Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Tuesday, April 22, 2014

Time out


I'm taking a time out. 

It always scares me not to write. Normally if I don't write I'm struggling with something, and I am struggling with something. And I write to process and I share whatever God is doing with you, my readers. 

Honestly I've written a lot in my journal and not a lot here. But I'm taking a break anyway. 

If I find a good recipe or a picture I want to share, Or a scripture, I'll post it but it will be someone else's words not mind :)

This break is not because I don't have anything to say... More like I have too much to say. That's weird but whatever.

Say a prayer for me if you think about it.  I'll be back soon!

Sending love 

Monday, April 21, 2014

making steps to live simply



Living simply doesn’t really come easy to me.  I want lots of stuff, I have spent most of my life wanting stuff, and I am always waiting for that day that I might need this or that.  Oh and let’s not even go there with all the books I’ve purchased over the years and never read.

After being in Haiti and going up North and seeing how amazingly simple people live, I really am thinking that is the way to go.  I’ve also been known to just throw things on a shelf because I am too busy to put something actually “away”.  Or how about how I still have the little bags that come with something with one extra screw or a few washers… what in the world?  I’ve been going through things and either throwing things away or making a garage sale pile (man, if you like Christian books… this will be the place for you!) and just getting rid of things to make life simpler.  I even have clothes that still have tags on them! 

For a long time the thought of getting rid of things made my skin itch and made me twitch…  but now, it seems like the absolute right thing to do…  Makes my skin twitch to NOT do it.  

I can’t believe how much “stuff” I have…  I mean I have boxes and boxes of stuff to get rid of and the crazy thing is that I still have more stuff…  I’ve also taken the time to hang things up that have been sitting waiting patiently to find their rightful place on the walls. 

 It’s been nice to go through things, relive a memory, and let it go.  And sometimes it’s hard because I think of all the money wasted buying things that I never used.

I have to say that eating simply has been A-MAZING!  I think that when I started I thought it was going to be hard, I thought I’d be sick of rice and beans, I’d be tired of eating the same things, but honestly, it’s been amazing.  I feel so good.  I also haven’t had any caffeine except for the few ounces of Toro I had at our team gathering. It’s been so great! I can’t believe it, honestly, water is amazing and I have had one flavored non-caffeine tea a day. 

If there is one thing I’ve learned it’s that stuff doesn’t make me happy. I mean I think I’ve always known that… but going through all these “things” while it’s nice to have, the whole consumerism thing is just nuts.  And for me buying too much stuff and retail therapy and eating has been a terrible crutch, and it’s time to let go of the crutches and walk strongly and confidently and very humbly with Jesus.

Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp for my feet, a light on my path.

Sunday, April 20, 2014

Living simply (er)

If you would have to me that I'd ever consider turning off my cable I would have told you that you a nut job... I mean I'm a kid of the 70/80/90s and tv was entertainment and even now I find myself choosing to "veg out"in front of the tv. 

But I'm considering it for real. I went to Haiti and there is no tv and I never really even thought about it. And then I've been staying at a friends house and they don't have cable and it's been nice to listen to music and talk (it's not like we don't have movies and we have netflix).  And honestly I have been kind of dissatisfied with tv lately... I only look forward to Blue Bloods and Chicago Fire (even parenthood has been a little disappointing lately)

Praying about it, going to check out alternatives... Only internet, wifi, this should prove interesting.

I'm considering it, saving money, living simply.

Life is changing. And it's good. 

Saturday, April 19, 2014

Rambling

My heart has seemed to be on overload lately. A million feelings and no way to escape in a healthy way. I could have eaten something I shouldn't or gone shopping or something but when things got tough the last couple weeks I've just been clinging to Jesus.

I was thankful that our team leaders planned a super yummy dinner and we had our team come together and laugh (and I cried). I had some moments when I was just captivated by love. Like Jesus was in the room with us.

I have found myself overwhelmed and even feeling all the way through it. I have felt lonely, abandoned, sad, joyful, loved, and pretty much any gamut in between. 

I don't know what's ahead but I know Jesus is my Lord and Savior and He's got it. He will go before me and light the way.

A Good Friday

Drove up to see the team I went to Haiti with yesterday it was an absolute beautiful drive and talked and sang the whole way up.

Got here and was instantly greeted with warmth. It's like I've known these people all my life. And to share an experience of Haiti with them is just pretty amazing. 

We hung out caught up it was pretty great and then we went to Good Friday service which was way different than the service we had at Metro but it was beautiful and I learned a few things and   That makes me happy, I love to learn and be taught. (The church reminds me a little of metro in the early days)

We came home and talked and talked about Haiti and laughed and recalled such great memories and lessons we learned there. It was so great! 

My heart is so thankful for being here. I come home and do my best (wish my best was better) to re-entry and re acclimate into our life here and I just either don't do a good job or could really use more time (or I should just stay in Haiti ha!!!!) 

it was great to hug my team that was at church and meet new people that have heard about me (it's weird that I was described as cool - I'm a nerd mom haha I just love people). I thought about in church how differently I connect with Jesus while in Haiti. Re emphasizes the one day I was praying about going to Haiti...

