Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Friday, April 22, 2016

Hope deferred

I'm not a dreamer for myself. I live my life and do what God calls me to do. I plant gardens and help make soccer fields happen. I see other people dream, and I help them.

But I dreamt. I dreamt of this beautiful house with lots of character. I dreamt of being that neighbor on the block that the kids knew I'd help them with their homework and listen and love them. 

I dreamt it being in Detroit tucked away in a sweet neihhborhood.

And then it felt like it all got snatched away. And even though I know God has a plan, I know His way is good, I know... I'm still disappointed and can't help but feel like maybe I should just do what God has created me to do, just serve other people and make their dreams and visions come true.

That's not over dramatic it just feels dumb to dream dreams that probably won't happen.

Oh I don't know.

I'm sad. 

I'm disappointed.

It's gonna be ok but I really was happy about this all happening.

Back to the drawing board I guess 
 Proverbs 13:12 "hope deferred makes the heart sick." 

I still trust though 

Thursday, April 07, 2016


Each day is filled with ups and downs. Each day holds endless possibilities. 
And at the end of every day I hope that I was kind. I hope that I treated people like I want to be treated. I hope to sing each song without the worry about who will applaud but just to portray the joy in my heart.
I've learned in all my years that it is not how people treat us but how we react (or don't) that is the measure of our character.
Lately my reaction when I'm overwhelmed with hurt or sorrow is to walk away. Don't run don't stomp just walk away. Breathe pray plan. 
In the bible it says that God has great plans for us, and not to harm us, but people on the other hand, that is a different story. In the moments when there is pain and discomfort I seek a safe place. 
Today after a day that has ended with hurt and pain I am reminded deep in my heart that His mercies are new every morning and in that i find great comfort. I find that safe place I long for as I seek God and take refuge in His strength and love

Friday, April 01, 2016

True Confessions, and fresh starts

Yesterday I got trapped by someone and almost felt forced to listen to their ignorance.  I had one of those flight or fight moments and I was trying so hard to get away.  I can actually only imagine my face as I was standing there.  It took every bit of self control I had to not tell this person off.  I mean really.  I can’t even explain it, I have never felt so worn out from being quiet in my entire life.  What’s crazy is that I had just had a great talk with the home inspector, a time of prayer with friends, and then this…  Almost like I was part of that show “Punked” with Ashton Kutcher… but at no point did Ashton pop out.  I must admit that I had worked myself up so much that I gave myself a headache. 

As I came home to my very peaceful house, and prayed, I found myself so thankful to be enlightened by something.  Love.  I find love and loving and being loved the thing that brings me the most peace. 

And while I am admitting things…  Dreaming makes me nuts.  Turns up my "wanter"... 
And having my dreams come true actually made me bat shit crazy and I took my eye off the Prize.  The truth is that I think I’ve wanted to move out of Lincoln Park as soon as I moved in.  I’ve enjoyed many friends, made great memories, but it was not a place that was going to keep me.  When this whole thing about moving to Detroit really started to come to fruition, it was almost too good to be true.  And so at every house I’d get excited only to be let down… and it happened a few times.  And as usually happens to me, when I am afraid, I get crazy, and I was afraid.  Was this dream so close only to be snatched from my fingertips?  Seriously, this is the most scared I’ve been in a long time.  The thought of this dream never coming true was overwhelming!  I mean I’ve come to the realization that I might never be married no matter how much I want it, and it may or may not ever happen, but I have come to a weird peace about it (somedays I am more peaceful about it than others).  I let this fear get me off course, and that’s the truth.  I probably didn’t serve as much as I would have because I was distracted, I probably wasn’t as kind as I should have been, or loving.

The truth is that I had to forgive myself and remember where I put my trust.  I am telling you that as soon as I finally said, and believed it with all my heart, “I trust You, God” it all fell into place.  We found a home that brings me great peace just standing in it. 

My prayer is that during all the crazy that is about to happen, I stay focused on loving people, and being kind, and following whatever it is that God has planned.  Soccer fields, gardens, meals, mission trips, whatever it, Here I am, send me!

Saturday, March 26, 2016

Trust, rest... And crazy when i don't

It's been a crazy week. 

We've made some big decisions, and our dreams are coming true! I've been praying and planning for a long time!!

