Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

I have to let it go

Today was the final day. I had a tough spirit because I was not going to let anyone hurt me today, enough of that has gone on. But I think, like most days, God has a specific plan and great accomplishment for me, every day, but my heart needs to be open to it.

My heart sang all morning, praise songs to God because I indeed know how good He is, all the time. There is a song I never heard before on WMUZ, it was something from psalm 46, 46:10 to be exact, be still and know I am there. That's right.

I was a Catholic for 31 years. I left the Catholic church to be fed somewhere else, and I have been chasing God like crazy ever since. I fall a lot, because that's what happens when you run, but then you get up, forget about those scraped knees and you keep going. And the funny thing is that I dreaded the service today because it's so repetitive and quite frankly, pretty boring. But I listened today, I listened to the words. God's word is always beautiful, even if you say it in a pretty monotone voice, His word is wonderful.

I opened my heart today, and my arms. My daughter needed her mom and my cousin needed me to hold her and hug her and love her. So we stood there, the three of us, hugging and crying, all together. In love.

I prayed for the last 5 days that my cousin Tom would be there, I haven't seen him in 5 1/2 years since my great-uncle passed away. He wasn't doing well then, he was in a broken marriage that has since ended in divorce. I prayed that he would be there today, I have been trying to find him, I've prayed for him for a long time. I was so happy to see him today. My heart about lept out of my chest, I gave him my email, both home and work, but I know that some people are a little nutty about my email since it's 'Christdrivenmom', but I just told him if it made him feel uncomfortable (because he had a wierd look when he read it) that he could email me at work. The day went on, the service went on but as we left, I hugged him and I told him that I wanted him to email me and that I had been praying for him, and he got a little chocked up and misty. I can't wait to see how God works in his heart. I love him.

We came home after an exhausting day. I am tired, I know that God never left my side today. I know that heaven probably ran out of duct tape keeping it over my mouth, but I am sure they have an endless supply.

Jer 29:11-13 11 For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 12 Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. 13 You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart


Sara said...

thinking about you all day. love you. xos

Pat said...

This post made me cry.
I love your heart and spirit.

Tonya said...

I have been thinking about you all day!

MSU gal said...

we have a lot in common and a tougher road than most. i am finding out that single parenthood is tougher than i ever imagined.

KayMac said...