Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, November 20, 2018

declutter challenge

Normally my life is so busy that I rush into the holidays and I barely enjoy them. It's task after task, maybe I throw in some fun here and there and enjoy the tree at the end of the night.

I decided to take this week off, it's the first time I've ever done this! I think this is a tradition I can get behind!

I'm in the middle of getting rid of 30 things in 30 days and I am well over 200 items!  I've straightened the pantry shelves that were taken out of the pantry room so that we could drywall the room.  Unfortunately due to the past months of insanity it just never got cleaned out and the shelves were in disarray.  I spent a few hours straightening those and cleaning the last of the things out of the room.  Just today I got rid of about 15 things.  It's freeing. The first time I did it, I struggled to find the items, but this time I planned and prepared.  I still had moments where I got stuck about giving up items but I got through it!

I never realized how much emotional connection I had with things.  Ugh. 

As I've gotten rid of things I've become freer and freer. 

As I have cleaned up and out my house, I feel like I'm preparing my house and preparing my heart for the holidays. 

I am preparing for the holidays and not rushing, I am hoping to really truly enjoy them this year.

How are you preparing for the holidays?

Wednesday, November 14, 2018

The grip of fear!

I've tried posting this 3 times... typed it out only to have the words all disappear... ugh!

Do you know who Alton Coleman is?

He's a serial killer.  When I was young this man was on the run near the marina where we kept our boat.   He was on the banks of the Ecorse Creek.  The chief of police of Ecorse kept his boat there too, so we knew what was going on.  I remember there was police officers, a helicopter, it was a little crazy.

I didn't know that this affected me at all... I mean this kind of stuff happens to everyone right?  A serial killer on the loose by you when you are 9 or 10. 

What in the world!

I was at church on Sunday, during worship and I have been working through a lot of things and during worship, heart wide open, I said "I trust You, you can have all this, all the past, all the future, whatever I need, send it.  I trust You as I work through the pain."

Then... all of a sudden, I had this feeling that I didn't even know where it came from.  I was taken back to that day and I just felt like I had that fear... what if the police don't catch that man, what if he kills me?  what if he gets my dad and kills him?  what will happen to me? who will take care of me?  I mean in that moment, it felt so real. 

And then God.  Then I felt this crazy calm come over me.  God protected me.  He let no harm come to me or my family.    "You are my beloved." He whispered.  It was, as it says in the bible, "a peace that surpasses all understanding"

I'm not saying that if something bad has happened that God has forgotten or left behind someone else.  Because I don't know why or how things happen.   I just know the hand of God has been all over my life.  And that is not lost on me.  Not for one moment.

Thank You God.

For this moment and the peace it brought

Thank You for my church

Thank You for our worship team that leads me to the throne of grace, heart wide open.

For Your protection

For Your grace

For fierce Love

Fear has no hold on me.  It is finished.

Sunday, November 11, 2018

Life on purpose

Someone said something to me that really made me think.... something like  don’t plan for your next vacation as an escapee from your current life, live your life in a way that you love it all the time so vacations are extensions of a life well lived. 

I have been very intentional lately. For seven months my life seemed like chaos and controlled by something and someone else. I decided that in order to not go insane I’d be very intentional about my life. Live each day as if it’s on purpose. 

It doesn’t mean that each day is completely planned but i do make the most of everyday! 

I try to move everyday whether it’s at the gym or a walk with the dog.

In November I’m doing “30 things in 30 days” to help declutter my home! We have too much stuff. Yesterday i cleaned out drawers and closets and got rid of 22 articles of clothing - 4 things i threw away - why was i saving these???? Growing up not having a lot, starting my job as a mother pretty poor i save a lot of things “just in case”, getting rid of them is completely freeing!! It’s a heart tug to say that i don’t need to save “things just in case” if i need it God will provide it.  (Today I’m tackling the garage!) 

I send more cards, i try to be more encouraging, buying the kids their favorite candy for youth group, love people every day in small ways. 

My heart is thankful. Living on purpose is growing my gratitude for Gods provision and for the beautiful people He’s put in my life.

Friday, November 09, 2018

Thankful for Voting

Yes I voted.  To be honest, I usually do.  I believe it is my right.  I believe if you are able you should too.  I love the meme that's out there that says you don't think your vote counts but you think you can win the lotto. LOL

The truth is of all the people/things I voted for I only believed in 2. 

This was the first year IN MY LIFE I donated to campaigns of people I believed in.  One I couldn't even vote for because she's out of my district. 2 of the 3 people I donated to won the election.  I have to say that makes me happy!  I got a letter from Rashida today thanking me, and yes, I know she sent it to anyone who donated.  But I know that it matters. 

I have been laughing and saddened by the name calling (I was called evil about a month ago because I voted for a Democrat).  Thanks to those of you who did, I was able to scale back my facebook back by a few people.  I don't care if you share your opinion, let's learn from each other, but some people feel like it's a fight and some get so ugly.  All the people who complained because people made comments about our current president are the same ones making their own comments.   Makes me laugh.

I used to be a one issue voter, LOL, but not the issue you think... I always voted based on taxes.  I want to keep my money but now, I try to look at the bigger picture.  I am also a reformed straight ticket voter (ALL RED) but have since changed my ways.  

