Why do I have these issues? 1. Because I am not one of those people (and I wish I was!) and 2. because it doesn't seem real.
Do I know that the Lord will handle it all, without my help? yes. Does that mean I don't struggle? Nope. I have been going through some stuff. And I had one person say to me "you know the bible says...". Yeah, I know. That doesn't mean I'm not struggling. I know what the bible says. I know God will take care of it all. I don't always want someone to solve my problems, I just want someone to listen. That's it.
Proverbs 3:1-12 (msg)
1-2 Good friend, don't forget all I've taught you; take to heart my commands. They'll help you live a long, long time, a long life lived full and well.
3-4 Don't lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart.Earn a reputation for living well in God's eyes and the eyes of the people. 5-12 Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don't try to figure out everything on your own.Listen for God's voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he's the one who will keep you on track.Don't assume that you know it all. Run to God! Run from evil!Your body will glow with health, your very bones will vibrate with life!Honor God with everything you own; give him the first and the best.Your barns will burst, your wine vats will brim over.But don't, dear friend, resent God's discipline; don't sulk under his loving correction.It's the child he loves that God corrects; a father's delight is behind all this.
I have also decided that Tuesdays and Thursdays are now off limits to go anywhere. I've decided that our life has totally gotten completely out of control. There are weeks when I don't make it home until 8 (4 out of 5 days during the week), sometimes I get to change my clothes after work, sometimes not. So... from now on (OK all days except when we go to see Crowder) that's the rule, unless it's a family thing of me & Phyllis. People are welcome to come over and eat with us, but we're not going anywhere, except to take a walk. I have to do this for my own sanity. With the addtion of Alive! which, I am SO thankful for, but our time must be more scheduled, more consistant, more deliberate, because we need our time at home. I think this is for our own benefit (and everyone else's around me ;) )
Psalm 62:8 Trust in him at all times, O people; pour out your hearts to him, for God is our refuge