I'm not ok. Lately when people ask me how I am, I say "ok" but I'm really not.
I don't want anyone to get the wrong idea, I am about as connected with God as I have ever been, but somehow I have never felt more unsettled as I do now. I am not sleeping at night, and for me, that's when I know it's pretty bad. I lay down, I wake up a million times a night.
I don't know what it is, the only thing I can say is that everywhere I am, doesn't seem right. I don't know why I feel this way. Nothing is "wrong", I'm not making poor choices, actually in all aspects of my life, I think I am doing well, but I am unsettled.
I feel like God is speaking to me in a million ways, all the time, His voice, though it's not really in words is very clear. I feel like I am standing on the rock of God and someone is trying to push me off. And to be honest, it's kind of getting on my nerves.
1 Thes 3:2-5 2We sent Timothy, who is our brother and God's fellow worker[a]in spreading the gospel of Christ, to strengthen and encourage you in your faith, 3so that no one would be unsettled by these trials. You know quite well that we were destined for them. 4In fact, when we were with you, we kept telling you that we would be persecuted. And it turned out that way, as you well know. 5For this reason, when I could stand it no longer, I sent Timothy to find out about your faith. I was afraid that in some way the tempter might have tempted you and our efforts might have been useless.
So I am trying to get through this. Phyllis starts 9th grade today which is so awesome, a lot of people wish for times past, back. Not me, I am happy to be where we are.
Here is a prayer, written by Sara, I'm standing on the Word of God today, resting in His arms.
Dear Gracious Heavenly Father,
Once again we send our children out into the world. We know it's a place that won't love them like we do and won't always encourage them to love you. But Lord, greater are you in them than what they will face in the world. We ask you to place a hedge around their physical bodies and give them safety and strength. Guard their hearts from doubt, fear and emotional attacks of the enemy.
Give them wisdom and minds that always seek you in what they are being told and let them learn to compare the information they receive with your word. Give them victories that they can praise you for. Give them failures that will teach them to be humble but not break their spirits. Give them friends who love you that they can learn to serve you along side of. Give them teachers who follow you. Bless the buildings they will sit in and the people they will be with.
Father, if there is any person, adult or child, out there who might intend harm toward these precious kids; stop that plan now in the name of Jesus Christ. Put a barrier in front of that intent of destruction before it can materialize. Expose those individuals that they might be helped and saved from themselves.
Finally my Savior, I ask that you would lay a cloak of peace and joy around our children. And do a good work in us as parents that we might become worthy of this great gift you've placed in our hands.
Thank you God; for kindergartners and high schoolers and college students who will love you with their whole hearts and live lives to your glory.In Jesus name.Amen.
And if you were the jerk who made that nasty comment on my blog, you're a jerk, I'm praying for you. And... eat a worm.