I am so very thankful for the right to vote.  Even when I don't always get my way.  I hope soon we get more than 1 or 2 really great candidates to vote for!

And...  I'm so thankful for extended poll hours and the young people volunteering!

Tuesday, November 06, 2018

Overcoming unbelief

I know that the number on my jeans and the number on the scale don’t define me and it’s so easy how people become obsessed with them whether it’s too high or when it’s so low it’s bordering (or is) unhealthy. 

I know that right now i weigh the most I’ve weighed and i hate that about me. The truth is the last two years have been so hard. Most days i can’t believe I’ve made it. 

My body is holding on to this weight like it’s life depends on it. I honestly think it’s because deep down I’m holding onto something too. 

I’m working on some hard stuff right now and longing to believe that i am loved, cherished, beautiful, a masterpiece. 

But it’s hard to believe those things when i know what a mess i am, the way people have treated me my whole life (like i was too much or never enough), it’s hard to believe that i am worthy of love just like i believe everyone else is.

I think of Mark 9 and the father who takes his son in need of healing
““ ‘If you can’?” said Jesus. “Everything is possible for one who believes.” Immediately the boy’s father exclaimed, “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!””

I’ve seen God do crazy things in my life, I’ve seen His miracles daily. I’ve seen transformation in the lives of others and in my own life. So i know it can be done, but sometimes deep rooted heart changes are hard to overcome. Believing I’m worthy and beautiful and cherished, it’s hard. But my prayer today... “Jesus, i do believe help me overcome my unbelief!”

Monday, November 05, 2018

Meal planning

It's been a long time since I meal planned, especially on here.  I'm really trying to work on my finances, my health and meal planning is key for me.  Lots and lots of veggies this week!

Here is this week's menu and a new recipe!  (Thanks Autumn!)

Sunday – Pancakes and Fruit

Monday – Taco Bowls (Brown rice, black beans, roasted butter squash & purple cabbage, elote, tomatoes)

Tuesday – Out

Wednesday – Burgers (Veggie/Turkey) and sweet provide

Thursday – Ravioli and veggies

Friday – Out

Saturday – Ice Box round up (Leftovers)



1 c flour
2 T sugar
1 T baking powder
½ t salt
Dash cinnamon
1 c non diary milk
1 T apple cider vinegar
1 t vanilla


Mix dry ingredients well in a bowl.

Add milk & vanilla, whisk.  Add Apple cider vinegar, mix well.

I had to add about a ¼ c extra flour to get the consistency I wanted.

Back to it

I’ve been looking forward to today for awhile.
Back to the gym 

I know that on the days  I’m at the gym my mind is clearer my emotions more in check. I feel better. And as a task person it feels good to check something off that’s good for me. 

I woke up a little later than i wanted. Couldn’t find blueberries for my smoothie. Couldn’t find my headphones. All that to be said i made a different smoothie (has anyone made one with fresh cranberries before? I want to try that), no headphones but I’m here on the elliptical Getting it done. Thinking about a 5k for thanksgiving day! How about that !

I’ve got big dreams and i always think of mrs. Grant in the beginning of the series Fame.
You've got big dreams. You want fame. Well, fame costs. And right here is where you start paying: in sweat.

Which i don’t want fame.  But i do need to work to accomplish them! 

So here’s where i start paying!

Saturday, November 03, 2018

Changing of the seasons

It’s been a long season. It happened today as i knew it would. If i started crying i wouldn’t be able to stop. It was embarrassing but a good release of emotion.

I compare a lot of things to the places I’ve been.

Thinking about the last 7 months how it’s reminded me of Haiti. I love Haiti though I’m not sure how much of this last season has been love.

Haiti is hot and I’m always dirty, it’s unpredictable. I don’t go there unless it’s with people i trust. God does a lot in my heart during those times. He says "will you trust Me to follow me to a place of u unknown where you must valiantly seek Me to find Me?"

This has season has been a lot like that. Hard and uneasy. Seeking Him in the hardest times. Finding and trusting. Being sure even when I’m unsure. Trusting God in the hardest moments.

They say fall shows us the beauty in letting go. Fall is vibrant and it’s beauty is the reward of a hot hard summer.

It’s time to be still for me. To see the vibrancy in the hard parts of my life, and let it go to find the healing that my heart so desperately desires.

It’s says in Psalm 37:4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

It has not always been easy to praise Him in the storms. Without knowing His faithfulness in my life, I’m not sure i could have. He is faithful and His love is good. He is steadfast to find me in my wandering, in my running. He chases me and captures me, and eases the pain in my soul. He sends those filled with joy to crack the parts of my heart that i have hardened when i try to protect myself and forget to trust Him to protect me.

The next season is rest and rebuilding. It’s healing. It’s gonna be hard. Knowing pain is coming is hard but to know healing and freedom are coming will be worth it. Like when you break your arm, it heals wonky and you have to intentionally break it again and heal it correctly. Sounds like fun, right? No, but it’s necessary.

It’s time to let go, find healing, love well. Knowing I’m worthy of that love and healing. I’m Abbas’s child. I’m going to discover all that means, And how loved i really am.