I'm fat!



I had two blogs, well, I had one just for weight loss, thinking that it would help me lose weight because I would be accountable. I wasn’t. It didn’t help.

So, I’m still fat. Look at the picture of me on the right. YUCK! Look at those cheeks. I am beautiful, but not when I am this fat. I’ve already started working on my “waist watching” because I have a huge closet full of clothes, really cute clothes that I just can’t wear because I am just too darn fat. And please don’t say “you’re not fat” because I am.

Everyone has a diet that works. Quite frankly, it’s not that I don’t know what to eat. It’s that I want to eat all the time. If I don’t keep busy, I am putting food in my face. Though I must admit, eating food high in fiber is keeping me full longer, and I am sure it is helping.

I have little energy (and if you think I have lots of it, you should see me when I am at my best). And I just don’t like myself this way. I don’t like to be fat, I don’t like the feeling of being out of control. I like the way I look and feel in a size 8. I’m not going to lie. Size does matter!!

I think that for the most part, I am pretty on the inside, and I would like my outsides to match my insides, and being fat makes me ugly on both. It makes me doubt myself, does crappy stuff to my self esteem. Fat puts me at higher risks for heart disease, diabetes, cancer, and self-loathing.

And so I don’t mean to offend you, if you are fat, and you are truly happy with that, then I am happy for you, but I am not happy for myself. So I am asking you, as my friends, ask me how I am doing with this eating thing, and I promise to answer you honestly, and when I don’t do well, ask me why, ask me what’s eating at me because I am eating too much of something else. I am asking, begging, don’t bring me things I shouldn’t eat (like donuts at life group), if we go out to eat, let’s eat healthy.



This won’t happen over night. But it will happen.




look at me before...

Comments

Sara said…
you are right, you're a beauty. and you are right, being fat isn't good for any part of us. and i'm in it with you. no more donuts and goodies. sometimes we have to feel the pain to embrace the change. i'm with you sister. xos
Pat said…
I'm with both of you! It's the after the holidays - this body is fat- I can't stand myself reality time.
Is it possible to over eat just because a person likes the taste of food, or is there always an underlying reason? I recognize my stress eating times, but sometimes I just eat because I like food....I think. What do you think?