Monday, November 13, 2006
There’s no place like home Toto.
Yesterday I went back to my old church for a “visit”. I had a few of the people over for turkey dinner that we had at lunch time. I wondered when I went to church if I would regret my choice. I wondered if I would be sorry, and want to crawl back to them. I was surprised that I didn’t. I was welcomed, it just wasn’t home. It didn’t have that same feeling it always did. I felt like an outsider. I have some really good friends there, but they will always be my friends, no matter what church I go to.
Last night was my last official night as a Youth Leader/Worker. That was tough. I’ve loved those kids for a few years now. And I can’t help but wonder what God has in store for me next. To be quite honest, I don’t know if I will be involved in the Youth, I really am not sure where I will be serving. That’s not easy for me. I like a plan, a well thought out, see the path ahead of me plan. Each step carefully thought out. I know there is a plan, but I am not sure what it is, God hasn’t revealed it all to me yet. It’s like an unlit path, with only one step out in front of me. That’s all I can see. And I don’t really like it.
Do you ever feel like God can sometimes speak to you, and His voice is loud and clear, and sometimes when He speaks His direction is quick and quiet?
I’m a little scared right now. I don’t like this feeling. I want to serve, but I don’t know where yet. I want to feel like I belong, but not sure where the piece of the puzzle fits. I feel like I am floating in the middle of an ocean in a little raft, enjoying the view but don’t want to end up on a deserted island or lost at sea.
Staying would have been much easier. It would have, but it wasn’t the right thing to do, because as a child of God and as a parent, I must go where God calls, even if it’s not comfortable.
I guess I’ll have to do some being still to listen to what He has to say.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth."
Jer 29:11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.