And I've been nuts! Mostly because some things are out of our control and we had to wait. 

It all worked out and we are excited!!! 

One thing I never thought was that that id be crazy about this. I never thought following God's plan would be hard. I thought I'd walk and things would fall into place. I expect that when I do hard work, it will be hard, when I deal with baggage,  and things in my past, I know it will hurt, but it's worth it, but this, I thought it would come easy.

I heard this verse:

““Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.””
Matthew 11:28-30 NIV

And I thought "hey, why wasn't this easier? Why am I crazy?" 

You know why I was crazy? Because I was worried this wasn't the right path. That somehow I made a mistake. I had forgotten that even though God isn't my fairy godfather He is the One who answers my prayers (sometimes with a yes, sometimes a no, and sometimes a not yet).

I forgot to rest in Him. I remember thinking at one point "did You lead me to this place, only to disappoint me?" I forgot to trust that He knows what's best for me, and sometimes that takes time.

Oh man, what a crazy week i inflicted upon myself! What a good lesson to learn to remember "trust"

Saturday, March 19, 2016

Why t-shirts

T-shirt sales are my favorite fundraiser! There are lots of reasons!

#1 they are a good profit margin. Depending on my shirt I make about 50% on my sales! That's good stuff

#2 they are great talking pieces. People say "I love your shirt"... And they always do because I got the best t-shirt designers on the planet ( People ask, I tell them all about whatever God has called me to! Haiti, gardens, soccer fields... And oh you know me... I talk about it all! Because it's important! Because LOVE is important.

#3 if you buy a tshirt, you get to be part of some part of it because the truth is, an important lesson I've learned is that I can't do this all by myself. I've learned in life, that life is better surrounded by people who love us. 

#4 I have the best tshirt peeps!! They are kind, good, creative, great to work with, of great character, and funny!

This year I'm selling t-shirts to help raise money for a soccer field and I'm super excited and for $15 you can be part of something so great, for kids that God made awesome !

Thursday, March 17, 2016

Love loving

These days all I dream about is living in Detroit, soccer fields, feeding people, and gardens.

It's weird. I see a house and I gasp. I see kids  playing soccer in mexico and I smile from ear to ear! I almost giggle outloud thinking of the kids playing in that lot transformed to a soccer field, butterfly garden... And whatever else. Cute muffins running around. I can see it, I can hear it, and on the coldest of winter days I can feel the sun beating on my skin.

Days are coming where we reap what we sow. We plant in the spring and tend to the gardens and when the time is right, we sow, a great harvest we hope, don't we? I do that's for sure.

I live with the thankfulness of Gods grace, I hope to give it like I've received it.

I don't know why God chose me. I don't. And surely there have been days when I've disappointed Him. But I think about the pulling of the weeds, and how I feel in love with what that lot could be, and I think that must be how God must view me sometimes, He pulls the weeds out of my life and sees all that my life could be, and it is good, and He smiles, probably laughs at my antics. 

I love growing gardens, and planning soccer fields and selling shirts, and filling people's bellies with yummy food. To let them know that they are loved. 

I love loving. It's the greatest gift God has given me... To love. 

Wednesday, March 02, 2016

Growing and dreaming

Does this happen to you? 

You're so overwhelmed by the goodness of God. You know God lets me do such incredible things for Him.

The last couple of weeks I have been about 7 sides of crazy. Things just haven't been going the way I'd like and as much as I'd like to say I am patient in the waiting everyone who knows me, knows that's not true about me.

Add that people have said some pretty rude stuff to me, hurting my feelings, I have been a mess. 

One more thing and... Well there is no and... I would have sucked it up and kept going, because that's what I do... Just keep going and trusting. 

Friday I had a meeting for the empty lots and its coming along and I'm so thankful to be working with some really just amazing people. It makes my heart sing!!!

Today I got the final artwork for the shirts to raise money for the lot and all that needs to be done. It's amazing!  For real, I love it!!

It says "I play, I grow, I dream" in Spanish! It's so great!!! If you'd like to order a whole bunch of them, I bet we can do custom colors!! 

I'm so thankful to be out of that cloud and just so very excited about what's going on!!

It's going to be a busy spring and summer!

Sending love!!