Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Saturday, August 26, 2006


I should have known... I've been in a mood lately, not bad, just kind of sad. I think I wrote in Tonya's blog that when something is bothering me it's deeply rooted from something else.

August 21 is the day my mom died. I don't remember my mom. At all. But somehow my heart remembers the day she died. You would think after 32 years, my heart would know she's not coming back and deal with it. But it still hurts.

I was driving to "the property" to help set up and I realized that what was bothering me, it's not a wall, it's not Phyllis growing up. I miss my mom. I miss something I can't remember having. I was sad, I was crying, with big tears, but I knew I could not walk in looking like a mess. So I cried, had a few words with God - "Yeah, God, it's not fair. How come I had to lose my mom, yeah, I mean it, not fair". I put in WOW 2006 and praised. Praised God that even in the sadness I love Him and He loves me.

I think God knew how I would feel today, and I met some great people today along with some that I already know. God sent me to do His work with people who He knew love pours out of their hearts, their smiles are friendly, the sisters in Christ we need, when we need them. Then later we had "Extreme Measures" at First Pres in Trenton, it was a great event, bands, skaters, again saw and spent some time with some really great Christians.

I am always surprised about how much God loves me, I don't know why but I am. I am amazed that in my sadness He sends me love to fight the sadness. He is so good!

2Co 1:3 Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort


Tonya said...

Margie, Thank you so much for working with us today, Metro and I are so so happy that you were there to help us... I am sorry that I did not get a chance to spend more time talking with you today.

Birmingham Girl said...

The heart can ache for what it hasn't had. Even though I'm not your mother, I send you love. Here's a hug ().

Sara said...

loving you sweetheart. you have to see the wound to start healing it. i'm praying this steps you toward healing the wound you didn't know was there.

Deb said...

Someone mentioned in Sunday School this morning that when you have a wound that you don't know is there, it eventually will reveal itself and fester. In order for it to heal, we have to open it up and allow someone to cleanse out all the junk. I pray that this is the beginning of the healing for you. You did the best thing you could have done in the midst of your praised God. Because in your weakness, He is made strong and you will find joy in His strength!
God bless you Margie! :)

Mags4HIM said...

In the midst of our woundedness we have a "belief". Once you go to the source of the pain, and what you believe, ask the Lord to come in and give you HIS "truth". When He comes into the darkness of our pain and woundedness and sheds His Light... you can feel and experience His peace and calm.
Thee is a ministry called Theophostic Prayer or Inner Healing Prayer Ministry that is all about helping people do this. I have been training to do this for some time. Have gone through the process many times for myself. It is one of those great "tools" to help people be healed of pain and hurts.
I started this journey over issues when my mom passed away 3 years ago. I now am not tormented with visions of my mom on her death bed or angry because of the events that led to her death. I am free! Praise the Lord!

KayMac said...

Another hug coming at you. sigh.