Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Sunday, March 12, 2017


When God put the trip of Uganda in my heart, it was a gift. It was a gift I tried to give back with excuses why I shouldn't/couldn't go.

One of those reasons was the cost.  It was a lot of money in a short amount of time. I have seen God provide in so many ways. I was literally so anxious about the money, I figured it out PER DAY of how much I needed to raise, made 3 different spreadsheets.

One of the requirements was that we needed to have 50% of our money raised by the end of March.

I've cut back on Starbucks, sold tshirts, did secret shopping, people have donated towards my trip. I'm excited to say that I'm 82% there and we aren't even at the end of March!! Each person who has prayed, donated, I'll take them in my heart on this trip. It's such a joy and honor!!!

Not only the cost of the trip, we'd like to take Little Dresses for Africa. Each suitcase costs $100, 5 suitcases (now I need only 4 sponsored - one is!!) I'm trying to get sponsored at $100 each. Have you ever seen those beautiful dresses? It's such a gift to give children hope in the form of a dress or shorts! I've done it in Haiti and El Salvador and I'm thankful that we will get to do it in Uganda!

I've seen God provide like crazy in my life!!! His love and grace is undeniable and overwhelming!

If you'd like to be a part of my trip financially, you can send an online donation via this link. If that is not possible, will you please pray for the trip? That God would move in and through each of us.

Sunday, March 05, 2017

Loving my gifts

I was just searching for a movie in our collection. It's annoying to me that our movies aren't in alphabetical order. They are grouped but our current layout doesn't allow for completely alphabetical.  (I'm not judging you if yours are just thrown anywhere).

As I poured beans in the pressure to cook them before I can them I laughed at what a nerd I am because the truth is, I like my own canned beans more than to buy them canned like most people do.

Methodically thinking about what order I'm going to do the laundry, I sighed.

I plant gardens and cook dinner.

I send letters and cards in the mail, I think hugs are great expressions of how much you love someone.

I am a nerd.

I've come to accept who God made me to be. I've even come to a place where I like who I am.

I love that I feel most beautiful when I look the grossest. lol I think about haiti and soup kitchens and my heart does a little flutter.

I love that when I hug people they know I love them. I love that feeding people not only fills their belly, it feeds their souls.

I love that I desire to spend time with God and do what He says, not because I have to but because I want to.

Sure there are things I don't always like about me, but I'll never give up trying to
Be my best me.

I'm not perfect but I love fierce and everything (except the alphabetized dvds) in my life is driven by that love. Even my crazy obsession with kayaking!

My prayer for the people in my life is that they will embrace the gifts that God has given them, and learn to love who God made them to be

Saturday, February 11, 2017

Music of my heart - let it happen

The very first thing I ever made for MBK was cupcakes.  I brought the dessert to the dinner that we served with someone else.  I was thinking of that today as I was making cupcakes for Monday.  I really love making cupcakes.  I don’t know what it is.  It’s faster to make regular cake but I really like making cupcakes and I can frost 24 cupcakes in like 4 minutes.   I don’t do fancy frosting most of the time, just back of the spoon frosting, some fun sprinkles… 

When I turn around and look at where God has me at any given moment, I think about how I just let Him guide me, use me. I didn’t try to orchestrate anything or just try to figure it out.  When I just take each step one at a time and not worry about what the path looks like, when I take in the moment of where I am, just as God intended, things go well for me.  When I remember that God is the director, it really is where I find the most joy and the most peace. 

I’ve got to just let it happen.

Thursday, February 09, 2017

Music of my heart - hidden

This song.  The first time I heard it, my soul took a breath.  Often my life is crazy and busy, but I can sit at the feet of Jesus and breath.  I can look at things that seem way to big.  Overwhelming really, but if I know I am in the will of God, I know I am, SAFE.
Most of my life I have not felt safe.  Always scared of something.  But there is something about the Love of God.  A love so strong that I can’t help but feel safe. 
There is a verse, Proverbs 3:5-6
Trust in the Lord with all your heart
    and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him,

    and he will make your paths straight.

When I would worry people would quote that verse to me, and even though I heard the words, they did not penetrate my heart.  And one day, I am not sure when it happened, I came to the point when I believed it. I didn’t just believe in God, I believed Him.
There came a moment when I knew that I could do whatever He asked of me, I just needed to believe it, and believe Him.  Often it seems crazy and nuts, but here I am, I just do what God asks. 

I never know what to say when people ask what is going on?  Sometimes I am just so excited about it all, I want to scream how excited I am.  Like just I was when I first learned about God’s grace.
This song.  My heart.  It’s the words when I don’t have them.


