Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, July 14, 2018

Love in a pan

My gram was probably not known for her grand cooking skills. She made the best lasagna (in my opinion) when i was a kid and used the pan shown to make it and she taught me (come to find out hers was probably not the best once i got older).

I’m not the collector of “things” when people die. I wanted her mirror tray that was on her dresser and i was able to get this pan. 

There are a million memories in this pan. I can close my eyes and think of the goodness of my gram. The memories of when i was little and it helps to drown out the not so great memories of her. When she’d tell me i was always too something. Fat skinny loud quiet - the list goes on and on.... I’m thankful for this pan so i can remember the good about her.

Today I’m cooking for people i love so much. It’s an honor to cook for those i love. I don’t deserve them, but yet by God’s grace i do.

Its an honor and blessing to love and be loved ❤️

The noodles sang to me this morning as they filled with yummy cheese sauce ❤️

Tuesday, July 10, 2018

Looking back, looking ahead

When I bought my Equinox it didn't have a CD player, so I got rid of all my CDs.  Except for Chad Dohring's, and I THOUGHT the two Alive Band CDs.  I now have a vehicle (Toyota Rav4) that has a CD player. I was so happy because I could listen to the old school Alive Band. 

I opened the case only to find a different CD.  GASP!  I sent out some texts trying to find someone who had copies... no luck.  what the heck?!?

Something lead me to one box in the basement, and there was the CD.  What in the world!?!

I put it in this morning and a million feelings rushed back with a million memories.  To hear the sweet voices of my kids talk about their faith or where God found them.  To hear sweet Isaac's voice a few more times.  It's a gift.

I've been overwhelmed with the feeling of doing more with my new kids.  And I've been praying about it.  As I look back I feel like it's time to move forward, establish relationships, love deeper.  It takes time to build trust.

I've got a couple days open in my schedule and maybe God doesn't want me to fill it with tasks but with fierce love.

As I look back I think about how God has blessed me with the best life.  And how I can't wait to see what is ahead.

My kids.  They will never in a gazillion years know how much I love them and how much they mean to me. 

Friday, July 06, 2018

Dreams do come true!!

I know dreams come true! 

I have been asking “what’s next?” Expecting God to just plop it in front of me. You’ve got to have a dream if you want a dream come true. 

And you know what i got ? 


I was beginning to grow frustrated.

So i started really praying about it.

How can i use my time, talents, and treasures for You? 

Didn’t come right away but I’ve been dreaming/praying.

So you know ive been praying praying dreaming dreaming dreaming.

It always comes down to this:

Food truck 


A couple different dream about it - but one is always the same.

Feeding children. Feeding hungry children.

“Auntie Margie’s Dream Come True”

Can’t you see it? You can see it right? I can see it! As clear as day.

Drive into neighborhoods like the Diggs and Cornerstone and Brewster and feed kids on the weekends! Have a fruit or veggie of the week to try (because if you try it you might like it!), yummy good fill your belly food.

It’s my dream come true. Absolutely.

I got time (well I’d find it), the talent (He’s given me that), and the treasure (well God’s gonna have to help with that too)!

That’s it folks. 

I wonder how it’s gonna happen! It’s gonna need a miracle. But God’s got plenty of those!

And it will have a book shelf like a traveling library!!! Let’s not forget that!!

Monday, July 02, 2018

What’s next

I feel under utilized. And that is not ok with me.

I drove past an old building that my kids did a mission trip. We painted so many rooms. I remember researching what colors were best for healing and then getting the paint and the supplies so our mission trip could happen. 

I was looking through some stuff and found two old cards the adults/kids wrote in and i started to cry. I know how imperfect i am but i know that God used me in such a way. I cooked, i cleaned, i laughed, i cried (and probably i yelled lol). That was hard work but it mattered. I utilized every minute of my life.

And to be honest i feel under utilized. I don’t need to be needed, i need to be used by God. 

As i looked at that old building falling apart, i was so sad. I wondered if what we did was for nothing. But it wasn’t. We (the kids) lived out their faith in truth and action instead of just words.

I long for that.

The truth is they did all the projects, i just organized them, made sure they had the stuff they needed, and i made sure they ate, slept, and drank.

My kids were true heroes of the faith.

Something is next. I don’t know what it but it needs to be something that uses my talents and treasures. 

I’ve never really been a really "cool" youth leader. I’m just a mom, who does funny mom things, makes sure projects are planned out and makes sure you have what you need, and makes sure you eat. 

I just want God to use me, i want To
Look back on these days and know i used all that He has given me. 

Dear God, here i am. Send me. 

Whatever, wherever, whenever. 

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Lessons from my car

Lessons from my Equinox

I emailed the CEO OF GM because i was desperate. My 2016 Equinox  left me stranded for the 2nd time in less than a year and it only has 61,324 miles on it. That’s really not a lot miles friends, it just isn’t.  I live in the motor city and we drive.

I bought my vehicle because i drive all over and wanted something new and dependable. Something that would keep me safe while driving to some scary places in Detroit while i served or drove to and from serving. I don’t typically lease because of all those miles. 

I decided to go for the GM EQUINOX. (Beware when you see a commercial that says “won awards in initial quality” that just means when it launches - quality really matters at 60k miles not 10k- lesson learned they are marketing geniuses). I worried about buying a GM, it’s an American Automotive company that has been known for some pretty significant recalls. I decided to go for it, i rolled the dice. 

