Passion is a gritty kind of love, tough and

optimistic enthusiasm that overcomes negativity and inconvenience to make it

through to the end. (10,000 Reasons Overflow)

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


Ecc 4:9-11
9 Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their work:

10 If one falls down,
his friend can help him up.
But pity the man who falls
and has no one to help him up!

11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?

Children are meant to have two parents. My way is not the right way. Can it be managed? Yes. But is it the way it's supposed to be? No.

My dad was a single parent. I missed having a mom my whole life. I'm a single parent, and although Phyllis doesn't talk about it much to me, I am sure she misses having a dad in her life.

Today I was walking to get my diet pepsi, with my oatmeal in my hand walking... multi-tasking. I rarely do one thing at a time, it's not possible. If I did, I'd never get to sleep. I always have two things going, God made me a great listener because I can listen and watch kids at the same time. There is always something that has to be done.

When Phyllis was 4 she was diagnosed with Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis. One December 5, 1997. A day I will never forget. Something else I won't forget? That I had to make EVERY choice regarding her health. EVERY medicine, nights of staying up all night reading everything I could get my hands on, countless hours on my knees, alone, praying for the pain to be taken away. For complete healing.

Now 10 years later, I'm on my knees again, different issue, just as important though. Alone. We were supposed to be in pairs. Two different perceptions, someone to check the other when they are out of line. We're not supposed to have to go through all of this alone.

In 1997 Jesus was with me, probably standing right over me, only I didn't know it.
In 2007, I know He is with me, standing over me, wiping away my tears.

Rev 4 He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away."


KayMac said...

I know it is not the same, but I am on my knees right along with you. Praying. Asking our Jesus to guide you as you make this decision.

Pat said...

Praying for you and admiring the honesty of your heart.