There was one when I was young
Who knew my heart
He knew my sorrow
He held my hand
And he lead me to trust him
Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

As I grow
And as I change
May I love you more deeply
I will lean upon your grace
I will reap because your goodness is unending

You are my vision
My reason for living
Your kindness leads me to repentance
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance

But I’ve never known this kind of friend
I can’t explain it
This sweet assurance
But I’ve never known this kind of friend

The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory
The sun, moon, and stars
Shout your name
They give you reverence
And I will do the same
With all my heart I give you glory

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

I want to seek you first
I want to love you more
I want to give you the honor you deserve
So I bow before you
I am overcome by the beauty of this perfect love

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

Now I am hidden
In the safety of your love
I trust your heart and your intentions
Trust you completely
I’m listening intently
You’ll guide me through these many shadows

Tuesday, February 07, 2017

Music of my heart - You make me brave

Music gives me the words when I just don’t have them.

On Sunday we worshipped in church to “You make me brave” it always reminds me of Katie. She said it was the song that she sang before they moved to Colorado. I listened to the song on repeat one day and CRIED THE WHOLE DAY! There were moments, I will tell you the truth, I didn’t think I was going to make it without the Dorbands. That’s just the truth. Thankfully, phone calls, texts, and visits, I still here, probably stronger.

While listening/singing God simply spoke to my heart and said “I know you love them, but I wanted you here” and I know that had The Dorbands stayed in Michigan, I probably never would have left serving with them.

The truth is that I am scared about almost everything. I am always afraid of making a mistake. Do you know that when I make a meal for someone, sometimes I’m even afraid to ask them if they want me to. Like the other day, I dropped a meal off for someone, I didn’t even ask them LOL, I just did it. That way, I don’t know… they couldn’t say no.

Look I know I can cook. The other day we went out to eat, because I was kind of sick of cooking and eating my own food, so we went out (Had a groupon) and then we ate… and I said “I could have cooked way better than this” LOL but sometimes I think it might seem lame to drop off a meal. But it’s what I do. I can’t change that. So I do it even if I’m afraid of something dumb.

It’s in the daily obedience that I am the most anxious. Am I supposed to do this? Does it make a difference? Will my gift of love be looked upon as dumb. I just want to love people in a way that they want/need to be loved.

The craziest thing I've been anxious about is that I really feel like I need to learn to sing.  I am never going to be T-fab that's for sure, but not making people's ears bleed would be great.  I feel like I'm going to have to sing at some point in Uganda, and I'd prefer to do it well or at least not horrible.  I've been sweating over asking for help for a long time, I mean seriously, I cried.   I am such a crier!  The thought of doing something I am terrible in front of people, that's just crazy to me, but how will I ever get better if I don't ask for help?!? So I did it. 

In those moments of pure anxiety, I have to just be still and listen. Let Him speak to me, let His word get into my heart, get pumped up about who God called me to be and what He called me to do!

I stand before You now
The greatness of your renown
I have heard of the majesty and wonder of you
King of Heaven, in humility, I bow

Wednesday, February 01, 2017

Applesause Bread

This is one of my favorite recipes.  I make it all the time for church and the other day I heard someone shout "There's applesauce bread!" and my heart smiled.  I love feeding people :)


1 cup white sugar
1 1/4 c applesauce
1/2 cup vegetable oil (or butter)
2 eggs
3 tablespoons milk
2 cups all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 teaspoon baking powder
1 heaping teaspoon ground cinnamon
1/4 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C). Lightly grease a 9x5 inch loaf pan.

In a large bowl, combine the applesauce, sugar, oil, eggs and milk; beat well. Sift in the flour, baking soda, baking powder, cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice and salt; stir until smooth. Fold in the pecans. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan.
Bake in preheated oven for 60 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into center of the loaf comes out clean.

Saturday, January 28, 2017


I've been giving some thought to stewardship. I honestly thought I did ok with this one, not perfect. But when someone would say "if someone looked at your taxes or checkbook would they know you loved God?" The answer is yes. But in this last month I've been thinking about it... how much I wasted!

Money spent at Starbucks
Food that I threw away instead of freezing
Choosing to eat out instead of eating at home

I've been on a pretty strict budget. Pinching every penny.

An example is that so
Many times when we had leftover buns we would leave them. I noticed that the soup
Kitchen had tons of buns so I asked my
Friend if I could take them and freeze them. The truth is that buns are only a couple bucks, HOWEVER I've been saving lots of $2 to add up to more money

It's been eye opening to me how much I waste and what a bad steward of God's resources I have been. The thing is I know how to stretch a dollar i just got careless. It's been something God has been working on with me.

When it started I thought it would suffocate me, take away my freedom but to be honest, it's done the opposite. It really has been freeing. I always say "you either manage ________ or it manages you" and I'll be honest I think I've needed to take control for some time now. Nothing bad has happened, but there is no point in waiting until it does. It's been so great, and I don't feel restricted at all or that I'm giving anything up. It's been so great!

I'd like to invite you to really look at how you are spending your money and not
Compare to how the world spends their money but God's view and see how you stack up. You might get an A+ rating or you might need a little work (or a whole lot). Don't over look a little here and a little there. It all adds up!!! I saved $57 this month changing my Starbucks routine from everyday ($3 per day) to only going two times per week. I thought I'd hate it but I like making it myself. Less time spent in the drive thru, less money spent... its good stuff!!

I'm thankful God never stops working on me!!