There are many times I am accused of being too nice, for going out of my way too much. For being too thoughtful. For those of you who are laughing, stop.
There are many times when I turn the other cheek only to be slapped on the other. And most of the time I don't mind. Really, I just figure that it's a lesson I have to learn. that is until I completely as fed up, when I am handed a pile of crap, and then forced to eat it.
Have you ever seen my calendar? It looks crazy, hence, why I had to institute the "no leaving on Tuesday and Thursday" rule. We stay home those days. Sun, Mon we're busy, Wed we're busy, and then Friday and Saturday come, and we seem to always have something scheduled.
Hence why I tell people, if you want me to be at an event, you cannot wait until the last minute to invite us. And then if it's on a Sunday, it's probably really not going to happen (Regular Metro and Alive). I told you before, my family forgot to include me in the family reunion stuff, seriously, can't figure out how people forget me, but whatever. Then my family (dad's side) got together on Sunday, I got an email the Monday before. Way to go prior planning, last I heard, they were going to pick a couple dates, see what worked but apparently, that plan got thrown to the wind. That being said, Margie & Phyllis were not there. We all have to make choices in life, and my cousin (mom's side) was here from Nebraska and we only see her every 4 years or so. My issue is not that I had to make a choice, my issue is that I was forced to. I got a voicemail from my dad "don't be mad".
I wasn't. You know why? Because I am used to it. At least they invited me this year, last year, I found out because my dad didn't know I wasn't invited and asked me if I would take the cards or if I was picking up gramma or something.
I am learning that sometimes our families just don't care one way or another. Maybe it's one of those things that they think that I don't have anything to add or contribute, so why bother. Maybe they just don't like me. I have always felt like they didn't think I was good enough or I was the white trash in their pretty pictures. And you know, we all gotta be something (you probably won't hear me ever say this again) but I am not white trash. A few bad choices along the way, covered in God's grace, bought by His blood.
And here's the thing. I'm missing out, but THEY ARE MISSING OUT TOO! I don't know what their rationale is. I don't think I will ever know. But leaving me out only hurts everyone. It's hurts them, it hurts Phyllis, it hurts me.
So today, I am choosing to see myself the way God sees me. Not close to perfect, but loved just the same. By Him.
Psalm 13:5 But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation