Passion



Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)


Friday, October 09, 2020

Gifts

 I often feel that people look at me and think "she just does food" (and that might not be how they think but sometimes that's how they treat me) 

I'd like to say this about myself (and i don't usually do this) but it is a lot to prepare meals. I have cooked meals for over 100 people for a week! with no stove or oven on mission trips with a lot of preparation and planning. And that's nothing! You should see the women in Uganda, literally food for 1500 people with a fire and a pot!  Now that's badassery (and they let me have the honor of cooking with them when I was there, food is an international language)

And... you can't live without eating. Go ahead try it. You'll be a HANGRY mess before you know it.  And you'll have no friends.  Food sustains us, gives us life, it comforts us. 

Yes, i can tell you in my career I've made my boss oatmeal everyday.  Yes, I did. 

But also I've lead a team that cooked 500 meals with a partially functioning industrial kitchen, which seemed like a dream.

I used to think the gift of cooking wasn't that important because "everyone eats" but not everyone can cook well.  I mean, I'd like to point out where did Jesus spend His last times with the disciples?  At a meal.  Literally there are pictures ALL OVER THE WORLD showing that picture.  You know, someone had to prepare that bread.  And while that person is not mentioned anywhere in the bible, doesn't make that person (probably a woman) less important. 

I look at people's gifts and think "wow, that's amazing" because I can't do that. I don't look at their gift and think it must not be much because I can't do it, that gift wasn't bestowed upon me. 

 

Sunday, September 13, 2020

Goals - making them happen

 Dreams are the touchstones of our characters. ~Thoreau 


About 8 years ago i started writing out my goals for the coming year but i start in August/September because when i started i was in youth ministry and we set our goals at the beginning of the school year.  All these years later, i still stick to the timing, it makes sense and in January i can always take a look and see if i need to recalibrate. 


To be honest i pray for about a week before and then i write them out. The cool thing (if you can call this nerdiness cool) is that there are also questions about how i will make it happen, what steps need to be taken. 


Every year there is one goal (spiritual, family, ministry, travel, & financial) that probably gets a little more focus than the other but the goal i hate gets the least attention and that one is the financial goals. Until this year. (You can guess that travel is usually my favorite!)


You may or may not know I'm involved in a lot of different things and one thing... there's not really a budget. But that also means it's harder to stick to financial goals. But this year... dang it. After a month of praying (more than I've ever spent) i knew that's where my focus needed to be. 


So i planned out all the organizations and people i serve and allocated a certain amount of money towards each one. 


All this means i must plan more, prepare more. 


And tonight i did some preparation... i rolled 125 forks/napkins for serving at various places. 


Hold on to your hats... I've even got a 3-5 year plan. Which seems crazy! 


Often i feel like it's soooo late for me to be changing things up but really, it's never too late to make strides in the right direction. 



Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you’ve imagined. ~Thoreau 


Friday, September 11, 2020

That's it...


 Last August I set a travel goal to see 50 lighthouses in a year.  

I mean how hard could it be...  There are 115 in our state, so setting a goal of half of those sounded like a great idea... plus i could see a lot of the state... and I did.  And i saw some in Ohio.

This week I planned on seeing 6 but it takes a long time to drive to them... and so...

I'm done with this travel goal finishing with 31 total lighthouses.

Normally i drive myself crazy focusing on the failures, but this time I am going to focus on the beautiful state that i saw.  I am going to remember this travel goal as the one that was achieved with so many friends.  

This year's travel goal is much easier :)


Thursday, September 10, 2020

On to the next year!

Every year on my work anniversary I look back at the last year and think about TGW/TGR (Things Gone Wrong/Things Gone Right).  I think even further back than that sometimes. 
 
 
A couple weeks I took some leadership training and it did some evaluations.  In a few of the cases I thought about how some of my past managers would deal with some situations.
 
 
It has made me think about a lot of things.  Around 8 years ago I left an employer.   
About 5 1/2 years ago a former boss from that employer asked me if I me I was still at the second company, I said "yes, I really like it", her response blew.me.away.  She said " "i can't believe you made it".
 
To be honest I can't believe anyone would say that to someone but I really can't believe a woman would say that to another woman.

 

I remember how the words cut like a knife. I was shocked by the words spoken.

