Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Believing in myself


Believe in yourself
What you think, what you feel,
Believe in the truth,
In the good, the ideal,
Believe that your dreams
Can someday be real...
Forever and Always,
Believe in yourself
And in what you can do,
Believe in the goals
That you strive to pursue,
Believe in the friends,
Who believe in you, too...
Forever and Always,
--Amanda Bradley

This is one of my favorite poems. I have it on a card somewhere at home and I used to have my website that I created at the end of my associate degree in a class where I learned to write html code. It was really fun, I put a lot of “inspirational” things on there.

You want to know a secret? And I guess if I tell you, it wno’t be a secret, but if you know me, really know me, you know it already. I don’t believe in myself. Some people think I do, but really, do you think I fight so hard because I think I can? Its more like I work really hard to prove someone wrong, maybe it’s me that I am proving wrong. Maybe I am the one who thinks that I can’t do it, so I work really hard to prove myself wrong. It’s quite a battle when you fight yourself, I don’t think there is ever a winner.

I think as a youth leader, and most importantly I think as a mom, if I could help those kids realize anything, it’s that they are loved and because they are loved, they can do anything. And because they are loved, I hope they see all the wonderful things about themselves and because of that, they know that they can do anything.

There are a lot of things I wish I could change about myself, weight probably being at the top of the list, but truly if there’s anything, I wish I could see myself the way others do (the ones who think I am wonderful) and like myself. I wish that somehow I saw myself the way God sees me, not including all the times I’ve disappointed Him. Maybe someday I will get there or maybe I am just having a rough week.

1 John 3:18-20 My dear children, let's not just talk about love; let's practice real love. This is the only way we'll know we're living truly, living in God's reality. It's also the way to shut down debilitating self-criticism, even when there is something to it. For God is greater than our worried hearts and knows more about us than we do ourselves. (msg)


Amber Land said...

That is a tricky subject. I think if you put too much faith in your self you quit trying to do your best, but if you don't believe in yourself enogh you can't achieve what you were made to do. Also about losing weight, I have lost weight (and found it again) and still never been satisfied. I though I didn't look skinny. Like my target weight was still too big. So when you lose weight make sure you enjoy it!

Jada's Gigi said...

keep looking at Him..before you know it you'll be seeing a reflection..that will be you in the mirror...looking like Him..

KayMac said...

Like JG said...when we look at Him, we fill find the truest reflection of ourselves.

Praying for some relief from your tough week.

Arlene said...

I know for a fact that too much emphasis is put on weight. Growing up my parents used to introduce me to people as this is our little baby elephant. Now that will really help your self esteem along, trust me. I had to get to the point that what they said didn't matter, but knowing that God loves me in any situation that I am in. I still struggle with the fact that I am too heavy and I believe it is an inner thing. I am beginning to learn to lean on Him more and more so I becomes less and less.

Arlene said...

In my parents defense and in their own way what they said was their way of shaming me into losing weight. They really didn't mean to hurt me.