"God don't You know who i am?!? Haiti sure seems like  a weird thing for someone like me to do"

"Of course I know who you are... I created you, the world made you that way".

Whoa.

Being here has been so great for my little heart.  

Woke up this morning.

Thankful.

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

There is joy in the serving!



I honestly didn’t know how it was going to go yesterday.  In the past one of my favorite days of the month is the day that I serve at ‘I am My Brother’s Keeper’ (MBK).  Our church goes and brings a meal and serves with another church.  It’s an amazing night.  When I leave I am exhausted.  And typically my face hurts from smiling so much.  

I always get there early and have my time with Ernie (and Leon when he was there).  We talk, share, laugh.  It’s always a nice time, and I actually feel robbed when other people come in and distrupt our 30-45 minutes of time.  I feel like its my time.  Lol, I am so selfish!

But the problem is…  and this is where I am jacked up…  I come home from Haiti and the need in America is much different than the need in Haiti and I sometimes have a hard time.  But God didn’t just  call me to serve in Haiti, and after all, I do love serving people, especially feeding people.

So I prayed about what we serve at MBK, and last night it was meatballs & gravy, noodles, cheese potatoes, green beans, and dessert. YUM!  We served almost 1000 meatballs!  WOO HOO!  I prayed about serving, God you called me to serve here, let me remember that I am serving You, and only You.  I looked forward to serving all day, I kept saying “It’s my favorite day of the month, 3rd Tuesday”.  I walked into the church and asked for help (because I always bring TONS of stuff when I come) and about 8 perfect gentlemen helped me carry all my stuff (they are always SO helpful!!!) and as I walked into the “gym”, I saw him, Ernie, standing there at the door waiting for me, and I tell you, I was smiling from my toes!  Home.  

Ernie and I went to our “normal” routine, getting everything ready (we are a great team).  I am sure he thinks I’m a nut job but he puts up with me, we talked like we normally do, he wouldn’t even let me carry the big pot of water for the noodles!  He is good to me!

I have to tell you that I know that some people might serve at MBK, and feel like they are doing some great charity work, but for me, it’s a place where I am with people I love, serving people I love, and mostly serving Jesus.  I left MBK with this amazing feeling that I spent my evening with Jesus. 
I can’t wait for next month… praying about what we are going to serve… wondering… “Jesus, what would You like for dinner next 3rd Tuesday?”

James 2:14-17 14 What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? 15 Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Go Be Love



One thing with coming home from Haiti is that I have decided to clean out a lot of stuff and have a garage sale!  I have tons of stuff and I’d like to raise some money for my trip (if I can swing it) in December besides that I have two trips this summer to pay for!  I’ve been cleaning out my closets, drawers, everything.  I was going through some t-shirts and I found one that I had purchased from Visiting Orphans http://www.visitingorphans.org/


Go.Be.Love.

Now for the longest time I read that as a command.  Go be love.  Go spread the love of Christ. 

And this morning while praying on my way to work, God spoke to my heart differently about it.

Go - Go make disciples, do it everywhere you go. 

Be – Please be with Me, spend time with Me.  God spoke so sweetly to my heart that it doesn’t matter how much I do, it doesn’t matter how much I don’t do, He wants to spend time with me.  He loves me, and my greatest desire is to love Him too.  Some of my sweetest times on my last Haiti trip was time I spent with Him

Love – Love everyone, even when it’s hard (and sometimes it really is difficult). Love those around you, love those far from you.  Do what you can to whenever you can to show those around the world, Me.

What a different perspective, especially that ‘Be’ part. Wow.  I am so thankful for a different perspective, one from the Father.  

 I am never disappointed when I spend time with Him, He restores my soul.

Sunday, April 13, 2014

Just call me Jelly

My favorite sandwich is peanut butter and jelly.
My daughters favorite sandwich is peanut butter and jelly.

My daughter and I made about 150 pb&j sandwiches last year on the Detroit mission trip. 

Someone asked me what my favorite part of my trip to Haiti was.

Feeding the kids pb&j was probably one of the best times I had in Haiti. (Other than my amazing God time).

Pb&j was not part of "the plan". At some point we decided to have the beautiful children over from the fishing village to the compound. I asked if we could feed them (you know that's what I do). So we did pb&j because it's easy and quick and relatively cheap. 

Michael and I walked to the store to get the supplies... This woman wanted $26 for the peanut butter alone! I was outraged!!! I mean come on you know how I can be! Of course I tried to barter with her but she wouldn't move and I offered her a price of $20 which was more than fair.

So we walked back to the compound and got the truck and drove to a different store. 

I got a bigger peanut butter, 2 mango jellys, and 5 loaves of bread AND a ragaman for $27 

Then April, Missy, and I commenced making te sandwiches. What a sweet fun time we had together making them!!! And I love Haitian bread, it's like 1.5 times bigger than our normal white bread and a little denser so it's a good belly filling sandwich!!

That's right! We fed about 60 kids from that pb&j! I never would have thought that all my pb&j making would come in handy in Haiti but it did!

Michael gave me the nickname "jelly" after that. 

I'm so thankful that God wastes nothing in our lives. Not even crazy pb&j sandwich making skills!

I love using the gifts that God has given me!!!

When you give someone a pb&j, you've given it to Me. ❤️