Just like in craps, i lost. (Though I’ve never played craps but this was a lesson i won’t forget.)

In less than 24 hours i received a call from someone who had received my email from
their CEO. Admittedly i was surprised. I was desperate when i sent it, many acts out of desperation go without answer. Wendy listened intently and said she would look into and see what she could do. I got a call the next day. She said there was nothing they could do, “they fulfilled their obligation of the warranty and were not bound to do anything further”.  Disappointing to say the least. 

A little back story. In 2001 i bought a Toyota for $15000. I bought it 8 years before my daughter would turn 16 with the intention of giving it to her. I did pass it along. We had the car for 11 years when it was involved in an accident, the pay out: $5500. After ten years the car held over 30% of its initial value.  
2016 equinox cost $27k. Less than three years later it’s worth $11,500. 

That is a sad comparison, my friends. 

I will keep this car for a few more months, even if the Chevy nameplate has fallen off (even my car is embarrassed to belong to the GM Family) until i can find something dependable. 

Now that I’ve told you all that, you know what I’ve learned, and I’ve learned a lot.

Don’t buy a GM vehicle, they don’t stand behind their vehicles and they don’t hold their value

The executives of the company don’t stand behind their product, they do what is easy, but not what is right.  I didn’t wrote the letter to get a brand new car, i just didn’t want to roll over negative equity, a rebate or something.

The executives of the company have one face to the public and another behind closed doors. After i told people about my letter, i heard so many stories about their CEO that weren’t so great, they didn’t Happen to me so i can’t verify if they were true or not). But it taught me a lesson. The truth is i want who i am to be who i am even when no one is watching. That’s the true test of character.

I’m a smart woman, i can handle my business and my car whoas. I got this. This experience has made me stronger, built good character in me. It has taught me to dig deep for joy when I’d like to slam my fist into a counter. 

I’ve learned my lesson. (I’m going back to Toyota or maybe even Honda). No more American OEM cars for me. 

I’ll just leave you with this...

It’s one thing to receive a Government Bailout when a company is in trouble but no one can help you when you’re morally bankrupt.

Wednesday, June 27, 2018


I’m sitting on my porch and i should be getting ready for work...

Thinking about the last few days and weeks and thinking about what i could have done differently but trying not to live in regret of past mistakes. 

There’s nothing wrong with mistakes as long as they weren’t on purpose (then it’s called a bad choice) and if we learn from them. Right?

In the past, I have felt like mistakes made me a failure, but really they made me a learner, someone who strives to do better. 

It’s easy for me to give grace and mercy to others because i see the good in them but to give it to myself is difficult because i see the good, the bad, the ugly in myself, i see my past failures. 

Every day is a new day to do good, to change the world, to right past wrongs. 

I look at the immigration crisis, the Muslim ban, volcanos, hungry children, all the injustices of the world, and it gets overwhelming because you know i want to fix it all. I think we all have the opportunity to fix something, we do what is right for the people in our worlds (the ones we interact with every day) and we find the things that we want to change and we find organizations that fit in our wheelhouse and serve them. (And we vote!)

It’s what’s on my heart today! 

Tuesday, June 26, 2018

Music of my heart - "Oh, God" by Citizens

Does it happen to you that you listen to songs on repeat?  

I remember on time I listened to a song by Eve 6 so much that I actually had a boss ask me to listen to another song hahaha

Last week the song "Oh God" ended up on my playlist and it's been on repeat the last couple days.  The truth is that even surrounded by so many people, I feel incredibly lonely and all by myself, thankfully my feelings are not the boss of me and I know that's not true.  I know this is just a seasons and seasons change.  I know that hard things bring growth.  Stretching makes us strong and flexible. I know all this but I also know that sometimes it's just hard and prayer is what carries us from one step to the next.

During this song, I have cried, cheered excitedly, I feel like I've felt it all this week.  Worship gives us the words our hearts can't find.

This is the music of my heart these days.  The lyrics are below.

Romans 8:31-39

God's Everlasting Love
31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be[i] against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son but gave him up for us all, how will he not also with him graciously give us all things? 33 Who shall bring any charge against God's elect? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is to condemn? Christ Jesus is the one who died—more than that, who was raised—who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.[j] 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword? 36 As it is written,
“For your sake we are being killed all the day long;
    we are regarded as sheep to be slaughtered.”
37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am sure that neither death nor life, nor angels nor rulers, nor things present nor things to come, nor powers, 39 nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.

In the valley, Oh God, you're near
In the quiet, Oh God, you're near
In the shadow, Oh God, you're near
At my breaking, Oh God, you're near

Oh God, you never leave my side
Your love will stand firm for all my life

In my searching, Oh God, you're near
In my wandering, Oh God, you're near
When I feel alone, Oh God, you're near
At my lowest, Oh God, you're near

Height nor depth nor anything else
Could pull us apart
We are joined as one by your blood

Hope will rise as we become more
Than conquerors through
The one who loved the world

Oh God, you never leave my side
Your love will stand firm for all my life

Oh God, you never leave my side
Your love will stand firm for all my life

Oh God, you never leave my side
Your love will stand firm for all my life