This is the second time I am writing this blog today… UGH!
I have the day off. It was supposed to be a day off to go to The ‘Muth, but plans changed, and I decided to keep the day as a vacation day anyway. I am glad I did. I took Phyllis to school and my dad invited me to go to his gym with him, he has free passes. I love to exercise, I just don’t have the time or money to get to the gym. I actually forgot how much I loved it until I was on the elliptical. For the past 2-3 weeks, I knew there was big change coming at work, I HATE change, and more than that, I hate uncertainty.I think this stems from worrying as a young child that my dad would die, and I would be an orphan.
I’ve been very stressed out lately. It’s my own fault. I shouldn’t worry, but I do. I know in my heart that God will not leave me or forsake me, it’s just that… I’m an idiot, that’s it.
I never go to the gym without music. I’ve been having a hard time praying for my own needs lately. I know that God doesn’t need words, He knows my heart but I need the words. Does that make sense?? I decided on my 3rd Day CD that I made that has a lot of my favorites. It ended up being the conversation that me & God had today. It seemed that the CD (from old songs to the newer) was just what I needed to say to God, and what I needed God to say to me. From ‘Sing a Song’ which I just wanted to tell God, that I want to live a life for Him, one that He is proud of to “how do you know” because I will have new job responsibilities and I wasn’t really asked if that’s what I wanted to do, I was just kind of assigned them. Which is fine, I do it well. I guess I just wondered how come they thought I should do ‘this’ instead of ‘that’… I prayed that the leaders of my company would follow God’s will, so I have to trust that they did. I know that wherever I end up, God will be able to use me in mighty ways.
This day that I took off, I needed it. I needed a day to take a journey with God, to rest in Him, to reach out and hold His hand. I feel like lately, I’ve been walking in the valley and through all of it, I will stand, holding the hand of Jesus, on the Mountain of God.
I know that I am not the only one out there who goes through times when we just need to stand in the love of God and ask for Him to take our hand. He’s right there, just reach out.
Deut 31:8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."