Well here i am. Not just making it, not just enduring, I'm thriving. I'm growing everyday and learning.

 

When people say hurtful things to me, it's more about them then it is about me.

 
People say "Margie shoots it to you straight".
 
Yes, it's true i do. But i know that i need to earn the right to speak into someone's life. I know that truth doesn't mean being harmful or mean.
 
People matter and the words matter. I could have been defeated by those words, but instead i took my career to the next level remembering to treat my team with kindness and help them to grow.
 
This is my fourth year as a Sales Manager at a completely different company and I'm not the same sales manager i was when i started. I sure have learned a lot! And I'll continue to grow because i will always be open to learning.

I think right now one of the things I am learning is to walk confidently in my strengths and humble enough to know I have a lot to learn from everyone I come in contact with on a daily basis.

 
I often learn the best lessons from people around me. Sometimes it's how I'd like to be, and sometimes they teach me the kind of person i never want to be.

Tuesday, September 08, 2020

Feeling again





Mental Health is important

I felt normal, getting through every day.

It hasn't felt easy at all.  

But sometimes I just don't recognize when I don't feel well, or at least I don't realize how terrible I felt until I start to be better.

I've had episodes in the last couple days when I just can't control the release of my tears.  I'm not talking about things that are happy or sad, but literally just a release.  Couldn't even understand it or put it into words.

Holding things in with clenched fists and hands.

And now a beautiful release.

I think God has been waiting to catch my tears. 

I heard the words of this song (take a lesson it's beautiful) and I thought "THIS IS IT"

Here's where the dead things
Come back to living
I feel my heart beating again


It's been a season and I don't think it's over but I do believe that nothing is wasted.  I feel like I have done some really great things in the last 6-7 months, imagine how much more will be done now that I am feeling well.  How i felt and perseverance built character in me to get to the next level.  And now it will be time to grow again, really feeling.

Feeling is essential for relationships.  

Greater things are on the way. I don't know what is next but I do know, I am ready

Romans 5:1-5

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a] have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we[b] boast in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we[c] also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.









Monday, September 07, 2020

Protecting myself

I don't know about you but COVID has affected me in a lot of ways...

 

It's funny because I do a lot of things and I go on many adventures but what you might not know about me is that I have a lot of anxiety and I do a lot of things afraid.

 And one thing that happened (more than once) is that fear paralyzed me. To the point that I have not been able to function in some instances. I've passed on events that I would not have passed up. I've done a lot of things to help myself.

This weekend I did something that I couldn't believe I'd do or even have to do.

This weekend i was in a place that I did not feel safe. I didn't really feel physically or emotionally safe. I can tell you that many times in my life I have not felt safe, and that i have squared up to the situation and braced for impact because I didn't want to make waves.

but this time, I decided to do what was best for me and while I didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings or offend anyone, this time, I chose me. And I left the situation.

  I have worked too hard in my life to live in any way other than in a peaceful situation. And I can say without a shadow of a doubt, I made the right decision.

I don't know about you, but I have spent a lot of my life in trauma, trials, and a whole lotta mess, I have worked hard to pull myself from that.

  I've walked away from friendships because I just can't handle that drama or craziness in my life. And i might miss the people i needed to move away from, I never regret elimiating drama from my life unless I am watching TV.

Sometimes the best decisions to take care of ourselves are the best ones.

  If you are in a situation where you don't feel safe, I urge you to leave it. I urge you to take good care of yourself because you are worth it.

Monday, July 27, 2020

Water

There's something about the water. I think maybe i should move my office right by it or buy a boat and get WiFi in it lol. I think it might help my stress levels. 

I can listen to the water crash against the rocks and isn't it crazy how water is so powerful and yet so soothing at the same time? 

Water can smooth a rock and take a life so quickly yet the sound of it hitting the rocks can lull me to sleep. 

Growing up around the water a lot of my memories are around water so i can smell the water and it reminds me of a time and a place i thought i had forgotten. 

The water reminds me of holes and dreams i May have forgotten. It's like God sings me a song of remembrance. 

He reminds me of His steadfast love for me, the desires of His heart for mine. 

Water reminds me that even in my loneliness i am never really alone, and that His love for me is both fierce and calming.