Today i served at the Train Station (Roosevelt park) and today while making chili i cried and thought “what will happen when Ford moves in? What will happen to those that the world has forgotten?” 

Today, just about an hour ago, i got the answer. The park will remain open to the public and those who have needs will find them met. And Ford donated a van :) to
My friends. And i just thought “of course God, because You never forget those who belong to You”.

So that’s how i know, that’s how i walk confidently, because i know God always remembers His people. 


And i am His. 

Saturday, December 22, 2018

Different Christmas

This Christmas is a little different.

And up until today my new Christmas it seemed like a great idea.

Instead of buying my family Christmas presents i sent them all an email saying “i loveyou but I’m buying food for a food pantry instead of presents” 

I’ll tell you the truth, it seemed like the best idea up until today. When there were no presents to wrap.  I didnt really ask them, i just said “hey this is what I’m doing” which i know my family loves me and supports all my crazy ideas. 

It’s just different this year. And i can’t figure out how i feel about it. Lol

Families will have groceries and my Dream is always to feed people. Some people want to be rich, powerful, and then there is weirdo me... i want to feed people. 

It still feels like the right thing to do just different.


Different is good.