Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Thursday, October 19, 2006

I cry!

I can’t help it, happy, sad, grumpy, glad. I cry. I hold it back, I push the feelings down, but once the dam breaks, look out, here comes the flood.

I cried from Monday at 5pm – all night – and into part of Tuesday. People thought someone in my family died. That’s how much I cried. That’s how awful I looked.

I couldn’t help it. Yes, I have faith, I know that God is the one to depend on. But it still hurts when people are jerks to us. It still hurts when people tell you they care aobut you, but do mean things to you.

It sucks when your whole life is in the air, and even though you know God will never let you fall, you are on your knees pleading for the tornado to stop.

I cried so hard I gagged, people in the post office asked me if I was ok (I had to get something mailed out or I wouldn’t have went), my poor daughter kept asking me if I was going to be ok.

I think maybe I was holding so much stuff in that it was like I kept putting my finger in the dam to hold the water back that once it broke loose, that was it.

I really haven’t stopped crying, I just do it in the car now where no one can see me. If you know me, you know I cry at everything, songs, movies, commercials, when someone has a great accomplishment, when someone is telling me something terrible.

Tears are good. I don’t care what anyone says.

Psalm 6:6 I am worn out from groaning; all night long I flood my bed with weeping and drench my couch with tears.


Mrs. Mac said...

crying is a great release ...just go with the "flow" :)

Anonymous said...

my mom gets very upset when anyone says "stop crying". she says thats how people become bitter and angry and shoot up the post office.

Margie said...

I like your mom more and more everyday!

Birmingham Girl said...

I hate it when you steal my blogs. This is the one I'm writing for my next post. Now maybe I need to put it on hold, I'll have to think about it. Maybe I should just let the Holy Spirit lead and go ahead with it.
I'm convinced that tears clear the spiritual it says in time to cry, there truly is a season for everything, but no season should go on forever ~unless you live in California!

Becky said...

ok, you know me-i'm gonna make you work for it...
Psalm 6:9-10

Margie said...

For those of you who don't like to work for it...

Psalm 6:9-10 The LORD has heard my cry for mercy; the LORD accepts my prayer. 10 All my enemies will be ashamed and dismayed; they will turn back in sudden disgrace.

Becky as always, you are a great friend and a greater blessing! Love yoU!

Jada's Gigi said...

I'm so sorry you are suffering...crying is toxifying I've been get yourself up and walk keep moving forward..:)
praying for you..

dawnaj1958 said...

Been there...I usually only cry when I see someone else crying or someone comes to the Lord. Or when I realize I've hurt someone. (to me one of the worst sins anone can do, although I know all sins are equal) Please try to pray for the person who hurt you and I will also. The love of God does not allow us to knowingly be mean to each other. I'm praying for you. Praying for you to find joy again. "Tears are a language God understands." old song, beautiful words.

Anonymous said...

you are a sister in tears, I am the same way. But this week I cried the most on Tuesday. I cry for all the same reasons you do. And I feel bad for those around me who don't know how to react...but...I can't seem to help it.