I should have known... I've been in a mood lately, not bad, just kind of sad. I think I wrote in Tonya's blog that when something is bothering me it's deeply rooted from something else.
August 21 is the day my mom died. I don't remember my mom. At all. But somehow my heart remembers the day she died. You would think after 32 years, my heart would know she's not coming back and deal with it. But it still hurts.
I was driving to "the property" to help set up and I realized that what was bothering me, it's not a wall, it's not Phyllis growing up. I miss my mom. I miss something I can't remember having. I was sad, I was crying, with big tears, but I knew I could not walk in looking like a mess. So I cried, had a few words with God - "Yeah, God, it's not fair. How come I had to lose my mom, yeah, I mean it, not fair". I put in WOW 2006 and praised. Praised God that even in the sadness I love Him and He loves me.
I think God knew how I would feel today, and I met some great people today along with some that I already know. God sent me to do His work with people who He knew love pours out of their hearts, their smiles are friendly, the sisters in Christ we need, when we need them. Then later we had "Extreme Measures" at First Pres in Trenton, it was a great event, bands, skaters, again saw and spent some time with some really great Christians.
I am always surprised about how much God loves me, I don't know why but I am. I am amazed that in my sadness He sends me love to fight the sadness. He is so good!
2Co 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort